Time Flies

Well. It has been 3 years 7 months since my last post. How time flies? Watched a few movies that talks about growing up. Suddenly, it dawns upon myself, 32 years have passed me. Feels like a long long time. Seems like there are so many time capsule to reclaim. I wonder if in a nutshell, I can remember those milestones of my 32 years of life.

20 Aug 1981     Me was born
??? 1986            Enter kindergarten;
                          My 1st crush
1988                  Temasek Primary School; Cried on 2nd week of school because mummy not allowed
                           in school
1989                   My 2nd crush (she left sch because family immigrated)
1990                   My third crush;
                           Primary 3 streaming exams
1991-1993         Secretly and faithfully liking (stalking :D) my crush;
                          PSLE Streaming (EPIC big time)
1994                   Hai Sing High School; My 4th crush (lasted for 4 yrs; EPIC big time also)
1995                   Streaming Exam (another EPIC)
1996                   Went back to my first church;
                           Had a mini crush (5th crush)
1997                   O Level (Guess what? EPIC again)
1998                   Outram Institute (3months);
                           Met my 6th crush; FIRST time I signaled my interest to a gal; RESPONSE - No
                           response (priceless)
                           After 3 months, we went to same JC (Catholic) and same class; But still no chance
                           (EPIC)
1999                  Join SACC
                           A Level (EPIC.....)
April 2000         ARMY...... then kena Heat Stroke.....
Aug   2002         ORD;
                           Internship with SACC for 1 year
Dec 2002            First Mission Trip to Cambodia
2003                   Started ACC study
Dec 2004           2nd Mission Trip to Cambodia - Youth
                          My 7th crush; she went overseas for study (EPIC); anyway I prayed about it and
                          God's reply was "Wait upon Him."
Apr 2007           3rd Mission Trip to Cambodia
June 2007          Rejected by 8th crush (booo hoooo.....)
Sep 2007           4th Mission Trip to Cambodia - Youth Camp (taught BGR.... irony... hahaahha)
Dec 2007           Exploration trip to Cambodia (went to Vietnam with Daniel Ong for 3 days and I
                           took a bus to Phonom Penh)
                           Met Kareng (Admin Officer) of CCOP and other church staff
Apr 2008           Submitted my FYP for ACCA
June 2008          Joined SACC as Parish Assistant Worker
Aug 2008          Flew to CCOP
2009                  My 9th crush and my 1st GF! :)
Apr 2010           Return to SGP
July 2010          Enter TTC
2011                  Became a brother of Andrew Peh! :)
Dec 2012          Mission Trip; Was robbed at gun point
Aug 2013          Mission Trip; Injured back and hospitalised
Present              Still studying in TTC


I think I can propose to some directors if they interested to make my life story into a movie! :)

SUMMARY FOR THE LAST 11 DAYS

DAY 20:
Walk- 2.5km
Calories Burnt- 213.8 kCal

Run- 1.8km
Calories Burnt- 171.6 kCal

TOTAL CALORIES BURNT: 385.4 kCal
WEIGHT: 90 kg

Yeah.... Officially lost my 2nd kg in 20 days...


DAY 19
Walk- 10.8km
Calories Burnt- 1,145.3 kCal

WEIGHT: 90.5kg


DAY 18
REST


DAY 17:
REST


DAY 16:
Walk- 2.5km
Calories Burnt- 206.7 kCal

Run- 1.7km
Calories Burnt- 158.4 kCal

TOTAL CALORIES BURNT: 365.1 kCal
WEIGHT: 91kg


DAY 15:
REST


DAY 14:
REST


DAY 13:
Walk- 2.7km
Calories Burnt- 244.2 kCal


DAY 12:
Walk- 7.3km
Calories Burnt- 794 kCal



DAY 11:
REST


DAY 10:
Walk- 6km
Calories Burnt- 450.4 kCal

TAF CLUB: DAY 09 (22 Jan)

MORNING:

Breakfast:
- Milo
- 2 slices of bread


AFTERNOON:
Lunch:
- Fried chicken
- Potato
- Cauliflower

Exercise:
- Walk to Lucky


EVENING:

Exercise:
- Run 2.1km
Calories Burnt: 198.5 kCal

-Walk of the day: 3.0km
Calories Burnt: 252.0 kCal

TOTAL CALORIES BURNT: 450.5 kCal
WEIGHT: 91kg... ; )

TAF CLUB: DAY 08 (21 Jan)

SYSTEM ERROR once again....

