Saturday, August 05, 2006
Bigger Picture
Haha! Mood swing again. Swinging from one end to another. But one thing I learn when I have mood swing is that the best person to talk to is God. Just lament to Him, complain to Him, whine to Him, pour out to Him. And He never ever stop listening. He neither sleep nor slumber. And at the end of 'throwing the little tantrum', He will console and comfort and somehow or rather, you will find a way. Thank you Lord! I feel so much better when He enlightened me with what He has for me! Just like the previous post I've mentioned abt not looking left nor right but look unto God, when we focus our sight on Him, He will direct us and show us the way. Praise be to our God!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Deja Vu
Once again! That same whole plot that happen the beginning of last year is unveiled once again! Though I haven't tested to confirm my suspicion, but my sensing is so strong! My senses are usually very accurate. I thought only such things happen in drama series. But yet it happens in my life. And not once but i believe the sequel is abt to unfold! Why! Is this some kind of joke! Why! Why! Why! I dun know how to react! I simply just keep mum and see the whole 'show' as one of the audience. Maybe it will feel better! Maybe it will feel worse! I dun know!
Lord! Not now! Not the same thing! I dun think I can go thru it again! It's too much pain and hurt! But yet not my will but Yours be done! Amen!
Lord! Not now! Not the same thing! I dun think I can go thru it again! It's too much pain and hurt! But yet not my will but Yours be done! Amen!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Simple Faith!
A sister-in-Christ of mine send this story to me! As I read this story, my heart was touched! It really keep me thinking about my faith! Sometimes, I just complicate my faith with all my principles, my expectations, the way of the world! This man's faith was just so simple. Everything and anything, he just look up unto Him! Even in times of hardships and pain, he found comfort and joy in Him! May our faith be as simple and innocent!
By the altar
By the altar
>> >> A minister passing through his church
>> in the middle of the day,
>> decided to pause by the altar
>> and see who had come to pray.
>> Just then the back door opened,
>> a man came down the aisle.
>> The minister frowned as he saw
>> the man hadn't shaved in a while.
>> His shirt was kind a shabby
>> and his coat was worn and frayed,
>> the man knelt, he bowed hishead,
>> Then rose and walked away.
>> In the days that followed,
>> each noon time came this chap,
>> each time he knelt just for a moment,
>> a lunch pail in his lap.
>> Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
>> with robbery a main fear,
>> He decided to stop the man and ask him,
>> "What are you doing here?"
>> The old man said, he worked down the road.
>> Lunch was half an hour.
>> Lunchtime was his prayer time,
>> For finding strength and power,
>> "I stay only moments,
>> because the factory is so far away;
>> as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
>> This is kind a what I say:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
>> HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
>> AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
>> DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
>> BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
>> SO JESUS, THIS IS JIM
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> The minister feeling foolish,
>> told Jim that was fine.
>> He told the man he was welcome
>> To come and pray just anytime.
>> Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks."
>> He hurried to the door.
>> The minister knelt at the altar,
>> he'd never done it before.
>> His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
>> and met with Jesus there.
>> As the tears flowed, in his heart,
>> he repeated old Jim's prayer:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
>> HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
>> AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
>> DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
>> BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
>> SO JESUS, THIS IS ME
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> >> >> Past noon one day, the minister noticed
>> that old Jim hadn't come.
>> As more days passed without Jim,
>> he began to worry some.
>> At the factory, he asked about him,
>> learning he was ill..
>> The hospital staff was worried,
>> But he'd given them a thrill.
>> The week that Jim was with them,
>> Brought changes in the ward.
>> His smiles, a joy contagious.
>> Changed people, were his reward.
>> The head nurse couldn't understand
>> why Jim was so glad,
>> when no flowers, calls or cards came,
>> Not a visitor he had.
>> The minister stayed by his bed,
>> He voiced the nurse's concern:
>> No friends came to show they cared.
>> He had nowhere to turn.
>> Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
>> up and with a winsome smile;
>> "the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
>> that in here all the while
>> everyday at noon He's here,
>> a dear friend of mine, you see,
>> He sits right down, takes my hand,
>> Leans over and says to me:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU JIM,
>> HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
>> AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
>> ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
>> I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
>> AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> >> If this blesses you, pass it on. Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you. But for those of us who are already His, He not >> only holds us in the palm of His hand, but has engraved our names there, and we are continually in His sight (Isaiah 49:16) Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones. If you aren't ashamed. Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me," I will be ashamed of you before my Father." If you are not ashamed, pass this on . But only if you mean it. Yes, I do love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing but with Him "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." (Phil 4:13) This is too good not to share - SO THIS IS ME. JUST CHECKING IN...
By the altar
By the altar
>> >> A minister passing through his church
>> in the middle of the day,
>> decided to pause by the altar
>> and see who had come to pray.
>> Just then the back door opened,
>> a man came down the aisle.
>> The minister frowned as he saw
>> the man hadn't shaved in a while.
>> His shirt was kind a shabby
>> and his coat was worn and frayed,
>> the man knelt, he bowed hishead,
>> Then rose and walked away.
>> In the days that followed,
>> each noon time came this chap,
>> each time he knelt just for a moment,
>> a lunch pail in his lap.
>> Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
>> with robbery a main fear,
>> He decided to stop the man and ask him,
>> "What are you doing here?"
>> The old man said, he worked down the road.
>> Lunch was half an hour.
>> Lunchtime was his prayer time,
>> For finding strength and power,
>> "I stay only moments,
>> because the factory is so far away;
>> as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
>> This is kind a what I say:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
>> HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
>> AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
>> DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
>> BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
>> SO JESUS, THIS IS JIM
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> The minister feeling foolish,
>> told Jim that was fine.
>> He told the man he was welcome
>> To come and pray just anytime.
>> Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks."
>> He hurried to the door.
>> The minister knelt at the altar,
>> he'd never done it before.
>> His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
>> and met with Jesus there.
>> As the tears flowed, in his heart,
>> he repeated old Jim's prayer:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
>> HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
>> AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
>> DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
>> BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
>> SO JESUS, THIS IS ME
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> >> >> Past noon one day, the minister noticed
>> that old Jim hadn't come.
>> As more days passed without Jim,
>> he began to worry some.
>> At the factory, he asked about him,
>> learning he was ill..
>> The hospital staff was worried,
>> But he'd given them a thrill.
>> The week that Jim was with them,
>> Brought changes in the ward.
>> His smiles, a joy contagious.
>> Changed people, were his reward.
>> The head nurse couldn't understand
>> why Jim was so glad,
>> when no flowers, calls or cards came,
>> Not a visitor he had.
>> The minister stayed by his bed,
>> He voiced the nurse's concern:
>> No friends came to show they cared.
>> He had nowhere to turn.
>> Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
>> up and with a winsome smile;
>> "the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
>> that in here all the while
>> everyday at noon He's here,
>> a dear friend of mine, you see,
>> He sits right down, takes my hand,
>> Leans over and says to me:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU JIM,
>> HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
>> AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
>> ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
>> I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
>> AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> >> If this blesses you, pass it on. Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you. But for those of us who are already His, He not >> only holds us in the palm of His hand, but has engraved our names there, and we are continually in His sight (Isaiah 49:16) Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones. If you aren't ashamed. Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me," I will be ashamed of you before my Father." If you are not ashamed, pass this on . But only if you mean it. Yes, I do love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing but with Him "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." (Phil 4:13) This is too good not to share - SO THIS IS ME. JUST CHECKING IN...
Sunday, July 30, 2006
LONELY, I'm MR LONELY
haha! I'm sure the Title has caught everybody's attention! And if you are expecting some 'juicy' information, haha, maybe next time!
Suddenly, this sense of loneliness start to dwell in me! Not an emptiness yearning for the other-half and neither is it becoz of lack of friends. It's the feeling that in the future, God may send me to somewhere for His work and it means leaving my comfort zone and m friends and to start afresh in a new environment, new culture..... In the past, when I went to Cambodia for Mission works, i was always full of enthuasism. Never have I once felt that sense of 'loneliness'. In fact, i was more happy and willingly to want to stay for longer period of time. I actually contemplated to stay for at least a month in Cambodia after my studies. That was a year back. But suddenly the thought of such plan, brought shivers to me. The thought of living alone(the only singaporean). The thought of away from home and friends. The thought of adjusting to the new environment and culture. The thought of having to find a purpose in the midst of such 'confusion'. What was i thinking? Was that thought just purely that instantaneous enthuasism which has died down now? Nope! I always have the passion for the Khmers. Then why am i feeling so uneasy? For a while, i have been thinking through and talking to God! And I start to realise it's a form of molding for me. I'm still not sure if God will call me into the Mission field in the future but if He does, I will be more ready and prepared to face with the reality of the changes. And most importantly, my security is in Him alone! May we have the same purpose in life and where You call us, we will follow You! Amen!
(p.s attached the song Lonely, I'm Mr lonely! Enjoy it! Though couldn't find the chipmunks version)
Suddenly, this sense of loneliness start to dwell in me! Not an emptiness yearning for the other-half and neither is it becoz of lack of friends. It's the feeling that in the future, God may send me to somewhere for His work and it means leaving my comfort zone and m friends and to start afresh in a new environment, new culture..... In the past, when I went to Cambodia for Mission works, i was always full of enthuasism. Never have I once felt that sense of 'loneliness'. In fact, i was more happy and willingly to want to stay for longer period of time. I actually contemplated to stay for at least a month in Cambodia after my studies. That was a year back. But suddenly the thought of such plan, brought shivers to me. The thought of living alone(the only singaporean). The thought of away from home and friends. The thought of adjusting to the new environment and culture. The thought of having to find a purpose in the midst of such 'confusion'. What was i thinking? Was that thought just purely that instantaneous enthuasism which has died down now? Nope! I always have the passion for the Khmers. Then why am i feeling so uneasy? For a while, i have been thinking through and talking to God! And I start to realise it's a form of molding for me. I'm still not sure if God will call me into the Mission field in the future but if He does, I will be more ready and prepared to face with the reality of the changes. And most importantly, my security is in Him alone! May we have the same purpose in life and where You call us, we will follow You! Amen!
