6 July 2005

And today was definitely quite a sad day for many, i suppose! A fren has just left Aus for studies. Well I guess it is more than losing a fren temporary for many others. To the Youth Ministry is losing a valuable key role model. To the Church is losing her service and her presence. To the girls, it is losing a Jie Jie. Well i guess people come by and goes away and one thing i learn is that nobody is indispensable. So even as the Church and Youth Min look like have lost a valuable resource but I rather think that she has to go somewhere else for God to mold her and at the same time, God is going to raise up people to fill in her space while she is away. And as for the girls (listen carefully), yes, it may take time to adapt to the new situation where the Jie Jie is no longer there. But I think it is also a good time that you all to start to follow the footstep of your Jie Jie. And that is to be a Jie Jie to the other younger girls. I guess this 1 and 1/2 yrs that when she is away, you can choose to either to wait for the "Return of the Jie Jie'' and be comfortably in her embrace or to rise up and take up the responsibility (which ur Jie Jie did) and do exactly to the younger girls as what ur Jie Jie had done to you. A shepherd boy will never become a true shepherd if all he ever does is to follow behind the shepherd master. Until the shepherd boy starts to shepherd the sheeps by himself, then will he ever become a full shepherd. And i believe that is also the wish of your Jie Jie. So we shall see at the end of the 1 and 1/2 yrs, how much you all have grown without the shepherd master.

Well this event also reminded me of my own opportunity to go Aus to study. I think it was abt 3 yrs ago. But eventually i didn't go. I guess i'm just too afraid to leave my comfort zone and go into an unknown ground all by myself. I'm just a person who is not comfortable or even have phobia of changes and uncertainties. I just dun work well with all these factors. It freaks me out to be alone, initially no frens, unknown to the surroundings, different culture, different people, this and that. As you can see, i'm a worrying freak. I think i will most prob be crying everyday. Haha! Yay! I'm a cry baby too! But i guess one or i would choose to believe to be the reason is that GOd nvr wanted me to go. He intended me to stay behind. And this 3 yrs were very crucial for me. I joined church for a year and thru this service, i learn many things. And also in these last 2 yrs, i see the youth ministry growing and i'm glad to be part of it. When you see and experience growth and revival, it has an impact on your own life.

Hmm! I still want to go Aus! But for a leisure trip. But at the same time I would like to go for a short trip of 3 mths to Cambodia as well. I'm in a dilemma. I will most probably go for either trip after my studies which is like beginning of yr 2007. And most probably i will have onli enough resources to go for one of the trip. Haiz! Why i worry now. Still like got 1 and 1/2 yrs to go. Haha! Worry-Freak. But i still most prob will choose Cambodia. I just love that place. Somehow i feel that i was born in tat country. Haha!