You know what this mean... : p

DEVOTION

Psalm 32

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you and watch over you.

9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,

which have no understanding

but must be controlled by bit and bridle

or they will not come to you.

10 Many are the woes of the wicked,

but the LORD's unfailing love

surrounds the man who trusts in him.

11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;

sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Meaning of INSTRUCT:

- verb (used with object)
1. to furnish with knowledge, esp. by a systematic method; teach; train; educate.
2. to furnish with orders or directions; direct; order; command: The doctor instructed me to diet.
3. to furnish with information; inform; apprise.
4. Law. (of a judge) to guide (a jury) by outlining the legal principles involved in the case under consideration.


I will just talk on point 1 and 2.
First meaning is to furnish with knowledge in a systematic method. The Lord will show us the way by methods of allowing us to comprehend certain knowledge and not just in anyhow way but in a way that is organised and natural to our comprehension.

Second meaning is to furnish with orders or directions or command. Orders and commands implied a very strong demand for the receipient to simply follow the instructions, nevermind, if it does not makes human sense or it does not follow the way of our doings. Sometimes, we need to abandon our understanding, our ways of doings and our know-how. God is not restricted by our limitations. God is above all things and His ways of doing may not always be comprehensive to us. If God can be fully know, really there is not much to awe about Him. But we know that He has and know the best way. Can we simply trust in His ways especially those that we can not understand or make sense?
Horses and mules are manoueverd by the bit and bridle. In our lives, are we also controlled by such bit and bridle? Career, Money, Power, Love, Materials. These things are not evil in itself but when it becomes the bit and bridle of our lives, controlling our left and right turn, we are no bette than those horses and mules. We becomes slaves.

The ways of the evil are plentiful but we know the love of our Jesus stands victorious. When surrounded with the hot lava of evil, do we simply forget that we are standing on a High Rock? Do we succumb to paying evil of evil or compromising because everyone is also doing? We need to stand firm. We need to know the right way. We need to listen to His instructions and His teachings.

His promise that His unfailing love will surround us. How much more can we ask for? What can we do but rejoice for our God is good and righteous.

TAF CLUB: DAY 07

MORNING:

Breakfast:
- Milo
- 2 slices of bread


AFTERNOON:

Lunch:
- Bak Kuh Teh
- Spinach
- Rice


EVENING:

Exercise:
- Run 1.7km
Calories burnt: 153.6 kCal

- Walk of the day: 2.6km
Calories burnt: 209.7 kCal


TOTAL CALORIES BURNT: 363.3 kCal
WEIGHT: 91 kg..... : )

TAF CLUB: DAY 06

MORNING:

Breakfast:
- Milo
- 2 slices of bread


AFTERNOON:

Lunch:
- 2 slices of Luncheon Meat
- Kang Kong w chilli
- 2 Tomatoes, pan-fried
- Rice


EVENING:

Dinner:
- Fish-head
- Peas n Kang Kong
- Rice


Weight: 91kg.... tsk tsk..... Yeay... 1st kilo gone :D

TAF CLUB: DAY 05

MORNING:

Breakfast:
- Milo
- 2 slices of Bread


AFTERNOON:

Lunch:
- SpringRoll Noodle with Coffee

Exercise:
- Walk back from Russian Market to Lucky Supermarket then back to Church
Total Distance: 2.7km
Steps: 2827
Calories Burnt: 223.7kCal


EVENING:

Exercise:
- Run 1.9km
Calories Burnt: 176.5kCal

Dinner:
- Char Siew, Pig Intestines, Masala Chicken, Vege and Rice


TOTAL CALORIES BURNT: 400.2kCal

WEIGHT: 93kg

Hehehe.... I decided to use my Sony Ericsson W710i which has a Fitness Mode to calculate Distance and Calories burnt..... : )

TAF CLUB: DAY 04

SYSTEM ERROR. CANNOT UPDATE!

hahaha....