(p.s attached the song Lonely, I'm Mr lonely! Enjoy it! Though couldn't find the chipmunks version)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
FOUND
This is way overdued. I shd have said this a long time ago. But I simply procrastinated. Sorry Lord! Thank You so much for allowing my wallet to be found. If you all still remember, I mentioned before that I had lost my wallet. It was like more than a month ago. And honestly, though hopefully, I thought that it was going to be an expensive lesson. I lost my IC, Student Card, Driving Licence (these 3 cards will cost me up to $180 in total to replace), Debit card and EZ-link card. And thankfully I didn't immediately make a replacement as I didn't had the $$$! In fact was doing my sums on my next month allowance. And den after such a long time, the wallet was found. Somebody had thrown it into the PO Box! The letter with the wallet was send to my house on last thursday, 20 July, and I was out that day. My mum received the registered letter and gave me a call. When I heard what she described of the letter, suddenly I became very estactic. I told her to open the letter to see if it was my wallet. And true enough, it was! I was so full of praise for God! There's nothing I can say to describe how wonderful He is! Praise be to God, the Almighty one.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
NO LEFT or RIGHT TURN! FORWARD
It seems like everybody is speculating! That's what I was fearful of! Becoz it means nothing constructive to me but just unnecessary pressure! But then I'm glad that their speculation is a step behind me! So it's pretty irrelevant! Haha! Try harder people! Be surprised becoz even I myself may be surprised!
Today, Pastor Edwin was talking along this verse, "if the Lord speaks (reprimand) to us, do not harden our hearts." He gave 3 ways to allow us not to have a harden heart but a soft and tender heart. Firstly is to build our faith in God's past providence. Secondly is to build our trust in God's faithfulness in our present providence. And thirdly, hmmmm didn't quite catch that one! I was lost in my own thoughts and the Lord is speaking to me. God is reprimanding me about certain issues in my life and I have to say, I chose to harden my heart and ignore Him. And God really spoke into my heart and I felt convicted that I have taken His grace for granted. And another thing I was concerned abt was my future- my carreer in particular. After I reconciled with God personally, I went up for altar call to be prayed for in this area. Wing Hong and Robert prayed for me. And I really thank God for speaking thru them. From the start till to end, they pray nothing abt asking God to show me what career I shoud go into. They simply prayed along asking me to place my trust and faith in God's providence of my future career, partner, etc. And they sayed the same thing to me which gave me a really wake up call. Don't look to the Left, Don't look to Right! Look towards God! I guess many a times, that's what I have been doing. I doubt and I seek '2nd opinion'. I trust in my own judgement, feelings, expectations, other people's expectation then in God's choice. He chose me, He knows me the best, He will choose the best for me! Career, partner.... All these are merely ways for me to serve You in a greater way and to give You glory. So whatever it is, whoever she is, I know You have the best for me. May I not look to the left nor right but look to You! Amen!
Today, Pastor Edwin was talking along this verse, "if the Lord speaks (reprimand) to us, do not harden our hearts." He gave 3 ways to allow us not to have a harden heart but a soft and tender heart. Firstly is to build our faith in God's past providence. Secondly is to build our trust in God's faithfulness in our present providence. And thirdly, hmmmm didn't quite catch that one! I was lost in my own thoughts and the Lord is speaking to me. God is reprimanding me about certain issues in my life and I have to say, I chose to harden my heart and ignore Him. And God really spoke into my heart and I felt convicted that I have taken His grace for granted. And another thing I was concerned abt was my future- my carreer in particular. After I reconciled with God personally, I went up for altar call to be prayed for in this area. Wing Hong and Robert prayed for me. And I really thank God for speaking thru them. From the start till to end, they pray nothing abt asking God to show me what career I shoud go into. They simply prayed along asking me to place my trust and faith in God's providence of my future career, partner, etc. And they sayed the same thing to me which gave me a really wake up call. Don't look to the Left, Don't look to Right! Look towards God! I guess many a times, that's what I have been doing. I doubt and I seek '2nd opinion'. I trust in my own judgement, feelings, expectations, other people's expectation then in God's choice. He chose me, He knows me the best, He will choose the best for me! Career, partner.... All these are merely ways for me to serve You in a greater way and to give You glory. So whatever it is, whoever she is, I know You have the best for me. May I not look to the left nor right but look to You! Amen!
Friday, July 14, 2006
Time to PLAY
Well! Today went to SAC New Sanctuary to watch this musical play put up by the youths from Church of Our Good Shepherd! It is entitled "Storm in a fishbowl" I must really say they put in a very good effort! I have heard they had some very 'last minute' preparations. But I could see that they were pretty comfortable in their roles. I won't go into details of the play but I must say i really enjoyed it! (usually i'm quite demanding and critical) And as the play ended, I just sensed the Lord bringing up an 'old' issue which was left untouched. I was inspired to do up plays quite a while ago. I guess it could be the influence from writing and directing the mime for the Mission Trip we had 2 years back! Though at the time I felt that inspiration to start a play, I never got down to doing it. I believe I was not ready and the timing was not right! And even now as the Lord brought this issue back, I am really enthusiatic but at the same time, I know that I had to be in tuned with God and not simply just following that 'feeling'. Somehow or rather, the 1st question that the Lord posed to me was "How do I rally the youths(christians) to invite their non-believing friends?" Many a times, when such evangelistic outreach is carried out, most of the audience are Christians themselves. Little had invited non-believing friends (well maybe they did invite but their friends turn them down) I always feel that we as Christians are not mentally and spirtually prepared for such outreach. Mentally as in having the courage to pop the invitation question for fear of rejection, discrimination. Spiritually as in trusting in God and praying feverently for the non-believers! So I guess that's the first issue the Lord has revealed to me to tackle. And then I saw a picture of corns. I must be hungry till i'm hallucinating. Nope! I had an over-caloried McDonald meal! The picture reminded me of this verse: "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 24:12
And I sense the Lord telling me that we Christians must really die to ourselves or else nothing will bear out of us! Unless we die and allow Jesus to enter, we will just bear our own 'fruits'. I'm not sure how the Lord wants me to deal with this issue but one thing I know I must do, PRAY!
When this issue is dealt with, then will I move into the real evangelistic outreach! I would really love to have a musical play which will touch many people's hearts. Imagine a stadium of audience, many of whom who had not heard about Christ, raising their hands in response to the call from God! Indeed, a revival! That's the vision but I will rather not go so far to talk about it. There must be a revival in our own life first. The light from a light-tower which is not visible can never direct any ship! Until we ourselves are light up, then can we shine forth to the others! So my prayer to all those who are like-minded and holds a common goal, let's us first renew ourselves in Christ and in unision, pray for God's work to be done!
And I sense the Lord telling me that we Christians must really die to ourselves or else nothing will bear out of us! Unless we die and allow Jesus to enter, we will just bear our own 'fruits'. I'm not sure how the Lord wants me to deal with this issue but one thing I know I must do, PRAY!
When this issue is dealt with, then will I move into the real evangelistic outreach! I would really love to have a musical play which will touch many people's hearts. Imagine a stadium of audience, many of whom who had not heard about Christ, raising their hands in response to the call from God! Indeed, a revival! That's the vision but I will rather not go so far to talk about it. There must be a revival in our own life first. The light from a light-tower which is not visible can never direct any ship! Until we ourselves are light up, then can we shine forth to the others! So my prayer to all those who are like-minded and holds a common goal, let's us first renew ourselves in Christ and in unision, pray for God's work to be done!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
SBC4SY
The new SBC4SY is starting soon. THis time round we'll be taking some of Paul's letter to study. 4 letters - Thessalonians, Ephesians, Corinthians, Galatians! Do not miss this upcoming journey with Paul! And i really like the flyer front page. I designed it! Haha!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The Little Boy.... in Her Eyes!
I guess i'm getting a hangover from watching the World Cup Final! I think I'm getting too old for all this overnight stuff! Cannot 'thong' like before. Like during last chalet, i just couldn't tahan thru both nite. And during the Final, I slept thru from 2nd half till before the start of penalty shoot-out and went home at 5.30am and slept till 2pm. Oh gosh! Den this morning, suppose to wake up at 8am but i could only drag myself out of bed at 9.30am. Jia lat lah! Didn't do much in the morning but just stare at the PC. After which at about 1pm, decided to go play basketball. I need to burn the spare tyre! Haha! So was changing and wearing my contacts. Den realise that my vision was very blur! Try dripping but didn't get clearer. Could be the lens. So i tried to remove them. To my horror, i couldnt' remove it. I tried many times but it doesn't come out. It was stucked to my eye ball! ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I was panicking but i told myself to calm down. So with my last attempt, I had to 'dig' out the lens. Thank God! It came out! To my shock, the lens had warped at the circrumference. It was the same for the other lens. Thankfully i didn't carry on wearing it or else any longer, i may need to be sent to ICU. So change to my last new pair of lens. Haiz! Have to spend money to buy new sets. Play basketball for 1 1/2 hour den went home, washed up and started to play Winning Elven on my laptop. So difficult to play. My player totally cannot run den keep losing ball control. Played 2 matches, lose both matches. Gave up!
Ok back to my main topic. The Little Boy in Her Eyes! Well if you are smart enough, yes the small boy is referring to me. Ok! Stop teasing me! The word 'small' is not in reference to my size. And Her is referring.... to.... My MUM! I decided to write this as a tribute to my mum and also all the mums in the world!
