20 AUGUST (SAT)

24 YEARS! MY! MY! Time really flies. 24 years just went by! I completed 2 cycle of my chinese horoscope. I still remembered when i was young, i was still worrying about PSLE, 'O' Level, 'A' Level, army and now it's like all these are history. Honestly, it's kinda scary. I somehow feel that I have not lived enough of my youthfulness and i'm in adulthood. Sometimes, I do feel like a young boy trapped in an adult body. So i guess that's why at times i act so kiddish! And as a kid, there's no responsibilty, there's freedom. I just really feel like running away from responsibility and be contended with whatever i have! I have frens who are 1 or 2 years older than me and they have alreadi started working for a few years. And some of them are married and alreadi have their first kid. My! My! What am i doing now? I'm still studying, unattached, penniless, liability to the family, hmmm, i guess the list can go on forever if i want to. Honestly, i'm taking every step by faith. Literally, living practically on God's grace. My next 5-6 year plan: graduate and start work by 25, get married by 28, have my first baby b4 30. Hmmm! I must be crazy. Haiz! Somehow i dun really look forward to celebrate birthday. In the past, as a kid, always looking forward to the cake, presents and the atmosphere and attention but den somehow things turn around when it hit into adulthood. Had quite a fun 21 birthday but honestly, i wasn't really that excited. Now 3 years had passed from that year, it didn't get better. I would actually prefer to just spend time on my birthday with frens, dun have to be something grand, just sit down over a meal and i'm really very contended.
Then again, having spilling out all my troubles, I have to give thanks to God! I may be very confused, struggling with issues in my life, I know God is there with me. And He had also blessed me with a lot of people who shower me with love. I thank God for Charles and even Emily. Charles had been a very wonderful and wise brother and mentor and with Emily now with him, I see a more complete person in Charles. And their relationship is something that really encourage me. I'm also thankful for William and Lydia. This couple are a testimony of God's love. They are also wise and tactful and being a mentee, i have benefitted so much from them. I thank God also for Daniel whom though is a total different character from me but yet he is always the one making the effort to fellowship. And there is also David and Veron, another couple who reflect the true man and woman of God. They are also my mentor who has been very loving and caring. There are also many other people in church i want to thank! The church staff, those partners 'in-crime' of the different ministries, and many many more! And also the bunch of youths that I have been hanging out. Though of a substantial age difference, i could blend in pretty well with them. This group of youths are like my peers even though I'm much MATURE and OLDER and WISER than them. I really appreciate them a lot! And i do treasure them really like my own brothers and sisters because I have asked God to give me a bunch of 'brats' for me to take care of. I still remember I was around 19 or 20 when during an altar call, I told the priest to pray for me that God will reveal His plan for me and that if it's His will to bring people into my care! And I thank God for His providence because I really benefitted from this relationship with all these youths. They in a way are my mental, pschological support. I just pray hard that God will raise these kids to become men and women of God!