Well, today is Sunday, so gave myself a break. :)

TAF CLUB: DAY 03

Morning:

Breakfast:
- 1 cup of cereal
- 2 slices of Wholemeal bread with Pork Floss

Help to scrap and paint wall in English School  -  2 hour

Lunch:
- Bee Hoon

Walk for 1 1/2 hours to run errand.

Evening:
Run 1.6km

Dinner:
- Bee Hoon


Weight: 92kg

TAF CLUB: DAY 02

Morning:
- push-ups  3 sets of 30

Breakfast:
- 1 cup of Milo
- 2 slices of Wholemeal bread with Pork Floss

Lunch:
- Eggplant with minced pork
- Rice

Dinner:
- A packet of noodle

Weight: 92kg

TAF CLUB: DAY 01

Morning:
-  Crunches  x 1 set
-  Push-ups  x 3 sets of 30

Breakfast:
-  1 cup of Milo
-  1 small pkt of instant noodle

Lunch:
-  2 Chicken wings
-  3 Meat balls
-  Vegetables and cucumbers
-  Rice

Tea:
-  1 cup of 2-in-1 coffee
-  4 cubes of chocolate
-  2 biscuits

Evening:
-  1.6km run

Dinner:
-  Rice with 1 slab of Tofu with Pork Floss


WEIGHT:  92kg

Comment:
My goodness, how did I swell to 92kg...... Great.... I hope to become 85kg before I finally return to S'pore in April.
Set a realistic goal - Chinese New Year. 1 month time. Lose 3kg. : )

Greatest and Great Gifts

Christmas is near..... It's a festive time to share the goodness and wonderful gifts with our loved ones. Christmas is more than just a holiday. It's the day our Lord Jesus Christ came, not as a strong man but like all human, a helpless baby. We all know that eventually He grew up and became the blameless sacrificial Lamb to die for our sins. The coming of Jesus is definitely the greatest gift for all mankind. However, not all have heard or experienced this gift. We need to share this gift.

I give thanks to other many great gifts. Gift of good health. Gift of laughter. Gift of sight and hearing. Gift of wonderful friends. Gift of all sorts of emotions. Personally, the gift of me coming to Cambodia is one of the most treasured and blessings from the Lord. I came 'untrained' but yet the Lord has provided ways and means to accomplish my tasks. I came with 3 concerns. Yet each concern was slowly answered. I give thanks that my parents are taken good care of. I give thanks for His financial providence. And the last concern is one that I wish but dare not request. 28 yrs of waiting.... Maybe it's time... or maybe it's more waiting. Whatever it is, I know God has given us the best Gift and He will not hide any other good gifts that are good for us.


A reminder from the Lord.... : )

I FIX MY EYES ON YOU (editted 13 Mar 2007)

Verse:
I bow before Your throne
My eyes are not fixed on You
My eyes are troubled
My mind is distracted from You, Lord

Pre-Chorus:
In Your word it is said
That everything has its time and seasons
The coming of Spring time after winter is assured
But when such time fails
I may not understand
But I know the Lord is here

Chorus:
Patiently wait for You my Lord
Trusting in You simply because
You're my Lord, the Creator of my life
And I will lift my hands to You
In such times I'll sing a new song to You
Of Your faithfulness to me
I bow before Your throne
I fix my eyes on You

Closed Door

This door has been closed.
But I thought it is quite a good time to test the door.
I had popped the question to her for consideration.
Irrespective of the answer, the door is still closed.
I believe the Lord still wants me to learn to wait.
Though it is starting to shed some light.... : )

A step at a time..... : )

Oldies

I have been listening to some of the old cartoon songs. ​Nice! : )






<

សប្បាយចិត្ត

នៅទីបំផុតមាន់ថតរូបជាមួយ....... សប្បាយចិត្ត..... ប៉ុន្តែប្រហែលខ្ញុំគិតច្រានពេខ.......