"Your room is like a pig sty!" "Why can't you just put your laundry in the basket?" "No! You can't stay over!" "Can you eat your vegetables!" "Nag! Nag!Nag!Nag!" Does that sound familiar? Or you have worst senarios! Haha! Whatever it is, this is definitely an undisputable character found in most Mum. Am i contradicting myself? 'Tribute' and the first thing i talk about Mum is their invincible Gift. Haha! Nope! It's just that I feel that's one thing that most of us will identify with. I never love and enjoyed when my mum spend so much time nagging at me. Even till this day! She still nags at me on my room! Yes! No doubt it's a pig sty but that's me! I know it's a lousy excuse. I do truly need to learn to be tidy (ever more so if i want to get married!) And the nagging really kinda spoil the day! But I will always remind myself of one thing - she did it out of concern! Really! If you think about it, who on earth will be so busy body and go around minding every business of yours! She don't get anything out of it (in fact most of the time, she gets our curses and 'dirty' stare) It is purely out of a motherly love but just that no mum is perfect. Their expression of love may at times be 'tainted' with frustration, impatience, hopelessness and other things. As I remember this, everyttime my mum nags at me (i'm 25 ok), the feeling is still sucky, but I will always look at the positive side of her comment!
I must really thank God for choosing her to be my mum. Yes, no doubt she is never the perfect mum, she is not very affectionate, she is naggy, she is back-dated, she is incoherent at times, she buys Toto and 4D, she is easily deceived but her faith in God is the thing that kept the family going. She may not be very strong in God's word but she just simply know how to hang onto God. She took up the responsibilty to bring back the bread when my father decided to 'retire'. She took care of the family needs and chores one handedly. She make sure her children gets the best she could give and yet she herself, she is thrifty and would never spend what she don't really need. And i have to say my dad doesn't treat my mum that well and honestly, if it was some other woman, they would have left him. But she hold on because for her children sake! When i was young, I wondered why she just hold on! It's because of God! She knows that God is in control, even when times are not smooth. She pointed to God and her children had known God through her. I'm not sure about your mum! She may be the perfect mum or she may be one whom you have a hard time with! Whatever it is, in them is that motherly love! It will never change. Do take time to know and appreciate them. When was the last time you held her hands? Go hold her hands and feel the 'tracks' of hardships and the 'weathering' of ages. When was the last time you gave her a peck on her cheek? Give a goodnite kiss and see how much it surprises her. Treasure those who are around you! For in this world, nothing will last! Only Love will!
Ok back to my main topic. The Little Boy in Her Eyes! Well if you are smart enough, yes the small boy is referring to me. Ok! Stop teasing me! The word 'small' is not in reference to my size. And Her is referring.... to.... My MUM! I decided to write this as a tribute to my mum and also all the mums in the world!
"Your room is like a pig sty!" "Why can't you just put your laundry in the basket?" "No! You can't stay over!" "Can you eat your vegetables!" "Nag! Nag!Nag!Nag!" Does that sound familiar? Or you have worst senarios! Haha! Whatever it is, this is definitely an undisputable character found in most Mum. Am i contradicting myself? 'Tribute' and the first thing i talk about Mum is their invincible Gift. Haha! Nope! It's just that I feel that's one thing that most of us will identify with. I never love and enjoyed when my mum spend so much time nagging at me. Even till this day! She still nags at me on my room! Yes! No doubt it's a pig sty but that's me! I know it's a lousy excuse. I do truly need to learn to be tidy (ever more so if i want to get married!) And the nagging really kinda spoil the day! But I will always remind myself of one thing - she did it out of concern! Really! If you think about it, who on earth will be so busy body and go around minding every business of yours! She don't get anything out of it (in fact most of the time, she gets our curses and 'dirty' stare) It is purely out of a motherly love but just that no mum is perfect. Their expression of love may at times be 'tainted' with frustration, impatience, hopelessness and other things. As I remember this, everyttime my mum nags at me (i'm 25 ok), the feeling is still sucky, but I will always look at the positive side of her comment!
I must really thank God for choosing her to be my mum. Yes, no doubt she is never the perfect mum, she is not very affectionate, she is naggy, she is back-dated, she is incoherent at times, she buys Toto and 4D, she is easily deceived but her faith in God is the thing that kept the family going. She may not be very strong in God's word but she just simply know how to hang onto God. She took up the responsibilty to bring back the bread when my father decided to 'retire'. She took care of the family needs and chores one handedly. She make sure her children gets the best she could give and yet she herself, she is thrifty and would never spend what she don't really need. And i have to say my dad doesn't treat my mum that well and honestly, if it was some other woman, they would have left him. But she hold on because for her children sake! When i was young, I wondered why she just hold on! It's because of God! She knows that God is in control, even when times are not smooth. She pointed to God and her children had known God through her. I'm not sure about your mum! She may be the perfect mum or she may be one whom you have a hard time with! Whatever it is, in them is that motherly love! It will never change. Do take time to know and appreciate them. When was the last time you held her hands? Go hold her hands and feel the 'tracks' of hardships and the 'weathering' of ages. When was the last time you gave her a peck on her cheek? Give a goodnite kiss and see how much it surprises her. Treasure those who are around you! For in this world, nothing will last! Only Love will!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Youth Sunday (2 July 2006)
THis sunday is Youth Sunday. Most of the youths have been preparing for this sunday. Instead of the usual group of people serving in church, the youths have come together to help run the Sunday Svc. Helping out in ushering, logistics and even in Worship. Had Darren to co-lead with me and some of the other youths to help out in muscian. WEnt pretty smoothly! Den had Xu En, Xin Ling, Ting2 to lead and co-lead at the Chinese COngregation. We did up 2 banners for this Sunday but dun have the foto to put up. Then after church, went to Sakura to have lunch. After lunch, went to AHS to prepare for the soccer and captain's ball match between the youths and the adults. Below are some fotos! Enjoy them!
PLACE YOUR CURSOR ON THE FOTOS TO READ CAPTION!
TO READ THE NEXT FOTO'S CAPTION, MOVE CURSOR AWAY AND ONTO THE FOTO!
Serene: Ai yoh! Johnny! Somebody 'bio-ing' me!
Johnny: Diao si mi diao! Look at my wife somemore, I make sure you become this pizza!
PLACE YOUR CURSOR ON THE FOTOS TO READ CAPTION!
TO READ THE NEXT FOTO'S CAPTION, MOVE CURSOR AWAY AND ONTO THE FOTO!
Serene: Ai yoh! Johnny! Somebody 'bio-ing' me!
Johnny: Diao si mi diao! Look at my wife somemore, I make sure you become this pizza!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
近朱者赤， 近墨者黑
Hmmm! This is one of the things that have been dwelling on my mind for quite a while. In fact, it's more like it has been disturbing me greatly. Well, for those who are familiar with the chinese idiom, you will know that it means if you mingle with good influence, you will be positively influenced and if you mingle with the wrong company, you will be influenced in that way. Maybe I am just being the very conservative and the less gracious self. I don't know but my heart and my spirit doesn't feel right and I just want to speak of it.
I just sense that there is this spirit of foolish talks, talks that do nothing but merely comprises gossip(whether malicious or not), critical judgement on people(whether for fun or mere passing comment). I guess for those who knows me well, they will know that there are times I can be cranky and start talking and acting foolishly. So am I critisizing or contradicitng myself? No! I'm not saying that behaving foolish is wrong. But rather what was the intention and who are the people involved. Most of the time the intention is to provide entertainment for others which I think it is perfectly great. It's good to bring laughter and joy to people's life. Then the next question is the foolishness is targetted or involved who? Many a times, the foolish talks are shot at other people, picking on people's 'weakness' and making a joke out of it. This is what i called malicious foolish talks. It does nothing but discriminate or bring people down and what so great about making a quick joy at the expense of other people's feelings. Detestable attitude.
4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
I just sense that there is this spirit of foolish talks, talks that do nothing but merely comprises gossip(whether malicious or not), critical judgement on people(whether for fun or mere passing comment). I guess for those who knows me well, they will know that there are times I can be cranky and start talking and acting foolishly. So am I critisizing or contradicitng myself? No! I'm not saying that behaving foolish is wrong. But rather what was the intention and who are the people involved. Most of the time the intention is to provide entertainment for others which I think it is perfectly great. It's good to bring laughter and joy to people's life. Then the next question is the foolishness is targetted or involved who? Many a times, the foolish talks are shot at other people, picking on people's 'weakness' and making a joke out of it. This is what i called malicious foolish talks. It does nothing but discriminate or bring people down and what so great about making a quick joy at the expense of other people's feelings. Detestable attitude.
4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Eph 5:4-5
This is what God says about foolish talks which are out of place. They will not have any inheritane in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Maybe it seems a bit harsh and that the talks may not be similiar to the extent the talks mentioned in the passage. I still feel it is not right in God's eyes. And what is not right in God's eyes, is a sin and God detest sin. So why are we still doing things that God dislike?
And to make things more complicated, people are attracted to such talks. It is always good to have a good laugh at people's humours and to feel 'cool' in these people's presence. It attracts the most attention. I guess if foolish talks attracts foolish people, it is still fine. But then, it is not in this case. People who are more mature spirtually and by age are drawn to such talks. Well! They may not be involved or particpate in such talks but I guess by merely, joining in and enjoying a great entertainment out of it, I feel sad! By merely joining in, they have unawarely approved of such behaviours. We end up being a stumbling block to them and those who are younger in faith.
Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips.
Prov 14:7
And this is clearly what God says, stay away from foolish man as you find on knowledge but in fact, you become influenced. I'm not saying we shd condemn such people and stay far from them. But rather I believe God wants us to stay clear of such foolish behaviour for it has no knowledge but it just feed the hollowness in one self. In fact, my stand is we shd stand up against what is wrong and stand up for what is right. When a brother or sister has done something wrong, we being the more matured and stronger in faith should correct them and if necessary to rebuke them. It may not be easy for a peer to correct another peer but we have to bear in mind that if we don't, we have allowed our brother or sister in Christ sin. But in whose authority do we correct them?
