Loneliness - A Curse or is there something more to it

I happened to 'bump' into this website and somehow it caught my attention. The content inevitably spoke into a part of me and I really took some time to think about it. Here are some of the things I have cut-and-paste from the article:
(original website: http://www.actsweb.org/daily.php?id=409)

"Ron Clarke of Tasmania shared how "one of England's great poets, Rupert Brooke, who died in 1915, wrote the following note: 'I felt a trifle lonely before I left Liverpool; everybody seemed to have people to see them off. So I went back on shore and found a dirty little boy who was unoccupied, and said his name was William. 'Will you wave to me if I give you sixpence, William?' I said. 'Why, yes,' said William. So I gave him sixpence and went on board. When the time came he leaned over the railing on the landing stage and waved. So I got my six-pennyworth and my farewell—thanks to William.'"

"How very sad. Karen and Richard Carpenter in one of their popular songs some time ago sang with deep meaning, "Loneliness, it's such a sad affair … and I can hardly wait to be with you again…." How true these words were for Karen who starved herself to death because of her own loneliness and the feeling of not being loved. Being popular and in the limelight can never compensate for the need for close, loving relationships. I believe it was Janis Joplin, another popular vocalist, who said that the only time she felt okay was when she was on stage. The rest of the time she suffered from deep loneliness. She, too, took her own life with an overdose of Heroin in 1970. Even though "her career lasted only a few years, she has been hailed as the greatest white female blues singer who ever lived."

"The fact is we were created for relationships and while it may not be the most desirable, we can live without romantic love, but we cannot live healthily without close, loving relationships. Within the Holy Trinity God is in relationship, and one of the first things Jesus did when he commenced his ministry was to choose the twelve disciples "that might be with him." And while he never married, he certainly had close friendships with Mary and Martha as well as with their brother, Lazarus. And if Jesus needed close friends, how much more do we? "To be, is to be in relationship."

I guess there are times when we do feel that loneliness, as if no one is there, no one understands you, no one cares for you, you are nobody. I feel that too! But i choose not to believe because that's what Satan wants you to believe. I'm not saying that we should deny our feeling of being lonely but rather we should not be so deep into feeling lonely that we shut ourselves from the world. Satan wants to shut you from other people so that you will have no ways to receive help from others and slowly, you will be disillusioned and before you know it, you are gone! Don't just sit there and cry over our sorrows but stand up, face it and learn to deal with it.

And another lesson I learn is that when we have no one close with us, we feel intense loneliness, misery, sorrow, ..... (fill in your own blank). If i would take a step further, how much more pain, sorrow,... will we feel if we are alone without God. God has created us so that we can have a relationship with Him. Even before we were created, God has always believe in relationship. He Himself existed as 3, the Trinity. 1 is alone, 2 is a couple and 3 is a crowd. He had always wanted to relate to one another and we created in His image will desire to be in a relationship. And most importantly, be in an intimate relationship with God.


(taken from: http://godonline.co.za/Article833.html)
"We’ve all experienced some form of loneliness, but there are some who experience such deep loneliness that it feels as if it has permeated the heart and soul. You are not alone! Your Father knows you completely and understands your loneliness better than anyone else- AND – there is absolutely nothing you can hide from Him!

He created you and He loves you more than human understanding. Grasp that with your whole being and know that He is with you always!"

And here something I believe it's a hope for us. Our Father knows how we feel and He definitely can sympahtise with us. He definitely has not abandoned nor forsaken us. He is always with us, ALWAYS!

After reading all these and you want to make a differnce, here's some help:
(taken from:
http://www.backtothebible.org/
lifeissues/relationships/what_you_can_do_loneliness.htm)
"God can use the pain of loneliness to move you into a deeper relationship with Himself and others, as an opportunity to learn, grow, deepen, develop and mature. What Satan has designed for evil, God can use for good. We can become more than conquerors (Rom. 8:37). But where do we start?

First, seek fellowship with God. Thank Him and praise Him for His person, His promises and His lovingkindness. That's what David did in Psalm 142. Pour out your heart to Him in prayer. Share your concerns, hurts, fears, frustrations and discouragements.

Second, notice what you are telling yourself about your loneliness. On a sheet of paper, complete the phrase "I am lonely because . . ." ten times. Are you blaming yourself, God, other people, fate or circumstances? These may be excuses to keep you from trusting God and risking growth. On the back of that paper, write ten specific promises from God's Word regarding His love and His plans and provisions for you.

Third, develop some creative options. What are the possibilities? Thank God that you don't have to suffer from chronic loneliness. Take another sheet of paper and complete the phrase "With God's help I can. . ." ten times. What haven't you tried? What have you tried that you can try again? Talk to others who have overcome loneliness and find out what worked for them. "

"Most lonely people have inadequate communication skills, which make reaching out even more threatening. A valuable fourth step for lonely people is to work on increasing your communication skills. John Powell, in his book Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? lists five levels of communication.

Level 1: Circle Conversation. Small talk is safe because there is no real sharing of ourselves.

Level 2: Reporting the Facts About Others. This is also fairly safe for lonely people. There is little risk involved in reporting the ideas of other people. Approximately 90 percent of the communication of those who suffer from chronic loneliness takes place at Level 1 or Level 2.

Level 3: Sharing My Ideas and Judgments. Here we begin to take some risk. As I tell you some of my opinions, I will be watching you carefully to see your reaction. If you respond favorably, then we can probably go to the next level. If not, then I will play it safe and stay at Level I or 2.

Level 4: Sharing My Feelings. When we share our feelings, we tell another person a lot about us. Because of the fear of rejection and failure, sharing feelings can be risky. But it provides a unique opportunity for growth. If we don't take the risk and share, we are guaranteed failure.

Level 5: Peak Communication. This involves complete commitment and trust. We know we are safe, so there is no need to held back. Powell compares Level 5 communication to two musical instruments playing in perfect harmony.

Now it's time to take action. Sitting around feeling bad and waiting for something to happen is not what the Bible means when it talks about "redeeming the time." Don't ignore your feelings, but do take your eyes off yourself and your problems and focus on specific things you can do. If you have followed my suggestions so far, then you already have a number of options. Make a list of the ideas you came up with and put them in order, starting with the easiest and least threatening task first. Start the change process by taking some small and safe steps.

Since our patterns of thinking and responding have taken years to develop, they won't change overnight. In fact, an overnight transformation is probably only a surface or cosmetic change. Meaningful change involves a series of small steps and takes time. The process is usually simple, but it is rarely easy.

Also remember that, although you often feel alone, you are not alone. God designed us to be in relationship. One of the many effects of the Fall was the creation of a barrier between God and man and between man and other men. One of the results of the cross was to provide a basis for restoring our relationship with God and with one another. We don't all have to become extroverts, but we all need some companionship and a few close friends. What God has promised, He will accomplish--if, with His help, we are willing to set aside our fears, trust Him, and by faith take some new steps."



Cursed? I have my doubts. Loneliness is very much alive but it is not a terminal illnes. In fact, it draws me to the point that I am not meant to be a lone ranger but one who needs companionship of close friends and most importantly a relationship with God. And even when man fails, God is still faithful. Let's put our faith in God.