ព្រះអង្គស្រឡាញ់បងប្អូនអស់គ្នា។

នេះគឺជាខ្ញុំពេលទីមួយសរសេរភាសាខ្មែរនៅBlogspot។
ព្រះអង្គស្រឡាញ់បងប្អូនអស់គ្នា។

Into old songs... (not really old though)

Deep Thoughts

I chanced upon an opportunity to speak with one of the youths. This young man was chatting with me about his upcoming exams. And what follows next was his future plan. And he was sharing about his past dreams. He told me that in the past he wanted to work in church and be a pastor. He just wanted to serve God and he does not mind the small pay as he was alone. He can easily make sacrifices and manage his own life by himself.
However, now he has a girlfriend and he also feels a deep responsiblity to support his parents. So he was telling me it was unlikely he would work in church and be a pastor because now with a girlfriend and eventually wife and his parents in mind, he had to consider his responsiblity to them as well.
Back in my mind, I was asking myself if this young man had moved away from the calling of God. But I realised maybe not. The initial calling could have been just part of God's plan to draw the young man to Him and lead him to another level of service. This young man continued to share that he hoped that in the future he could set up a NGO which will have housing to house orpans and provide for them education. I was touched by his passion for God and his people.
I spoke a word of encouragement to him before we parted ways. After he had spoken those words, somehow or rather I felt he was speaking my heart. I am alone in Cambodia and I am adapting perfectly well. My pay is good enough for me alone. I try to eat simply with an occasion of good treat. I am wearing a US$1.50 T-shirt and I have no complaints. Once in a while, I also do give treats to the youths and the church staff. It is easy to manage by myself.
But what if I have a partner? Can I still make decisions so freely? Can I just make sacrifices without considering the impact on my partner? I have lots of thoughts. As much as I hope to find a soul partner, I am not sure if there is one who is willingly to live such a simple lifestyle. I do not think I will find someone who is willingly to try out a lifestyle because I feel that by trying out means there is a possiblity of not adapting well. If there is no one who can live such a lifestyle, maybe it's better I live this lifestyle alone... Less pain... (I am not understating what God can do)Maybe I am not at the point where I can see the light.

At this moment, I think I will put this matter in the air. Maybe with a lighter head, things are clearer.

LEARNING KHMER

I saw this article online about this foreigner learning Khmer and all the situations he came across while learning. I am sure he exaggerated some parts but it's so true and yet very funny. It is a long entry.


On Learning the Awful Khmer Language

by Antonio Graceffo

The first five months that I lived in Cambodia, I made a concerted effort to learn the language, by practicing with my Khmer friends, and by studying a grammar book at night, on my own. But the deeper I got into the language, the weirder it got.

Numbers are generally a pretty straight forward thing to learn when you are learning a foreign language. But of course, with Khmer the numbers make no sense. The counting system repeats after five, instead of after ten. That means, zero through five are unique numbers. Then six is FIVE and ONE. And SEVEN is FIVE and TWO. When you get into the teens, it is staggering how long the words are. Eighteen is TEN, FIVE, and THREE.

Khmer has a unique word for ten and a word for twenty. But then the tens, from thirty to one-hundred, are the same as in Thai.

Without doing any research, this tells me the early Khmers weren’t people who needed large numbers. And large numbers here, would be defined as larger than twenty-nine.

Having this mix of Thai and Khmer is completely inconsistent. For example, the word for FIFTY is not related to the word for FIVE, because FIVE is Khmer, and FIFTY is Thai. Apparently it doesn’t bother the Khmers to look at two FIVES, as in 55, and pronounce it HASEP PRAM, instead of HA or PRAM SEP PRAM. HA SEP means FIVE TENS in Thai. So, that part is logical in Thai. But in Khmer HA SEP has no meaning other that it is FIFTY.