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
2 Tim 3:16
In God's authority. Use God's word to correct, to teach, to rebuke and help our siblings in Christ to walk towards righteouness. My urge to all the rest is to continue to do what is right and good in the eyes of God. Do not be weary or tired but be strengthened in God's word and to follow the truth of the Spirit. Do not be afraid to go against the conformity of the world but walk in the light.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
28 June WEDNESDAY
Suppose to wake up at 8am to go for a jog. But my body was kinda aching from the run I had the day before. So just slept thru. Woke up at 8.45am! Den did my routine crunches. (Got to burn the extra!) Den took a bath and set off. Suppose to go Bishan Stadium to support Magdalene. She is having B Girls Long Jump Qualifying Round. Reach there abt 10.30am and they only kinda started at 11.10am. So there were abt 20 of them. Magdalene was the last 2nd or 3rd jumper. As this is a qualifying round, they only need to clear a certain distance to clear to the final. I was observing with my binoculars and I'm quite amazed why some school even bother to send participants in this event. I'm not discriminating against those 'poor' jumpers but I'm just thinking that since they are not able to carry out the event, den why waste time on it. Some of them was like barely even floating. They simply just run to the lift off line and.......... JUMP! and land on both feet standing up! My goodness! It's not 'zero-point'! But then there were a few good jumpers. Really stretching for the distance. Magdalene did pretty well. I believe she is at least in the top 8. Though for her height, she has a natural for jumping. I guess she has to work on her running approach, can go faster and also to open up her arms as she run to gather more momentum. Well! VEry good! She qualifies. Praise the Lord! By the time it ended, it was 11.40am. So went to City Hall to meet Darren. Having lunch with Darren and Yvon! As it was early, Darren and I went window shopping. Haha! Den met up with Yvon and went Marina Square to makan. Kinda like a celebration meal for her for starting school after such a long break. It is always good to kick off with a positive mood. Well also it was a good chance to share my 3 cents worth of advise. Haha! After lunch, went towatch Superman Returns! Not too bad! Interesting development! Fans of Man of Steel will definitely lift up their red undies in esctasy! After the show, went home! So tat's for today! There are still alot of things and issue i want to blog. Hmmm! just need to find the 'excuse' to sit down and start typing! Haha!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Gamble A Gamble!
It's nearly one week after my exams and there's so many things i would love to blog but i just can't seem to find the discipline to sit down and type it out! But just tot of talking abt this topic which somehow has got me really thinking! GAMBLING!
What is gambling? Many people have many definitions! Some say it is any activity when money or things of valued are used to risk for more returns(i'm not sure if you can consider buying shares is considered) The more conservative defines it as any game that requires luck or traditionally is a means for gambling regardless of whether money is involved or not. Well! For me, i support the first stand. But even taking this stand, i am still in certain struggle.
Recently, had a chalet with some of the youths. SO there was some games of Majong, Bridge, Dai De. I was pretty open to these games, firstly becoz these games are more than just being lucky but requires skills and secondly, as long as no money is involved and no compulsive playing. All of the youths adhere to the rules. Then the issue was discussed during the Youth Advisor Meeting. I have to clarify my intention and explained that I believe in educating them. We can stop them from playing when we are together but we can't stop them when they are outside of the group. I believe that I can use all these playing session to educate them on how to exercise self-control. I guess there's no one right way to deal with the issue of playing such games that doesn't involves money.
At first, I'm pretty convinced my way of dealing this issue is feasible until something cross my mind. I'm still accountable to their parents. If their parents are unaware or even against the idea of playing such games, then is it right for me to even allow such games even though i can use it as a teachable moment. Which is more important, Honoring your parents or playing a 'forbidden' game so that a value can be taught? Honestly, my immediate answer is honor your parents. Then have I help the youth in honoring their parents. No! Really this is such a 'thin line' issue. And I hope that in my unorthodox way of dealing this issue, I have not misled and stumbled anybody in the process. Really I'm at a loss!
God! Help me to do things that is pleasing in your eyes even if it means that it has to displeases any party. Help me to teach what is right to the youths, not my values but Your characters. And Lord, guide me so that I will not cause any of the young ones to stumble! Amen!
What is gambling? Many people have many definitions! Some say it is any activity when money or things of valued are used to risk for more returns(i'm not sure if you can consider buying shares is considered) The more conservative defines it as any game that requires luck or traditionally is a means for gambling regardless of whether money is involved or not. Well! For me, i support the first stand. But even taking this stand, i am still in certain struggle.
Recently, had a chalet with some of the youths. SO there was some games of Majong, Bridge, Dai De. I was pretty open to these games, firstly becoz these games are more than just being lucky but requires skills and secondly, as long as no money is involved and no compulsive playing. All of the youths adhere to the rules. Then the issue was discussed during the Youth Advisor Meeting. I have to clarify my intention and explained that I believe in educating them. We can stop them from playing when we are together but we can't stop them when they are outside of the group. I believe that I can use all these playing session to educate them on how to exercise self-control. I guess there's no one right way to deal with the issue of playing such games that doesn't involves money.
At first, I'm pretty convinced my way of dealing this issue is feasible until something cross my mind. I'm still accountable to their parents. If their parents are unaware or even against the idea of playing such games, then is it right for me to even allow such games even though i can use it as a teachable moment. Which is more important, Honoring your parents or playing a 'forbidden' game so that a value can be taught? Honestly, my immediate answer is honor your parents. Then have I help the youth in honoring their parents. No! Really this is such a 'thin line' issue. And I hope that in my unorthodox way of dealing this issue, I have not misled and stumbled anybody in the process. Really I'm at a loss!
God! Help me to do things that is pleasing in your eyes even if it means that it has to displeases any party. Help me to teach what is right to the youths, not my values but Your characters. And Lord, guide me so that I will not cause any of the young ones to stumble! Amen!
Saturday, June 24, 2006
The PAPER that everyone wants
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Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com
Monday, June 05, 2006
The Snail Ate The Elephant
Hmmmm! I was wondering why i put this title. No relevance to what i'm posting. Haha! But honestly in quite a down mood. Not just becoz of exams! In fact, i'm really excited not becoz of exams but becoz exams starting means exams ending soon and it will be an end to my misery. However, my mood was turned around when i found out i lost my plastic card holder. I dun mind if i had just lost cash but not all my important document cards. IDENTITY CARD, DRIVING LICENCE, POSB MASTER DEBIT CARD, STUDENT CARD, EZ-LINK! It's like a lot of hassle to go thru replacing the cards. And some more have to pay. I have cancelled my debit card and thkfully they are sending a replacment for FREE! The IC is goin to cost $100 bucks, driving licence, $50, Student card and EZ not too sure. Oh gosh! What a heavy consequences. God, please let a good 'Samaritan' find my card holder and return to the police. Haizzzzzzzzz..............! Well! NVM! God will help me!
On another note, thks to a wonderful sister(in-Christ) of mine, now i'm doing this 'thing' she tag me! Give you face ok!
10 years ago I was : 15 y/o, Sec 3, Hai Sing High Sec Sch, still as handsome
5 years ago I was : 18 y/o, still in the army, earning peanuts,
1 year ago I was : 18y/o, still studying, darn, so old still studying, i better finish my studies soon
5 snacks i enjoy: This is hard! I eat everything! I will just mention what comes to my mind
1) dried guava 2) vanilla ice-cream 3) gummy sweets 4) white chocolate 5) egg
5 songs i know all the words to: None! i tend to forget some of the lyrics!
5 things i would do with 100 million dollars:
1) Buy a MPV, a convertible sports car,
2) Go and study Baking and Pastry, set up my own shop
3) Go on tour with my loved ones
4) Refurnish and decorate my house
5) Employ some bodyguards!!!
5 places i would run away to:
1) Church
2) Cambodia (that's the next further place i've been to)
3) I would love to go to an island where it's totally natural, no human's touches to it
4) Land of OZ
5) my room
5 things i would never wear:
1) any forms of ring other than finger ring
2) bow tie
3) wig (if i have to be bald, den i shall be the coolest baldie)
4) any ornament with precious stone like jade or ruby (exception: diamond)
5) translucent, transparent, fish-netting clothes
5 bad habits:
1) (high-five with w.y) procratisnation; they shd have a bachelor in Applied Procrastination, I'll get top honors
2) blowing bubbles with my saliva
3) Eating
4) Window Shopping (it's bad becoz it means i have no spending power)
5) Stoning
5 biggest joys:
1) Meeting up with frens
2) Cooking
3) Playing guitar
4) Playing sports that i like
5) Stoning
5 favourite toys:
1) Transformer (love it but nvr had the $$ to buy it)
2) Guns
3) Dragon Ball figurine
4) Vehicles
5) my own imagination (the best toy God has given me, it is still now my best toy)
5 fictional characters i would date:
1) Zhi Wei Ge Ge from HUAN ZHU GE GE
2) Yu Yan from YANG MEN HU JIANG
Ai yah! Can't think any more lah!
As usual, i dun tag other pple!
Ok! Done with it!
Hmmm! What can i blog on??? Oh yah! Recently watch 3 movies. Over the hedge, X-Men 3, The Benchwarmers. Over the hedge still not too bad, typical story-moral line but still entertaining.
X-Men 3 was bad! Real bad! Totally disappointing. The story line was so dull! The development of each character was so limited. My goodness! I just feel like i had gone into a buffet and every dish is pathethic. Well! I think i will give a good summary of the show after my exams!
Benchwarmer! Ok C grade movie. Pretty humorous but den again, it's not worth my $9.50! And in fact it's actually pretty lame! No comment! Watch at your own risk and pocket!
Well! At least I found out a new way of eating popcorn at a cheaper rate. Go NTUC! They sell 1 packet of popc0rn for $2. Den buy a bottle of drink ranging from $1-$2. My goodness! At most $4, compared to their pathethic small combo of $6.50. Yeaahhhhhh!!!!!!!
On another note, thks to a wonderful sister(in-Christ) of mine, now i'm doing this 'thing' she tag me! Give you face ok!
10 years ago I was : 15 y/o, Sec 3, Hai Sing High Sec Sch, still as handsome
5 years ago I was : 18 y/o, still in the army, earning peanuts,
1 year ago I was : 18y/o, still studying, darn, so old still studying, i better finish my studies soon
5 snacks i enjoy: This is hard! I eat everything! I will just mention what comes to my mind
1) dried guava 2) vanilla ice-cream 3) gummy sweets 4) white chocolate 5) egg
5 songs i know all the words to: None! i tend to forget some of the lyrics!
