Phobia

Everybody has phobia. I have and had a lot of phobias. When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. I couldn't sleep with the lights off. So I would resort to having the lights on when I go to bed. It didn't work too well because my parents kept telling me off for not switching off the lights when I sleep. So I changed my approach. After I off the lights, I would quickly jump into bed and throw my blanket over me, from head to toe. Come to think about it, it was quite silly. What's the point of covering myself with the blanket. It's like the ostrich sticking its head into the ground when it is afraid, thinking that by not able to see, the problem will disappear. And the blanket approach didn't last long. My dad would find me cover with the blanket and he would tell me off, saying that I would suffocate myself. So I was left with no choice. I had to deal with the issue - the issue of darkness. So one night, I decided I would just be brave and face the darkness. Initially, it was pretty awful. The mind started to play tricks. It seemed that every second or other, there would be a noise. But I guess with many more such brave attempts, I slowly outgrew my fear of the dark. Now, there will be times I will stare blankly into the darkness of my room and (anticipatingly) hope that I can see some 'interesting' thing. Haha!

Another phobia of mine is claustrophobia. It is a symptom of panic when enclosed in an area. I never knew why I had such a phobia as I never had a bad experience. But I know I have it since young. So far, I haven't been too badly affected by this phobia except for 1 incident. I remembered when I was in Secondary school and we had an excursion to Science Centre. In the exhibition, there was this maze which was make up mirrors. So when you stepped into the maze, all you see was reflections. After walking through the maze for a while, I started to feel claustrophobic. So I accelerated my steps. Bad choice. It worsened my condition as the reflection from the mirror make me feel like I was trapped in the mirror. By the time I exited out of the maze, I was hyperventilating. And my mind was badly traumatised. When somebody talked to me or if I do an action, everything seemed to have a time lapse before my brain received the full signal. NO JOKE! I thought I was gone. haha!

Fear of heights. One phobia that I have not fully overcome. I remembered when I was young, I hated crossing the overhead bridge. It was too scary for me. But sadly, I had to use the bridge often. So I engineered the best way to cross the bridge in the quickest way. When I hit the top of the bridge, I would aline myself in the middle and make a 50m dash. haha! So funneh siah! My family would always tease me over this little run of mine. Slowly, I outgrew but yet it was not fully overcome. In my army days, I had difficulties crossing the Jacob's Ladder. I was stuck at the peak and it was so humorous to think about it because all the Specialists and Officers were afraid that I slipped and were very 'nice' and 'caring', encouraging me to take my time and cross the ladder. I doubt I would ever overcome this fear. Bungee jumping???

Fear of the sea. I dun know if there's a scientific term for this type of phobia. Initially, it was fear of water. I had 2 drowning incidents when I was young. Thankfully, my mum send me for swimming lesson after the incidents. I overcome the fear of water. However, I still cannot overcome the fear of the sea. Even though I know I can swim, I know that the sea cannot anyhow play play one. Especially when there are currents. So when I take boat, I won't really dare to stand at the side. Looking at the sea makes me feel like it will swallow me any moment. And every waves that sweep towards me seem to be enticing me make the leap into the water. Eeerrrieeee.

How do we overcome phobia? Sometimes, the best way is to deal with it face to face. Like fear of water. The best way is to experience what water is like. Go into the shallow water first. And once comfortable, slowly, move to a deeper area. It has to be progressive. But what if something bad happen along the way. What if you were starting to feel confident in the deeper water, and somebody come along and start to push you into the water? It may cause the person to have deeper fear of that element.

Hai Sians (Seafood?)