Once I gave up on learning from my friends, and decided to sign up for school, it got worse. When we started reading decimal numbers I suspected that my teacher was lying to me. She claimed that .50 would be read DECIMAL HA SEP, but .5 would be read DECIMAL PRAM. So I asked her. “Since those two look identical, and since the zero after the decimal has no value, shouldn’t those be read the same?” Her answer was “yes.” But she continued to read them differently. The “Yes” answer was like coarse sandpaper on my eardrums. Her insistence on answering every question with “yes,” and then contradicting herself became another source of confusion and frustration for me. I would ask her something like “Is the word for chair Doc?”
Ands she would answer “Yes.”
Then I would continue with my sentence in Khmer. “I sit on the Doc.”
When I finished she would say. “Yes, that is incorrect. The Khmer word for CHAIR is GAUAI, not DOC. DOC is table.”
“But I asked you if CHAIR was DOC, and you said yes!” I protested.
“Yes.” She agreed.
The first few weeks of lessons I thought either my teacher was insane, or she was intentionally tripping me up. Maybe it was a conspiracy. Maybe the government didn’t want foreigners to learn Khmer and take away their edge.

What I eventually learned was that it was very common for Khmers, out of politeness, to always answer a question first with “yes.” Then they would give you the real answer, which could be yes or no. And the meaning of this first yes wasn’t the silly polite yes in Thailand, where they just never tell you that you are wrong. Actually it was a polite yes, which meant “I heard you,” or “I am listening.” Unfortunately, it took me a long time to figure this out, which resulted in me shouting at my teacher a number of times. “BUT YOU SAID YES!!! THEN YOU TELL ME I’M WRONG!!!”

Now that I am used to hearing “Yes, but No” we are getting along well. I know now that I have to ask once, pause, wait for the yes, pause again, and maybe ask a second time, before I will get the right answer. Pausing is hard for New Yorkers. And politeness is also not one of our string suits. But when in Phnom Penh…

My first post-graduate studies were in the field of applied linguistics, which I studied at the University of Mainz, Germany for four years. I never delved deeply into the field of psycholinguistics, but I have always been fascinated by the cultural facts which are revealed by a language and the way it is spoken. I really want to get a history book and read about how undeveloped Cambodia must have been in the 1850s before the French came. They must have had absolutely nothing because even very basic words were French

Newspaper and magazine are both French words. So, this would suggest that they must not have had either before the French came. The word for air-conditioner is MACHINE DRAWJACK, which literally translates as COLD MACHINE. Now this isn’t too far off. A lot of languages use the word machine for every single apparatus. In Chinese and Thai, and even in Italian, machine is everything, from a camera to an airplane. But the frightening thing is that Khmer uses the French word for machine. So does this mean that they didn’t have any machines before the French came?

During vocabulary lessons I am staggered at the number of foreign words, which the Khmers use.

“Gi that is the Khmer word for ride, like ride a horse,” said my teacher.
“No, actually Gi is the Chinese word for ride,” I pointed out.
“Rot that is the Khmer word for car.”
“No, that is the Thai word for car.”
“Aleman is the Khmer word for German.”
“No, it is the French word for German.”

Incidentally, aleman was also the word for Germany, German language, and German people. And even when they are speaking English, Khmers can’t be bothered to learn an adjective form, a noun form, and separate forms for people and countries. Instead they just say “He comes from German.” That is, unless they say “He comes from aleman.”

Learning the Khmer language helps me to interpret their unique brand of English. Recently everyone was coming up to me saying “Happy merry Christmas.” I couldn’t figure out why they did that. So I asked my teacher how to say Christmas in Khmer.
“Buon Noel.” She answered.
It made sense that they used the French word, because they definitely didn’t have Christmas before the French came.
“But buon noel is merry Christmas.” I pointed out. “I just wanted the noun, you know, Christmas.”
Of course she answers, “Yes,” followed by “Christmas is buonnoel.”
What I guessed was that they had adopted the French word for merry Christmas to mean just Christmas. But they couldn’t just walk up to you and wish you a Christmas so they then translated their word for happy, and voila “happy merry Christmas.”