5 things i would do with 100 million dollars:
1) Buy a MPV, a convertible sports car,
2) Go and study Baking and Pastry, set up my own shop
3) Go on tour with my loved ones
4) Refurnish and decorate my house
5) Employ some bodyguards!!!
5 places i would run away to:
1) Church
2) Cambodia (that's the next further place i've been to)
3) I would love to go to an island where it's totally natural, no human's touches to it
4) Land of OZ
5) my room
5 things i would never wear:
1) any forms of ring other than finger ring
2) bow tie
3) wig (if i have to be bald, den i shall be the coolest baldie)
4) any ornament with precious stone like jade or ruby (exception: diamond)
5) translucent, transparent, fish-netting clothes
5 bad habits:
1) (high-five with w.y) procratisnation; they shd have a bachelor in Applied Procrastination, I'll get top honors
2) blowing bubbles with my saliva
3) Eating
4) Window Shopping (it's bad becoz it means i have no spending power)
5) Stoning
5 biggest joys:
1) Meeting up with frens
2) Cooking
3) Playing guitar
4) Playing sports that i like
5) Stoning
5 favourite toys:
1) Transformer (love it but nvr had the $$ to buy it)
2) Guns
3) Dragon Ball figurine
4) Vehicles
5) my own imagination (the best toy God has given me, it is still now my best toy)
5 fictional characters i would date:
1) Zhi Wei Ge Ge from HUAN ZHU GE GE
2) Yu Yan from YANG MEN HU JIANG
Ai yah! Can't think any more lah!
As usual, i dun tag other pple!
Ok! Done with it!
Hmmm! What can i blog on??? Oh yah! Recently watch 3 movies. Over the hedge, X-Men 3, The Benchwarmers. Over the hedge still not too bad, typical story-moral line but still entertaining.
X-Men 3 was bad! Real bad! Totally disappointing. The story line was so dull! The development of each character was so limited. My goodness! I just feel like i had gone into a buffet and every dish is pathethic. Well! I think i will give a good summary of the show after my exams!
Benchwarmer! Ok C grade movie. Pretty humorous but den again, it's not worth my $9.50! And in fact it's actually pretty lame! No comment! Watch at your own risk and pocket!
Well! At least I found out a new way of eating popcorn at a cheaper rate. Go NTUC! They sell 1 packet of popc0rn for $2. Den buy a bottle of drink ranging from $1-$2. My goodness! At most $4, compared to their pathethic small combo of $6.50. Yeaahhhhhh!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 01, 2006
MEN! Eat These!
Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you
Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..
Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like ........ Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooo oooo long to mature.
Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
And Nvr, I say again NVr ask your wife to bring breakfast to bed becoz she will reply......
Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..
Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like ........ Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooo oooo long to mature.
Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
And Nvr, I say again NVr ask your wife to bring breakfast to bed becoz she will reply......
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Fire on an Oil Field
Today was Youth Games Day organised by the Chinese Youth Board of the Anglican Diocese. Suppose to be at AHS by 8.30am. So early. THkfully, Daniel got car and hitch-hiked. Reached there and was like pretty crowded. Our youths are competing in the Street Soccer and Captain's Ball! Started off with worship, followed by a message by a pastor. Den the game began with the street soccer. Pretty intensive. Only six teams particpated. We won every match and eventually we reached the final and we took the Champion. Well done boys and a girl (kuan ren)! Den next was Captain's Ball. Played 3 matches. Lost 2 and drew 1. SOunds bad and demoralising but honestly, the team did a great job considering we nvr had played together as a team. I managed to play the 3rd match which we eventually lost. I guess I was too over passionate for the game. I was becoming a bit worked up with every pass we lost and every shot the opposition score! And becoz I had a pretty good knowledge of playing Captain's Ball, I simply couldn't fit into the passive style our team was playing. Dun get me wrong. I'm not complaining that the team was playing lousy. I think it's very much me lah! I'm one person who can be very easy going with any and everything but sport. I'm way very serious when playing sports and it tends to make me very hostile. I guess I have to really learn to manage this aspects of my emotion. Passion with no control is like setting a fire on an oil field. It does nothing but destroy. I must learn to enjoy playing games at different level of competitiveness! So if in any way, i have been harsh or hostile to any of you have played with me, pls accept my sincerestt apologies. But den again, i think if we train for Captain's Ball rite, we shd be able to win the Trophy next year! SO are you all keen to employ me as the coach????
Friday, May 12, 2006
BIG 25
Actually it's not tat big lah! But den it sound more impressive with the word BIG! A quarter of a century. That's what i'm becoming this year. Really time flies! I still could vaguely remember the little details of my childhood, student life. But all these are HISTORY! Honestly, I nvr would have talk about this topic one. I was happily living my child-like life, enjoying companion of my frens over lunch and they pop this statement, "5 more years and you will be 30!" Hmmm! Sound pretty ok at first. But then it really starts to feel like salt rubbed into a hidden open wound. OUCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!! Thks for reminding me man! I couldn't have been able to add 5 to 25 to get 30 if you nvr taught me! But then again, it kept me thinking. What do i really want to do? Many of my frens of my age have alreadi started working. Some have even got married and have started acquainted with the different brands of diapers and milk powder. It sounds mad and unbelievable. I'm happily enjoying my life like a kid at this part of the world while on the other side, people are alreadi experiencing parenthood! Haha! Maybe you think I'm writing this as a form of complaint or a form of depression speech. But honestly, i'm still very happy becoz I enjoyed my freedom as a single. All these years, as i look back on how i trouble over not having a stead, managing my moodswing, it may seem pathetic. But I'm glad that i was single becoz it is one of the best time of my life. Dun get me wrong. I'm not saying finding or having a partner isn't good. In fact, i believe 2 heads are better 1 as it will help to bring 2 people to worship God even more intimately. WHat i'm saying is that being single has its pros and purpose in life. But that's for you to find out yourself with God! I believe i'm ending my singlehood soon. (hint! hint!) Gonna miss it! SO those singles out there, dun worry but trust in the timing and plan of God, for every thing has its season!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
LOVE PROFILE
Xj, your love type is:
(I)ntroversion/ (E)xtraversion: This dimension describes how you approach and interact with the world and how you typically direct your energy.
INTROVERSION 50%
EXTROVERSION 50%
Most times, people simply associate introverts with being shy and extraverts with being loud. These descriptions are not entirely correct because those two qualities are only part of what determines whether someone is an introvert or an extravert. For example, typically, to an extravert, the outside world represents both excitement and opportunity. Extraverts often think and perform better in front of others. Also, because an extravert's energy is often directed outwards, extroverts like being around people most of the time. Introverts, on the other hand, usually direct their energy inwards and often need alone time to replenish their energy stores.
When it comes to communication, introverts will tend to formulate their thoughts before they speak up. Extraverts will often think and talk at the same time, saying whatever comes into their heads. This more immediate approach makes extraverts spontaneous, but it can also get them into hot water. Socially, introverts prefer more intimate settings where they have the chance to get to know fewer people on a deeper basis. Extraverts typically feel that in social situations, the more the merrier. As mentioned above — not every introvert or extravert will display every trait tied to this dimension. In fact, people are apt to display a mix of traits.
I(N)tuition/ (S)ensing: This dimension demonstrates how people tend to process information
INTUITION 15%
SENSING 85%
What kinds of information do you naturally notice? That's the main question this scale answers. Sensors tend to focus on concrete information. Intuitives tend to focus on possibilities. By using their five senses to gather data, sensors trust what can be seen, heard, touched, tasted, or felt. By staying attuned to their five senses, sensors are also apt to focus on the present and to have great attention to detail. If you are looking for accurate information, ask a sensor.
Intuitives, on the other hand, are more imaginative types who tend to look for deeper, abstract meanings in the world around them. They do this by inferring things from the data that's in front of them. For example, when presented with information, intuitives usually enjoy pondering over implications of those facts and anticipating future consequences. Intuitives aren't often interested in details and tend to see the big picture of a situation faster than sensors.
(F)eeling/ (T)hinking: This dimension demonstrates how you make decisions.
FEELING 45%
THINKING 55%
The way each one of us makes decisions is influenced by whether we are primarily thinkers or feelers. Thinkers value analytical thinking and tend to be methodical and logical when evaluating their options. Thinkers pride themselves on being objective, rather than letting their subjective feelings or opinions enter into their decisions. Feelers often see thinkers as being somewhat cold. Feelers have a very different decision making process. Theirs takes into account how others will be affected alongside of the objective facts. By putting people's individual situations in the forefronts of their minds, feelers are more likely to make exceptions to rules than thinkers are. Feelers are highly empathic, and sometimes this bent can make them seem too emotional to thinkers.
(P)erceiving/ (J)udging: The last dimension describes whether you prefer closure or openness
PERCEIVING 35%
JUDGING 65%
The final dimension describes whether you prefer closure or openness in your life's situations. For instance, because of their high need for control, judgers like structure and order in the world around them. Judgers are typically organized people who focus on goals and accomplish what they set out to do.
On the other end of the spectrum are perceivers who usually prefer to experience the world spontaneously. Oftentimes a perceiver can't tell you their schedule from one day to the next because they don't know what's going to happen. Perceivers usually like keeping their options open and can pride themselves on adapting to whatever situation they confront. Judgers are most excited when they have finished a project. Perceivers tend to be most excited when a new endeavor begins.
