Quality Time....

Today went to visit granny with my mum. So both of us were alone together and while on the MRT, we were chit-chatting. Very rare occasion, i must say. While most of the time, it was her talking but I enjoyed every minute of it. She will be talking abt things in the past, when she was young till her adulthood and etc. Haha! Really interesting. Today, after 25 year existence on earth, I finally heard the story about how she met my dad. She was saying that after graduation, she had been working for a few years. Then she decided to quit and go to Hawaii for holidays. At that time, she was staying at her parents shop houses. So got this neighbour shophouse uncle whom the family know wanted to recommend to my mum this guy who is a Hainanese and single. Hehe. So my granny was asking my mum to try to go and know him as a fren first lorh. But my mum decline becoz she said she not interested and that she is going for 3 months overseas holiday. So she nvr got to know him and she left for Hawaii. Den after 3 months, when my mum came back, she found out that the guy was staying in one of the romm of the neighbour's shophouse. But den nvr got to see him. So the 'kay poh' neighbour once again went to 'ka jiao' my mum. So finally after much persuasion, she finally agreed to try to meet him. Den got once, he was sitting outside the shophouse while my mum came out of the shophouse. As my mum needed to run an errand, she was in a rush and he nvr got to see her. Den finally when they met, he said to my mum, "wow, you walked so fast, until i can't see you" haha! Den my mum was saying her first impression of him wasn't too good. Dun know how to dress. 'Orh biang' Haha! Well! After that, all is history. haha! I dun know. You may think it's a fairy tales ending after all these. I won't dare to say so. I know my mum had suffered and sacrificed so much for the family. And she will always advised me to marry a Christian girl. I know where she is coming from. She is not against non-Christians girls but she knows that if I want to serve God fully, I will need the support and help of one who knows God's heart. And I truly agree with her, having her as life-experience example. She never had the spiritual support from her husband, she has to deal with his irresponsibilities but yet not neglecting her responsibilities. And I must say all these are not becoz she is a mentally strong person but becoz she simply trust in God. She may have regretted getting married to a non-Christian man but her faith grew stronger everyday. But yet i must say, it's not an easy life. Marrying to a Christian partner doesn't mean that there are no problems or issues. All these still exists but we know that God is in control and when it comes to differences, we bring it to God to settle it. But if one partner isn't a Christian, he/she will not be able to understand this, and a lot of times friction turns into bush fires.

From my own family, these are the things that will happen if one of the partner is not a Christian:

1) No spiritual authority or support

For ladies whose husband is not a Christians, there is no spiritual authority in the sense, that God has placed the authority in the hands of the man of the household. If the man is not a believer, then how can he exercise God-given authority. And like-wise, as a man, and if your partner is not a Christian, she will not be able to understand your involvement in church. Initially, she may be fine with your involvement but after a while she may resent tat you are spending too much time in church. There's no spiritual support from her side. After a while, you may be battling to a sad ending. Well! All these can be resolved if the partner is converted. True! i agreed that there are such real-life cases but den firstly it's by God's grace and secondly, let's not forget there are also many cases that didn't succeed.

2) Different belief may result in unnecessary friction

Maybe when both parties are studying or just got to know each other, there is more room for freedom and also grace. But as time goes by, the non-believing party may be wondering why the other party is spending so much time in church. Look at it this way. When you start working, every weekday, you work from 8-6pm. (not including OT and blah blah blah) So it leaves you with weekend as your free time. For me, weekend is nearly all spent in church. (I'm not a fanatic, it's just that my main social circle revolves mainly in church) So how am i able to spend time with my non-believing partner. (well! yes again! the prob will be solved if she is converted! But let's put it this way, I dun wan to take unnecessary risk!) And after a while, the other party will feel that you are placing church over them.

3) Compromising

This usually happen when Christians try to resolve the above problems. "I will simply manage my time spent in church" First will be "I will go for only Sunday service and Friday Cell" Den next will be "I will only go for Sunday service" and next will be "I will attend Easter and X'mas svc" and next will be........... Cutting down the time commitment in church so as to be with their partners. Hmmmm......

4) Unable to fully worship God

I guess this is the main reason why I would not want to have a non-Christian partner. If she never get to convert, I will never be able to fully worship God. Why? Becoz a part of me is not able to worship God. If you understand, when two comes together, they become one. And if you do realise, when 2 come together, it is more than just the lovey dovey part but most importantly, the 2 shd help each other to better worship God! I can't imagine myself trying to worship God and yet in my mind having the burden that she is not saved. I need one who not only love God but also one who can assist me in walking the path the Lord has set for us.

I'm not saying that having a non-believing partner is wrong or a sin. I just feel that there are alot of things to look into before you want to make this choice. And all i can say is there's consequences for every action. If it's a good move, you shd praise God for His grace and love. If it's a bad move, den all i can say is people make mistakes and you shd simply just move on in God's grace and love.

I make this prayer to God. I told Him that I will only wait for a Christian lady who fear and love Him and that she likewise will only wait for a Christian guy who fear and love Him. Sometimes when I think about, I thought that I was plain foolish. Haha! What am I asking for? I must be out of my mind. Maybe? Maybe not! Let this be a test of my faith! Let this be a chance for me to witness the faithfulness of God!