Some other theories I came up with may have been a stretch. For example, the word for tourist is DESKJA. And I really have to wonder if it was some bastardization of the word desk job. Maybe when the first tourists came here in the early seventies, the Khmers asked them “why are you here?” And the tourists answered something like, “Oh I have an awful desk job. And I am trying to escape.” Or maybe when the Khmers asked them what they did at home, they said “I am an advertising executive.” or “I deal in collateralized mortgage securities.” And when the Khmers didn’t hear, “I am a farmer, a doctor, or a school teacher,” they would just say, oh, “DESKJOB.”

Where learning to speak had been interesting, and gave me little cultural tidbits to mull over at night, learning to read and write is a nightmare.

When you start going to school, determined only to learn a little speaking and listening, they slowly turn the sales screws, until they got you coming to school three hours per day, seven days per week. Then, just when you think they couldn’t bleed one more dollar out of you, they talk you into learning to read and write. They lure you in, telling you “It’s easy, try it.” You believe you’re as smart as the average Khmer. And over seventy percent of them can read and write. So, what the heck? I signed up for reading and writing, and I paid my money.

On the first day, the teacher showed me an alphabet chart and said. “You see how simple? This is how small children learn. Each letter has a picture of an animal next to it. So, if you can’t remember how that letter sounds, just look at the picture.”

“That is easy.” I agreed. “So, this W-looking letter, next to the picture of a pig makes a P sound?”
She frowned. “Well, no. It makes a J sound, because pig in Khmer is JEROUK.”
Duh! Now I felt stupid. Of course it would be the sound, according to the Khmer animals names. Ok, no sweat. I figured first thing I would do is just make a list of the animals, and memorize their names. Starting at the top of the chart, I said “OK, pig?”
“Jerouk,” answered the teacher.
“Cat?”
“Chma.”
“Horse?”
“Sae.”
But then I hit a stump. The next picture was of a gold-colored devil-man, with a sword. “What is this one?” I asked.
The teacher said some Khmer word, which meant nothing to me.
“No, I mean what is it in English?”
“Don’t you know?” She asked, confused. “I thought you were American.”
“I am, but we don’t have golden dragon demons in Brooklyn. So, we don’t really have a name for them.”
We skipped that one. The next one was a picture of a little girl. “What is this one?”
“Tida.” She answered. “Oh, Tida means little girl?”
“No, that is her name?”
“How does one know that that girl is named Tida?” I asked, thinking maybe she was a famous Khmer cartoon character or something.
“It says Tida here.” She said, pointing at the Khmer letters under the girl.
“But if you couldn’t read, you wouldn’t know that, would you?” I asked.
“Yes.” She said. And we continued.
Next, there was a picture of a fruit. “And what is this?” I asked.
“You don’t know?”
“No, in Brooklyn our fruits tend to be very empirical, apple, banana, orange…What the hell is this thing?” I was beginning to lose my patience.
“The New Zealand students know what that one is.” My teacher said, with a chastising voice.
“Oh yeah, well New Zealand isn’t an adjective.”
“What is the adjective for students from New Zealand?” She asked. Was it New Zealander students? Or, was New Zealand students correct? Now I was stumped on a question in English. My brain was short-circuiting. How the hell did they expect me to learn to read these ancient scribbles that they called an alphabet?
“All the New Zealand people know this one.” She repeated.
“Well, hurray for New Zealand!” I shouted. “It’s a tropical country. They probably eat this fruit everyday for breakfast. But I have never seen one before.” The same was true of the next four fruits, all of which, allegedly, New Zealanders would know.
“Why do New Zealands know so many more fruits than people from American? Are the schools better in New Zealand?”
“No, its because we spent our free-time creating the first modern democracy, while New Zealand was happy to be the British colony with the largest fruit vocabulary.”

Now I was angry at New Zealand! Normally I didn’t even have an opinion on that country that I always confused with Australia. But on that day, I wanted to get in a boxing ring with them, all twenty-five of them, or whatever the laughable population of New Zealand was.

