Hmmmm... Thinking... Thinking.... Thinking....

Well! Updates updates updates! Hasn't been updating since CNY! And a lot of things on mind keeping me thinking and thinking.
Got my results back! Woohoo! The sky crush on me! Well! What to expect from just studying enuff to pass. Either you barely pass or you fail. Another semester to go. Hate it. Ok! Xianjie, stop being an idiot and just study hard and I meant real hard and get over with this exams. Despite this bad news, I saw God's mercy and grace. I was so afraid to tell my mum because she will torment me with her naggings and honestly, I am a bit mentally unsound after all these years of torture. I delayed the news for a week and to my surprise, my mum just came up to me, ask me abt the results and causually said that if I need to resit any paper, den better study hard. I nearly fainted. She spoke the words of mercy. Haha! I believe it is God who had 'inspired' her to say such things.
Well! Having the whole sky crushing on me is bad enuff. The whole earth underneath gave way. WooHoo. Double K.O. Oh dear me! Why am I so poor thing? Why? Why? Ok enuff of self-pitying. Back to reality. I guess it just means that I really have to even more depend on God. Lord, help me fix my eyes on You!
Got a few weeks to sort out my mess and emotions and then I realised it's time for me to teach in Alpha. Actually, I am looking forward to it. It's such a challenge. Beside presenting the message, how do you catch their attention? I thought I shall be lame. Incorporating lame sound effects into my powerpoint. That was the 1st lesson. Ok lah! Not too bad lah but i guess i shd have used better quality sound effect instead. hahaha. That day's topic was on how to resist the evil. We need to put on the armor of God - belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, boots of the gospel, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and sword of the Spirit.
And the following week's topic was How do I tell others abt Christianity? We need to firstly, in our action convinced others that we are Christians, secondly, to find opportunity to tak about our faith, thirdly, to share about what God has done in our life, fourthy, to ask God to empower our sharing and lastly, to pray that God will open our spiritual blindness and to give us the boldness to share.
After these 2 sharings, I really thank God. I look back 7-8 years ago and I will never have dare to stand up in front so many people to share. Fear. self-consciousness, denial, whatever reason it may be, I knew that the Lord has helped me to overcome. I remember the point of time when i was asked to teached the JYs when we were still in Eastpoint mall using the Montersorri. Initially, I was very reluctant because I just didn't feel comfortable and confident. Nevertheless, I took up the task. Initially, I struggled and I felt that I was really lousy. I didn't even know what I was saying. Haha! But as time passed, the Lord granted me the boldness and wisdom. And I really thank God because I know I humbled myself before Him and ask Him to use me instead of me using my own talents. Even right now, I dare not say I'm doing a fantastic job and I'm still learning and all I know is that I got to trust in Him. My encouragement to all is that never stop trying for the Lord, never be disheartened and continue to fix our eyes on Him.