Mood Swing again

Monday:

What did i do? Let me think. I went to Changkat Changi Secondary Sch in the afternoon to do my volunteer work. And hmmmmm....... I guess I slack for the rest of the day.

Tuesday:

What did i do? Oh yah! The PC crashed once more. Thanks to my continuous abuse. The PC just couldn't get into Windows in the normal mode. Keep shutting down by itself and can only enter Windows in safe mode which is as good as useless. Guess have to reformat the PC for the dun know how many times in this first quarter of the year. After reformatting, took the PC to Challenger to upgrade the RAM. Presently running on pathethic 128RAM. Tortise speed I would say. Up to 384RAM. Then took the PC back home and left for evening class. Xian! Evening class. During class, got this auntie really low EQ. Keep asking question during lecture. Not that I'm against people clarifying doubts but most of her time her questions are 'bird language'. People! THINK before you ask. Is like every 5 minutes, you would hear that voice. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Thankfully I finished class without tearing my head and hair apart. haha.

Wednesday:

My mum's birthday. Actually not really her real birth date. Her real one was 2 Mar if i didn't remember wrongly. She was born during WW II. So her registration of her birth date was way after the date she was born. So that's why we celebrate much later. But nobody really cares becoz it didn't really matter. Had a class in the afternoon and was to meet for dinner at this Seafood Buffet at TM. Met my parents there and my sis was still on her way. Apparently the restrauant worked on the basis of pay first then eat. My sis was suppose to foot the bill but she wasn't there yet. My dad told that to the floor manager and then he just barge in and took a seat. The floor manager was like shaking his head in disbelief but yet knowing that customer comes first. I was really pai seh. And I was kinda in a mood swing. Many things happening and my emotions were really messed up. After my first round, I was too pai seh to go for antoher round. I suddenly felt like i was back to my old self - low self-esteem, fearful. I just sat there and stared out at the main entrance waiting anxiously for my sis to arrive. I dun know why but I just was in a real bad state. Then I started to feel very depressed. At 24, I can't even afford to foot that simple meal. I felt like a loser, a worthless person. I was nearing to tears, no joke. I was really very depressed. Thankfully my sis arrived and when the bill was settled, I was much relieved. I guess these few weeks had been a bit emotional for me. Managing my own life was tough. Finding out that my dad had 2 veins connecting to the heart blocked up. Thinking about his salvation but yet not really feeling for him as a father (this is another story which if i ever i got i chance, i will share) My mum at the age of 63 is still worrying for my studies. This is one thing that i am really sad about. I wish i could really do more and give a better life for my mum. I really feel like SCREAMING! argh! oK i'm done. Despite all these, I know that I cannot do without God. My mum sustained until now becoz she believes in God and always trusted in His providence and care. My sis works to take care of the family becoz she knows God wants her to take care of the family. I need to trust in God. Emotions are gifts from God and it is natural to feel the different emotions. But as we are experiencing the emotions let us not forget God. When we are happy, let's not forget God. When we are sad, let's not run away from God. I guess what I'm goin thru now is a form of moulding and strengthening of my character. Even at my downs, unless i come to God, I would never experience His healing and His strengths. I know at the end of the road, I would praise the Lord becoz He has made me to become a better man. Amen!