“Maybe you should have learned more fruits.” Suggested my teacher.
“Yeah, maybe. I mean I’d definitely trade my right to vote for greater fruit identification.” Actually, thinking back on the latest US presidential election, that might not have been a bad trade. The next five or six pictures were large, flightless waterfowl.
“Pigeons, I have only seen pigeons.” I told her.
“Pigeon is the only bird you know?” Asked my teacher in the same empathetic voice you would ask “And the doctor really said you only have six months to live?” She felt sorry for me.
“I know some other birds.” I amended. “There was a toucan on my breakfast cereal.” Unfortunately, toucan didn’t come up, oddly, either did penguin. Luckily the new Zealanders didn’t know those birds either. Abandoning the alphabet chart, I asked “In just what way is this language easy to read and write?”
“First off it is written left to right.” Answered my teacher.
Well that was good. When I opened my book, I just saw a huge jumble of characters, written all the way across the page. “That is the longest word I’ve ever seen.” I said.

In Thailand some words were so long I couldn’t even begin to pronounce them. My best friend’s name had about fifty characters in it. I still call him by only the first three. And we have known each other for nearly a year!

“That’s not a word.” Said my teacher, momentarily putting my mind at ease. “It is a sentence.”
“But then why is it all written together like that?” “In Khmer we don’t separate words.”
What a nice system. “Why are some letters floating in the air like that?” I asked.
“Those are vowels.”
“I thought you wrote left to right.”
“We do. But some vowels are written on top.”
“Some?”
“Yes, some are written under, and some are written before. And some are written after or around a word.” Of course, boy! this does sound easy.
“It’s easy compared to learning Chinese.” She pointed out. That was true. And that was why I could speak Chinese well, but I gave up on reading and writing after about a month.
“How many characters are there in Chinese?” She asked.
“Tens, maybe even hundreds of thousands.”
“And how many do you need to read a news paper?”
“About 1,500.”
“And to finish university?”
“At least 2,500.”
“OK,” She said triumphantly. “Khmer only has 33 consonants.”
“33 letters, oh, that is easy. Where do I sign up?” But that’s how they get you. Looking at the chart, I counted the 33 consonants, my teacher had told me about. But then, I noticed all this mess at the bottom. “What’s all that?” I asked.
“Those are the vowels.” She said, a little embarrassed that I had caught her in a near-lie.
“I thought you said there were only 33 letters.”
“No, 33 consonants. But, obviously you also need vowels.”
“Obviously.” I agreed. “So, how many are there?”
“Twenty three.” So, fifty-six letters. Yikes! That was a lot. But ok, at least it was a finite number. With Chinese you can’t even write your name with 56 letters. In fact I knew about two hundred characters before I learned to write my name. And I still do it wrong sometimes. The first word I read was composed of two characters. There was a consonant GA and vowel A. “GA” I read, proudly.
“Very good.” said my teacher. This is going to be easy. I thought. The next word was consonant KA and vowel A. “Ka.”
“Good!”
Next was consonant GO and vowel A. “Goa?” I guessed.
“No, GEA.” Corrected my teacher.
“Why GEA?”
“There are two kinds of consonants, those with A sounds and those with O sounds. We call them big and little consonants. If a vowel occurs after an A sound it has the sound you are familiar with. But if it occurs after an O sound, it changes.”
“So, there are 23 vowels, but each one has two sounds?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“So, there are 46 vowels?” She looked at me blankly. “I never thought about it that way, but yes, I guess so.”
I was beginning to hate the Khmer language. So, we had 33 consonants and 46 vowels, 79 letters. Annoying, yes, but ok. I could do it. I had a Khmer friend named Klack who wasn’t too sharp. He told me the reason I wore glasses was because I was demon possessed, and the proof that there were demons in my house was that I had a bookshelf. And everyone knows how much demons like to collect on shelves. “Do you know why Khmers don’t have book shelves?” he asked.
“Because they don’t read?” I surmised.
“No, because of the demons.” Klak answered.
Well, in the end, I figured, if Klak were smart enough to read Khmer, so was I.

