Deep Thoughts

I chanced upon an opportunity to speak with one of the youths. This young man was chatting with me about his upcoming exams. And what follows next was his future plan. And he was sharing about his past dreams. He told me that in the past he wanted to work in church and be a pastor. He just wanted to serve God and he does not mind the small pay as he was alone. He can easily make sacrifices and manage his own life by himself.
However, now he has a girlfriend and he also feels a deep responsiblity to support his parents. So he was telling me it was unlikely he would work in church and be a pastor because now with a girlfriend and eventually wife and his parents in mind, he had to consider his responsiblity to them as well.
Back in my mind, I was asking myself if this young man had moved away from the calling of God. But I realised maybe not. The initial calling could have been just part of God's plan to draw the young man to Him and lead him to another level of service. This young man continued to share that he hoped that in the future he could set up a NGO which will have housing to house orpans and provide for them education. I was touched by his passion for God and his people.
I spoke a word of encouragement to him before we parted ways. After he had spoken those words, somehow or rather I felt he was speaking my heart. I am alone in Cambodia and I am adapting perfectly well. My pay is good enough for me alone. I try to eat simply with an occasion of good treat. I am wearing a US$1.50 T-shirt and I have no complaints. Once in a while, I also do give treats to the youths and the church staff. It is easy to manage by myself.
But what if I have a partner? Can I still make decisions so freely? Can I just make sacrifices without considering the impact on my partner? I have lots of thoughts. As much as I hope to find a soul partner, I am not sure if there is one who is willingly to live such a simple lifestyle. I do not think I will find someone who is willingly to try out a lifestyle because I feel that by trying out means there is a possiblity of not adapting well. If there is no one who can live such a lifestyle, maybe it's better I live this lifestyle alone... Less pain... (I am not understating what God can do)Maybe I am not at the point where I can see the light.

At this moment, I think I will put this matter in the air. Maybe with a lighter head, things are clearer.