MY LOVE TYPE:
Being an ESTJ, you can stand out from the crowd for all kinds of reasons. Among your unique qualities are strong determination and a sharp mind. Together, these traits often mean that an honest day's work isn't likely to strike fear into your heart. On the contrary, you're one who can truly appreciate commitment to a job well done. This steadfast nature usually carries over to your relationships as well; you're rarely one to run off because things have gotten tough. This is an admirable quality. You also are a fairly outgoing person and are energized by being around others
Your philosophy of relationships appears much like your work ethic. You're the kind who believes that what you put into a relationship is typically what you get back. Because of this no-nonsense approach, you aren't the type to overwhelm others with your warm and fuzzy ways. However, when people want to hear truth, they should knock on your door. No matter the topic, you're usually happy to tell it like it is. This said, you seem to find a balance between being honest and sparing others feelings. Perhaps you've learned that how you say things is often as important as what you say.
Before confronting someone about a problem, you'll usually use your head and think about all the angles before opening your mouth. You piece together information like a detective, carefully looking at the facts rather than letting your imagination run away with you. As a result, you're usually not the insecure type in a relationship because you aren't apt to jump to wild conclusions. When new people come into your life, they may find you a bit standoffish at first. However, given the chance over time, you will show them the depths of your generous heart and your impressive capacity for forgiveness.
What makes you a good partner and friend?
Your sincerity inspires others to be true to themselves
You are trustworthy and not prone to gossip
You know how to be sensitive to other people's feelings
You're not the kind to leave when the going gets tough
Your most compatible type
Because you're a Sensing Thinker (ST), you're someone who tends to be logical and more in tune with your rational side than your emotions. STs like you are known for having strong intellectual skills. Because of this mix of traits, you typically appreciate those who enjoy analytical thinking and the world of ideas as much as you do. As a result, you're most compatible with Intuitive Thinkers (NTs). NTs are intellectual in their own right but tend to excel at more creative, big picture thinking. This skill in coming up with great, innovative ideas can really inspire you. That's one reason an ST/NT pairing often results in a great meeting of the minds. There are four ST/NT matches for you: ENTJ, INTJ, ENTP, INTP.
Visit the website to try it out yourself:
LOVE PROFILE
Monday, April 17, 2006
Baseline for all Bassists
Haha! Jokes abt Bassists which i came across the net. Funny if you are a bassist or you know how a band works. Haha! Enjoy it! (by the way, I am a bassist, so no offence intended to bassist)
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks.
A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks.
The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop."
The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!"
The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!"
The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?"
Wild-eyed, the boy responds,
" . . . BASS SOLO!!!" -
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
There was a poor ragged bass guitarist panhandling for spare change on a street corner. One day someone came by and threw a brass lamp into his guitar case.
Upon rubbing the lamp, a genie appeared and offered the bass player three wishes. "I wish I was a better musician", said the bass man. Next thing he knew he was in a band that was cutting its first CD and had a loyal following.
He was pretty happy, but he wanted more. "I wish I was an even better musician", said the bassist. Before long he was playing on an extended world tour in front of tens of thousands of adoring fans. He was ecstatic, but he wanted even more.
"Genie", he said, "make me an even BETTER musician!" Poof! He found himself standing on his old street corner . . . playing drums.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
A couple, who's relationship was on the rocks, went to a marriage counselor who could not get them to discuss anything. The communication block was so heavy that nothing he suggested could make them open up and talk.
Finally after several sessions of non-communication, the counselor stands up, walks to the corner of the room and produces a bass guitar. He brings it to the couple, plugs it into a small practice amp and begins to play fervently. Gradually their barriers break down and they begin to discuss their problems and little things that always bothered them that they never felt encouraged to bring up before.
At the end of the session, they were smiling and laughing just like old times. They paid their bill and before leaving, the couple asked the counselor, "What did you do? How did that song help make everything work out?"
He answered simply, "Everybody talks during the bass solo."
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Q- What do a vacuum cleaner and an bass guitar have in common?
A- Both suck when you plug them in.
Q- How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A- None--they just steal somebody else's light.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
2 Years 3 Months!
That's how long it took me to come to senses to know that all those senses that I try to make out of the unknowns are all no sense at all. Running a race that has no hope. I am totally battered. I am totally out of reasons to convince myself. I don't want to run away. Neither do I want to force my way through. I have given up. It's not in my control. I have thrown myself into the well. I am died.............
Lord, not my will but Yours. Amen!
Lord, not my will but Yours. Amen!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
?????
Well! I'm not sure if this entry will be a long one. And i will simply just update on the things i could remember.
31 Mar (Fri)
Had small group in the evening. Den learn about my grandma had a bad fall again. I think this time is quite serious one. Somehow felt very sad. My grandma is like nearly 83y/o. And she lives alone becoz none of her sons are financially abled to support her. Her daughters, however are able to but den grandma sure won't want to becoz in the older generation, it is not a practise for parents to stay with the son-in-law. Ai yah! So rubbish! NVM! Then i myself feel very frustrated becoz i can't communicate with her. She kinds of dote on her grandchildren and yet I'm not able to reciprocrate that love back to her. Whenever she is in my presence, all i could is smile and try to make out those simple Hainanese word that i know. It's pathethic. Crap! How i wish I know Hainanese? I try picking it up but den i'm just simply not a language person. Haizzzzzz.
1 Apr (Sat)
April's Fool day! I guess it has been a long time i had play April's fool day after I'm out of school. But i'm still very cautious. And true enough there were some pranks going around. Haha! Morning, meet up with Ding yi, Xin Ling and Amelia to play basketball. Did some shootout. Then went home to bath and went to TM to buy gift voucher for Si En's belated birthday. Den went TM food court to eat. Den i curiously bought this $3.80 Jumbo Ice Kachang. Hmmm! it sure did attracted a bit of attention. Even with Ding Yi, Si En..... and Xin ling, all 4 of us can't finish it. Haha! Then went church. During Youth Fellowship, we had "Parents - You are Invited Day." Had a lot of fun and excitement. Praise the Lord. Then after tat, nobody eating dinner so had to settle my own dinner. Didn't eat anything but went home. Den had news of grandma's condition. It seems like it was pretty serious. She broke her ligament and won't be able to use her left leg normally again. I'm really sad. Tentatively keeping the news from her since letting her know also won't help much.
2 Apr (Sun)
Woke up and went church with sis. Attended Chinese Svc but was too distracted to catch the flow of the svc. Haiz. After svc, went with sis to NUH to visit grandma. Reach there but she was asleep so went down to the foodcourt ate a dessert and then went to the main lobby and sleep. Haha! Tired boy! Then at about 2pm went up again and she was awake. Dad and mum and some of the uncles and aunties were there. So went to try to talk to grandma. She was high spirit as usual, her normal personality. As i see her aged, frail face marked with the lines of passing years, it somehow dawn on me how much more years will she have. Dun get me wrong. I'm not counting her days to her final bed but i'm just thinking how much longer do we have to spend this (hopefully) blissful years with her. Hmmm! Life is so unpredictable. But thank God we have God who is in control of everything. After an hour, we left and took a cab home. Stop halfway to go church meet Marcus, Yvon and Mag. Den when reached there, realised they abandoned me to go to Li Boey's house. Hmmmm! Then was waiting to go for soccer training and then it rained. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Why? Why? Always on Sunday and this time. 2nd week in a row. Then met up with Marcus they all to eat dinner at TM's LJS. After that went NTUC to stock up food. Went home!
Well! That's about what happened these few days. Rather feeling down these days. Going into a mood swing again. AAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Somehow having this feeling of playing Hide and Seek. Andworst is that i do not know when to Hide or when to Seek! Lord, pls help me! I'm really in a state of confusion. I know there are things that are not meant for me to know now because it is not time yet. In my anxiety and yet knowing that i had to be patient upon Your timing, my mind and heart is at conflict. Help me Lord! Take away whatever that is not from You. Help me to focus on You and not of the things of the flesh or the world. Amen!
31 Mar (Fri)
Had small group in the evening. Den learn about my grandma had a bad fall again. I think this time is quite serious one. Somehow felt very sad. My grandma is like nearly 83y/o. And she lives alone becoz none of her sons are financially abled to support her. Her daughters, however are able to but den grandma sure won't want to becoz in the older generation, it is not a practise for parents to stay with the son-in-law. Ai yah! So rubbish! NVM! Then i myself feel very frustrated becoz i can't communicate with her. She kinds of dote on her grandchildren and yet I'm not able to reciprocrate that love back to her. Whenever she is in my presence, all i could is smile and try to make out those simple Hainanese word that i know. It's pathethic. Crap! How i wish I know Hainanese? I try picking it up but den i'm just simply not a language person. Haizzzzzz.
1 Apr (Sat)
April's Fool day! I guess it has been a long time i had play April's fool day after I'm out of school. But i'm still very cautious. And true enough there were some pranks going around. Haha! Morning, meet up with Ding yi, Xin Ling and Amelia to play basketball. Did some shootout. Then went home to bath and went to TM to buy gift voucher for Si En's belated birthday. Den went TM food court to eat. Den i curiously bought this $3.80 Jumbo Ice Kachang. Hmmm! it sure did attracted a bit of attention. Even with Ding Yi, Si En..... and Xin ling, all 4 of us can't finish it. Haha! Then went church. During Youth Fellowship, we had "Parents - You are Invited Day." Had a lot of fun and excitement. Praise the Lord. Then after tat, nobody eating dinner so had to settle my own dinner. Didn't eat anything but went home. Den had news of grandma's condition. It seems like it was pretty serious. She broke her ligament and won't be able to use her left leg normally again. I'm really sad. Tentatively keeping the news from her since letting her know also won't help much.
2 Apr (Sun)
Woke up and went church with sis. Attended Chinese Svc but was too distracted to catch the flow of the svc. Haiz. After svc, went with sis to NUH to visit grandma. Reach there but she was asleep so went down to the foodcourt ate a dessert and then went to the main lobby and sleep. Haha! Tired boy! Then at about 2pm went up again and she was awake. Dad and mum and some of the uncles and aunties were there. So went to try to talk to grandma. She was high spirit as usual, her normal personality. As i see her aged, frail face marked with the lines of passing years, it somehow dawn on me how much more years will she have. Dun get me wrong. I'm not counting her days to her final bed but i'm just thinking how much longer do we have to spend this (hopefully) blissful years with her. Hmmm! Life is so unpredictable. But thank God we have God who is in control of everything. After an hour, we left and took a cab home. Stop halfway to go church meet Marcus, Yvon and Mag. Den when reached there, realised they abandoned me to go to Li Boey's house. Hmmmm! Then was waiting to go for soccer training and then it rained. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Why? Why? Always on Sunday and this time. 2nd week in a row. Then met up with Marcus they all to eat dinner at TM's LJS. After that went NTUC to stock up food. Went home!