The next word that we studied was the pronoun I, which in Khmer is knyom. It seemed to consist only of one letter, Ka. “But where is the yom sound?” I asked.
“The yom sound comes from these subscripts under the word.” Explained my teacher.
It turned out that each consonant could be converted into a subscript, which appeared below the word, and added phonemes. Once again 33 consonants meant 33 subscripts. So, now 79 plus 33, now we had 122 characters. I wanted my money back. But we wouldn’t learn how to say that until chapter ten. And by then it would be too late.

The next word we learned was the pronoun HE, which I knew was guat. It was no surprise that guat was both HE and SHE. That is very common in many languages. So, the pronunciation and usage of the word was nothing special. But the writing, of course, left me looking for some razor blades, so I could cut my wrists.

Guat had a ga sound, and ended in a ja sound. That didn’t exactly make sense to me. But Khmer, like Thai, doesn’t have a lot of harsh terminal consonants. A and K, J and T may sound the same to our ears. In fact, that is why when Khmers speak English you don’t know if they are offering you milk or meal. The two words would be pronounced the same. Rice, ride, and right are also pronounced identically. As it is rare that someone would offer you meal with your coffee, the milk/meal controversy is easily remedied by context. But when a girl asks you to Write her, buy you understand RIDE, the results could be catastrophic.

I just realized I am on my second paragraph, writing about the experience of learning the word HE in Khmer. What other language is so complicated that learning a single word would need two paragraphs? I mean I could barely make a sentence about learning the word HE in Spanish.

“The teacher said HE is el.”
OOOOh! That’s riveting. What an interesting story.

Guat ended in a JAW sound. But it was pronounced with a harsh T. So, “Where does the harsh T come from?” I asked my teacher.
“It comes from this symbol here.” She pointed at two dots over the final consonant.
“Symbol?”
“Yes, symbols occur over words, and they change the sound of the consonants.”
“Over the words? I asked, skeptically.
“Well, also under words.”
I was too mentally exhausted to shout AH HA! But trust me, I was thinking it. “And just how many of these symbols are there?”
Oh,” She said, looking reflectively. Then after too long a pause, “about ten.” She answered.
“About, you mean you aren’t sure?”
"Yes.” She said.
The only consistency in the Khmer language seemed to be that my teacher always said “yes.” Would you like a knuckle sandwich? Yes. So we were up to 122 characters. Now, we had ten more so 122. And those ten symbols changed the sounds of all the consonants, so maybe we had 155 phonemes to remember.
“And that’s it?” I asked, not believing it myself.
“Well, also dependent and independent vowels.” When I asked how many, she just laughed at me.

Because I quit learning to read Chinese, and I quit learning to read Thai, I am determined to stick it out with Khmer. But it just seams so hopeless and silly. There are almost no websites in Khmer. You can’t send SMS on a cell phone with Khmer. There are almost no books written in Khmer, and certainly none that I would want to read. The only thing you could do with written Khmer is write a letter. But of course the houses have no addresses. And the post office is just a false front for a huge theft machine. So the letter wouldn’t get there anyway. And even if I chose to write to one of only 13,000,000 Khmers, there is a 38% probability that he couldn’t read.

So, why am I learning to read and write Khmer? I am learning so it will be easier when I go back to a temple to learn to read and write Thai-ai, a language spoken only in the Shan State of Burma. Is that stupid? Yes, it is insane. But if I wasn’t so wrapped up with learning obscure languages maybe I would fall in with bad company, join a gang, and get into trouble.

If the nuns could see me now… At catholic school I refused to decline even a single French verb. Now, I sit for hours a day, learning to write this bizarre and useless language, based on ancient Pali, of India.

In all honesty, given the difficulties which Khmers and foreigners alike have with the language, I really think Vietnam and Indonesia have the right idea by using the Latin alphabet. The Chinese and Thais claim that they can’t switch to Latin because their language is tonal, and there would be too many completely different words with the exact same spelling. But Khmer doesn’t have this issue.

Anyway, as soon as I can write Khmer I am planning to write a letter to King Sihamouni to outline my reasons why I think they should Latinize.

Until then, I guess I am relegated to sitting in my dark little classroom, with a sixty-watt light bulb, matching Khmer letters with colorful pictures of animals and fruits, which only New Zealanders could identify.