Hai Sing High, now know as Hai Sing Catholic, was my Secondary School. I still could remember all those years in school, the fun, the laughter, the crazy things we do, the struggles, the friendship, everything was a part of me. I guess that was one of my best 4 yrs spent in school. I do enjoy my other years of school but just that Secondary was like my highlight. Primary school was fun but I guess I was a crybaby and timid boy so most of the time I was spending worrying over everything. Then JC was fun too, had alot of friends but for me most of the time was struggling to climb out of the red zone.
Secondary was fun becoz it was a transition from a little boy to a youth. It seemed like suddenly the world was more than it meets the eyes. There were so much more things to explore. (especially girls... ops! haha!) And I really thank God for friendship that was formed during Secondary sch. I have to admit that I was very not active with the activities they organised but yet they have been very gracious and accepting. Even after 10 yrs we left sch, we were still meeting up. It is very interesting and funny to think back 10 yrs ago on the things we do. When we were in Sec 1, we formed our different sects in the class. The girls had 3 sects and the guys had 4 sects. And within the sects we had like a Family Tree. And it can get very complicated. Like Girl A could be Boy B's daughter but because Girl A is like linked to Boy C and happened that Boy C is a 'brother' of Boy B, the whole relationship gets messed up. So extrapolate this results to a class of 40. You can see how messy we all are. The girls didn't have name for their sects but the guys did. One of the sects is called the "Roller Hawks" because they roller blade and rollerblade hockey was the in thing at my time. Another sect was called the TERA because they are made up of 4 memebers and they used the 1st initial of their name to form the word TERA. My sect is called the SPECS. 5 of us and we are called SPECS because we all wear specs. Haha! Lame I know! But I'm proud! The last group was a very mean and sad case. I guess we were all immature and insensitive at that age. Those who were not in any particular sect was defaulted into the last sect, known as the Turtle Tribe. I dun know who came up with the name (i suspect it was me! : p) but come to think about it, it's funny but mean. (i was a part time meany in class; yes i can be very mean) After Sec 2, we broke into our different streams but yet we never forget our friendship. Up to now, TERA, SPECS and the 12 girls sects are still meeting up. Really thank God for these wonderful friendship. And it is also amazing lah!
One of the guys from the Turtle Tribe and one of the sister of the12 girl sects were hitched together since Secondary Sch. And they just got married a few months back. Haha! Den also one of the brothers in my sect is attached to one of the sister in the 12 girls sects. Wuaahahahaha! It cannot get any better. Interesting! Will there be more interesting things? We shall see!

Let's talk abit more about my sect, the SPECS. I cannot exactly how our sect formed. I did remember the 1st day of sch in our class, the form teacher told us to go walk around and introduce ourself. I remembered I walk to these guy who was like way too tall den the normal sec 1 boys like us. And then the next thing I knew was that he became our Da Ge (big brother). Our Big Brother - Chan Kah Seng. He is 2 yrs older than all of us. His parents open Wan Tan Mee at Pasir Ris Central. Very good! Must go and try. And presently he is married to his wife who is pregnant with twins, 1 girl 1 boy! Wow! Amazing.
And my 2nd Brother - Yong Kian Leong. Humorous is an understatement for him. Without fail, at all circumstances, he will crack your mouth open. Best known for his unbeatable tongue. But you will once in a while see the quiet side of him as well.
And 3rd Brother - Choo Xianjie. Oh that's me! haha! What do i say about myself?
4th Brother - Toh Meng Lee. The arty farty one. Haha! Creative juice flowing in every part of his body. Adventurous. He is the 1st among us to go abroad to work. Quiet but when he opens his mouth, your mouth will also be wide open. Haha!
5th Brother - Chai Jian Wei. Though the youngest, do not underestimate him. One of the brainy. Can be quiet but once open mouth...... you know the results. (i guess that's one of the trademark of the SPECS) He is the one who is attached to one of the sister in the 12 girls sect. It was so low-profile that we only knew it when they were holding hands. Yup! He has his ways with the girls. Muahaha!

A quick run through of my sect. Presently only me and my 2nd brother is free agent. The rest are taken. Interested, pls apply. Muahahahahaaha!

Well! Secondary is the best time in my life. If I can, I would want to go through again. And I missed the Canteen food. Haha!

Actually, I decided to post about Hai Sing was because I remembered singing this hymns during Morning assembly. But I couldn't fully remember the lyrics. The tune attracted me at that time. Now as I read the lyrics, it is so meaningful but I just can't recall the full lyrics. I am appealing to anyone who can help me fill in the missing parts. Thanks!

SPIRIT WINGS (if i didn't remember wrongly)

Some birds live in cages
They sing a quiet song
And like them
I could sing for only You

But Lord Your love release me
To sing a different song
And soar above
The captive life I knew

Chours:
Spirit Wings
You lift me over all the earth bound things
And like a bird my heart is flying free
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You lift me up
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You carry me on Your Spirit Wings