Well! That's about what happened these few days. Rather feeling down these days. Going into a mood swing again. AAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Somehow having this feeling of playing Hide and Seek. Andworst is that i do not know when to Hide or when to Seek! Lord, pls help me! I'm really in a state of confusion. I know there are things that are not meant for me to know now because it is not time yet. In my anxiety and yet knowing that i had to be patient upon Your timing, my mind and heart is at conflict. Help me Lord! Take away whatever that is not from You. Help me to focus on You and not of the things of the flesh or the world. Amen!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Weakest Link
Hiazzzzzzzz! Why am i so musically untalented? I just simply can't play in beat and when playing as a band, i utterly can't hear myself and I'm totally playing out of beat. ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Today playing guitar for Darren and Xin Ling. But was like really struggling to keep in beat for the fast song. Then with the distortions, I really can't concentrate. Den the song "My redeemer lives", i was totally unable to keep the beat when everybody plays. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! I'm the weakest link. Maybe that's why i got demoted to being a Worship Leader. Hahahahah! Hmmmmm! Honestly 2 things that a musician will not want to be. Either tone deaf or beatless. Haha! Feel like giving up! Dun wan to ever play guitar again. Yah rite! That's an easy way out but i know i can never stop playing guitar becoz until now, it has always been God's grace in my guitar playing. I must do something about it. I really want to pick up drum. At least playing this instrument, i am force to pay attention to beat and rhythm. Yes! that's what i'm goin to do. But den the problem is which teacher is willingly to suffer for me. Haha! We shall see. HE will provide rite. Haha! Hmmmm! Must also start to pick up guitar as a student. Must go and learn from everybody and anybody. YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Monday, March 27, 2006
25 - 26 Mar (Sat - Sun)
25 Mar
Woke up 6am this morning. Couldn't sleep. Dun know why. This morning have a seminar to attend at St John St Margaret at 9am. Den meeting some of the youths at 7.45am at Simei MRT platform. Ding Yi and Xin Ling came over at abt 7.10am to my house to put their barang barang as there's a stayover tonight at my place. Den being the hospitable me, I make them breakfast. After breakfast, left for Simei MRT. Then took us about an hour to reach Dover MRT station. Suppose to meet Darren, Yvon and Jamie at that time but they were late. Hmmmm. Ai yoh! Then told the rest to go first while i wait for them. By the time reach SJSM, was like 9.10am. Late and worship had started. And only managed to get back seats. Anyway i haven't say what seminar i'm attending. Attending this seminar "10 keys to choosing life partner'' by Pastor Benny Ho. I must say he is indeed a very good speaker. The way he carry his message was humorous but yet straight to the point. Just a quick run thru of the 10 keys.
1) The Wisdom of Seeking Counsel
2) The Principle of Equally Yoked
3) The beauty of Purity
4) The Principle of Shared Inheritance
5) The Presence of Willingness
6) The Key of Prayer
7) The Important value of Kindness
8) The need for Family Blessing
9) The Principle of Timing
10) The Principle of Well
I guess the last 2 points really kept me thinking. Timing. I believe that in God's timing, all things will fall into place. And I believe that God will give the best to me. But many a times, I just simply sit there and wait for God's timing. Is tat good? No in fact it's so wrong not so much in waiting upon God but in that I'm so engrossed in focusing on the timing that i do nothing but just day and night, waiting anxiously. How foolish! And also the principle of well which actually talks abt many characters in the bible found their partners near the well. Well symbolishes community gathering and for us our well is the church. Stay around the 'well' and the right one may appear rite before your eyes. Hmmmm! haha! Well after the seminar went back to Simei, had lunch at KFC and went to church. Was a bit rush for me becoz i agreed to help to lead worship for the English Patient Svc. It is like at 3.15pm and i got back to church at abt 2.30pm. Den after the svc, i'm leading worship at the youths. Den after the worship, there's a meeting with senior pastor. I left half way becoz i was simply too tired. Since 6am i woke up and my mind was dying away. So after that went to NTUC bought some food to cook dinner. Some of the youths staying over. Watch soccer, play majong, talk some rubbish, den before you know it, it was nearly 1am. Lights off. Lionel and Ariz slept in my room. Darren fitted just nice in my living room sofa. Xin Ling, Wen Yuan, Yvon and Joanne squeezed in my parent's bed. I and Ding Yi slept on mattress in the dining room. Yawnnn!
26 Mar
Woke up at 7am. Saw a figure sitting down in the living room. (not wearing spects) so was wondering who it was. It was Xin Ling. Apparently she got jostled out of the bed at around 4am den end up sitting and sleeping on one of the single seat sofa. SO poor thing. Den quickly got up, woke the rest up and prepare breakfast. Scrambled egg and picnic chicken with bread and milo. Suppose to leave home by 7.50am. End up leaving at around 8.05am. As usual someone taking HER own sweet time. Haiz. Dun know wat to say. The perfect Melancholy in me was getting impatient but den the Peaceful Phlegmatic side of me is telling me to be erhhhh.... be peaceful. haha! So reached church at abt 8.20am den some of us Joanne, Wen Yuan, Darren and Yvon joined some of the adults in the morning prayer. So glad they join in becoz this morning prayer is very important. It is kinda like the spiritual foundation of the Sunday's svc. Really hope they will come to pray more often.
After svc, waited for William and Lydia to go for lunch. Went to Sakura to eat. Then chit-chat a bit and shared about my life and wat was going on. Haha! Then rush to AHS for the Street Soccer tournament. Darren, daniel, james, colin, jason and me playing. Our first match will be the tournament 5th match. However after 3rd match, rained den stop playing for a while. Den resume match and our turn, we went in with style. The first thing the opponents commented was, "Woah! They all so big sized one!" Haha! Not too sure if he meant it big-tough or big-flabby. Hmmm! Then next we had some pre-shooting. First shot, i make a diving saved. Trying to pyschologically affect the opponents. Den next Daniel took a blistering shot at me. I tried to parry the ball with both hands but it was so strong, it pierce thru my parry and smack right into my face. Kinda twisted my right wrist. Den next Darren rammed a shot at me while i was not looking. Hit right into my left shoulder. Power man! I think by then, the opponents were pyschologically affected. Then we started the match. We were doing fine, having good possession and a few attempt. They had a few fair chance. One shot parried by me and thkfully, it hit the pole and rolled away from the line. But never did we know, a quick attack on the right by the opponents and a bit of luck, they squeezed the ball pass me at the near pole at a tight angle. We were a bit taken a back but we weren't going to give up. We fought stonger and increased our fire power. Finally, Jason got his chance and sliced the ball pass the keeper at the far pole. Beautiful. And minutes later, Jason added his No.2 with a volley. Superb. And the game ended. 2-1. Brillant. Haha! Then after the nextt match, the rain started to pour again and the match was postponed to 9 Apr. And guess what , i can't play. Church got AGM and definitely AGM is more important. Pity i have to say but i'm sure the team will still do pretty fine without me. Den another bad news. Uncle Bryan say the 5pm soccer, cancelled. So xian. Haiz. So they ferried us to Tanah Merah MRT and went to TM to eat dinner. Everybody was stoning. Haha! So after dinner, all went home. Reached home at abt 6pm den sleep until 9.30pm. Haha. WHat a day! And dad and mum is coming home tmr. Hehe! Quite fun to be home alone but den also realised a lot of housework to do.
Woke up 6am this morning. Couldn't sleep. Dun know why. This morning have a seminar to attend at St John St Margaret at 9am. Den meeting some of the youths at 7.45am at Simei MRT platform. Ding Yi and Xin Ling came over at abt 7.10am to my house to put their barang barang as there's a stayover tonight at my place. Den being the hospitable me, I make them breakfast. After breakfast, left for Simei MRT. Then took us about an hour to reach Dover MRT station. Suppose to meet Darren, Yvon and Jamie at that time but they were late. Hmmmm. Ai yoh! Then told the rest to go first while i wait for them. By the time reach SJSM, was like 9.10am. Late and worship had started. And only managed to get back seats. Anyway i haven't say what seminar i'm attending. Attending this seminar "10 keys to choosing life partner'' by Pastor Benny Ho. I must say he is indeed a very good speaker. The way he carry his message was humorous but yet straight to the point. Just a quick run thru of the 10 keys.
1) The Wisdom of Seeking Counsel
2) The Principle of Equally Yoked
3) The beauty of Purity
4) The Principle of Shared Inheritance
5) The Presence of Willingness
6) The Key of Prayer
7) The Important value of Kindness
8) The need for Family Blessing
9) The Principle of Timing
10) The Principle of Well
I guess the last 2 points really kept me thinking. Timing. I believe that in God's timing, all things will fall into place. And I believe that God will give the best to me. But many a times, I just simply sit there and wait for God's timing. Is tat good? No in fact it's so wrong not so much in waiting upon God but in that I'm so engrossed in focusing on the timing that i do nothing but just day and night, waiting anxiously. How foolish! And also the principle of well which actually talks abt many characters in the bible found their partners near the well. Well symbolishes community gathering and for us our well is the church. Stay around the 'well' and the right one may appear rite before your eyes. Hmmmm! haha! Well after the seminar went back to Simei, had lunch at KFC and went to church. Was a bit rush for me becoz i agreed to help to lead worship for the English Patient Svc. It is like at 3.15pm and i got back to church at abt 2.30pm. Den after the svc, i'm leading worship at the youths. Den after the worship, there's a meeting with senior pastor. I left half way becoz i was simply too tired. Since 6am i woke up and my mind was dying away. So after that went to NTUC bought some food to cook dinner. Some of the youths staying over. Watch soccer, play majong, talk some rubbish, den before you know it, it was nearly 1am. Lights off. Lionel and Ariz slept in my room. Darren fitted just nice in my living room sofa. Xin Ling, Wen Yuan, Yvon and Joanne squeezed in my parent's bed. I and Ding Yi slept on mattress in the dining room. Yawnnn!
26 Mar
Woke up at 7am. Saw a figure sitting down in the living room. (not wearing spects) so was wondering who it was. It was Xin Ling. Apparently she got jostled out of the bed at around 4am den end up sitting and sleeping on one of the single seat sofa. SO poor thing. Den quickly got up, woke the rest up and prepare breakfast. Scrambled egg and picnic chicken with bread and milo. Suppose to leave home by 7.50am. End up leaving at around 8.05am. As usual someone taking HER own sweet time. Haiz. Dun know wat to say. The perfect Melancholy in me was getting impatient but den the Peaceful Phlegmatic side of me is telling me to be erhhhh.... be peaceful. haha! So reached church at abt 8.20am den some of us Joanne, Wen Yuan, Darren and Yvon joined some of the adults in the morning prayer. So glad they join in becoz this morning prayer is very important. It is kinda like the spiritual foundation of the Sunday's svc. Really hope they will come to pray more often.
After svc, waited for William and Lydia to go for lunch. Went to Sakura to eat. Then chit-chat a bit and shared about my life and wat was going on. Haha! Then rush to AHS for the Street Soccer tournament. Darren, daniel, james, colin, jason and me playing. Our first match will be the tournament 5th match. However after 3rd match, rained den stop playing for a while. Den resume match and our turn, we went in with style. The first thing the opponents commented was, "Woah! They all so big sized one!" Haha! Not too sure if he meant it big-tough or big-flabby. Hmmm! Then next we had some pre-shooting. First shot, i make a diving saved. Trying to pyschologically affect the opponents. Den next Daniel took a blistering shot at me. I tried to parry the ball with both hands but it was so strong, it pierce thru my parry and smack right into my face. Kinda twisted my right wrist. Den next Darren rammed a shot at me while i was not looking. Hit right into my left shoulder. Power man! I think by then, the opponents were pyschologically affected. Then we started the match. We were doing fine, having good possession and a few attempt. They had a few fair chance. One shot parried by me and thkfully, it hit the pole and rolled away from the line. But never did we know, a quick attack on the right by the opponents and a bit of luck, they squeezed the ball pass me at the near pole at a tight angle. We were a bit taken a back but we weren't going to give up. We fought stonger and increased our fire power. Finally, Jason got his chance and sliced the ball pass the keeper at the far pole. Beautiful. And minutes later, Jason added his No.2 with a volley. Superb. And the game ended. 2-1. Brillant. Haha! Then after the nextt match, the rain started to pour again and the match was postponed to 9 Apr. And guess what , i can't play. Church got AGM and definitely AGM is more important. Pity i have to say but i'm sure the team will still do pretty fine without me. Den another bad news. Uncle Bryan say the 5pm soccer, cancelled. So xian. Haiz. So they ferried us to Tanah Merah MRT and went to TM to eat dinner. Everybody was stoning. Haha! So after dinner, all went home. Reached home at abt 6pm den sleep until 9.30pm. Haha. WHat a day! And dad and mum is coming home tmr. Hehe! Quite fun to be home alone but den also realised a lot of housework to do.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
If you can't be a gentleman, dun be anything at all!
Men out there! Listen carefully! Yes, if you can't be a gentleman or even at least act as once, go vaporised yourself. If you can't be a good father or husband dun get married. If you think that you are of superior being, maybe you should go see yourself in the toilet bowl. I'm blowing my top again. That father of my is really getting on my nerves. I really dun know wat to do. I just wish i was a bad kid and den i will have no reasons not to give him a good lesson. After his surgery, his attitude nvr improves but becomes more erractic. Maybe you think that I'm just a person who has low tolerant and an unfilial son. I wish to think so but i'm not. He is really pushing his limits. His lamentations have not stopped. He will have any critics on anything. Then he will keep complaining that he has to take so many medicine (which is normal since it is required by all heart-by-pass pple). Den he keep saying his condition not improving. It's all in his mind lah. Den he say that he would rather not have gone for the surgery which he feels had make him worst. Rubbish. So selfish thoughts. Yah lorh! Dun go for surgery then get stroke then the whole family has to slog physically and financially to take care of him. By the way, that's what he say, he say he rather get stroke den go for surgery if he knew the outcome. Then my poor mum has to constantly take care of him, meeting to his 'buffet' needs. Non-stop calling my mum for this for that. Like my mum is the maid or the home nurse. Come on man, how old are you alreadi, not as if he is bedridden or wheelchair bounded. Then the worst is he will always verbally abused my mum. Then my mum is those who had been sloggin at home to take care of the family so is a bit kind of back-dated and she is really lousy at quarelling. So everytime she quarrels with him, she always put herself in down wind and always end up being abused verbally by my dad. Then my dad also nvr show her respect outside. He will either shout at her or make a spectacle. I still can ta han if he shout at me or try to pick a quarrel becoz i can handle it but not when he does it with my mum. Go pick on someone your size if you are a true man. Den he also one ungrateful person. Today he just say one of the nastiest things to my sis. My parents going to China so my sis bought an extra thermal gloves for them. So my dad commented they had more than enough and why she buy without asking HIM. Then he go on saying about the Korea trip which my sis went and she bought back this $1000 worth of Ginseng product for them. He say that it's a waste of money. Wat type of father is this. Being filial and this is the shit you get from him. Really i'm hitting my top. I think the frequency i'm hitting my top, my level has leveled to like lvl50. Very soon, i can up level to the next job level. Sometimes, even though i have a father, i feel like i have no father. I'm saying this not out of anger but in fact with sadness. I dun like to compare but when I see other people's father, i can only just stand there and envy. I'm sure every father is not perfect but at least i know their fathers love their family more than themselves. My dad is the opposite. He loves the family but he loves himself more. He has contributions to the family but it doesn't justify his responsiblity. All my life, honestly, I nvr learn anything from him nor is there anything that i want to model after him. The only thing i learn from him is not to follow his foot steps. But den again, it left a lot of holes in my growing up. I grew up insecured, inconfident, timid, unsocialable (intentional becoz afraid). Despite all these, I still give thanks to God. I nvr had a good role-model but den He showed me the way. He brought me out of the valley. He let me sit at the top of the mountain. He comforts me when i'm down. He encourages me when I fail. He praise me when I do well. He shows me what is right and He disciplines me when i'm wrong. He never fail me. He never stray away nor took a nap. He stood behind me, beside me, in front of me and above me. He is my Father in heaven.
Lord, I know my earthly father had failed as a father figure but I pray that you will take away any hatred, anger, bitterness or pain from me against him. I don't want to judge him. And I ask that with Your love, You will help to change him. And that at times when I'm blowing my top, Lord help me to calm down and may Your grace fill me. And even though he fail, You never fail and I thank You for guiding and caring for me like a shepherd to a lamb. And I pray that God, You will help me to become a good husband and father when i become one. Thank you Lord. Amen!
Lord, I know my earthly father had failed as a father figure but I pray that you will take away any hatred, anger, bitterness or pain from me against him. I don't want to judge him. And I ask that with Your love, You will help to change him. And that at times when I'm blowing my top, Lord help me to calm down and may Your grace fill me. And even though he fail, You never fail and I thank You for guiding and caring for me like a shepherd to a lamb. And I pray that God, You will help me to become a good husband and father when i become one. Thank you Lord. Amen!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
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Saturday, March 04, 2006
Mess Up????
It's really a long time i haven't blog. As usual, it's not becoz there's nothing to blog but really no desire to just sit down and blog. So many things have happen over the last 2 months. It's like time really flies. I went back as a helper to this SERVE program. I truly enjoyed it and really love the group i was in. Diakoneans. Servants of our God. Though a substantial age gap, i still was able to enjoy everybody's companion. But then time really flies and first the lecture phase was over and quickly the 1 week of mission trip is over. What can i say? But even as I slow down to think about this 2 months worth of SERVE, I just sense that I am using SERVE as a means of running away from reality. I'm really finding a chore in my studies. It's not that I hate studying but just that for my last 12 yrs of education, i had nvr truly done what I enjoy. Maybe it sounds like i'm a spoilt kid but I beg to differ. It's just that I nvr was built to be like part of the defined society. I'm good in numbers and bad in language and nvr was i given that chance to explore my forte. Instead i was clustered with things i nvr will enjoy. I'm trying to find a purpose. I just really want to get over with my studies. I got back my results and i just barely scrap pass which i was really very contended considering the amount of effort i had put in. And I honestly can't stand the pressure from my parents. Though they have been more liberal and not demanding me to show them the results, I know that deep in them, they want not just good but fantastic results. It has always been like this since young. A 80mark is not good enough becoz it shows that i do not know 20% of my stuff and i had to work harder to achieve that lost marks. So in my mentality, if i need to do anything, it is either i do it very well or i dun do at all. So I'm very paranoid over exams. When I study, I need to study everything or else i will feel very paranoid. I will keep thinking that if i miss out even 1 chpter, i'm going to do very badly. That's how bad it is. Even right now, though i know wat is the issue, i cannot fully remove such paranoid in me. I really feel mess up. And honestly, this is really a bad testimony to the youths I'm with. On one hand, i will encourage them to do their best even if they find it hard but yet myself, i'm like in a mess. Ironical? Hyprocritical? I dun know. Having said all these, I still want to draw myself back to God. I need to believe and I want to believe that what i'm going thru now, He has a plan for me. I may be suffering but His grace is sufficient. Help me Lord! Let me not be tested beyond my threshold! And even if it's over my limit, may I find your extra portion of You in me and I know i can soar like eagle's wings! Amen!
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