刹那；永远

在每一刻，在每一秒
的刹那间

在多美好，在多煎熬
的刹那间

彩虹的缤纷也只不过是雨后的刹那间
彩虹的希望却成为我永远
花朵的芬芳也只不过是春天的刹那间
花凋而结果却成为我的永远

也许吧！可能吗？是否。。。。。

Farewell = Eat More

Haha! Have been eating quite a fair bit this week. Haiz..... Wait later go Cambodia, then the people there instead of saying Skom, they say Twuat to me. Skom = slim, Twuat = Fat. Hahahaha.......

Met Gerald and ShuLing for dinner on Tuesday for dinner at Ma Maison. Me very SK. Never hear before. And I realise that I don't know alot of places. I think I am just simply not adventurous to go around explore restaurants. Haha! French cum Jap cuisine. I ordered a Hamburger Steak. Interesting taste! Haha! I expected a pure beef burger patty taste. They added some spice into it that make the taste very unique. Thank you very much my friends for these treats. After dinner, we just couldn't decide where to go. Since we had to wait for Shirley, we stayed at Bugis Junction and had ice-cream. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.. What's the brand of ice-cream we ate? Start with V... but don't know what lah! The one at the side of MOS burger. Hahahaha. Ate Tiramisu and Strawberry Cheesecake icecream. I simply love Cheesecake. haahhahahaha. Gerald super funny. TEASING SHULING NONE STOP!!! ^.* tsk tsk......

Wednesday met William for lunch. Ate Sakae Sushi. Did some catching up.
Evening went to the Japanese Restaurant beside Tampines Swimming Complex to meet my Secondary School mates. This wasn't a farewell for me but I still ate quite a fair bit. Hahahaha

Thursday ate lunch with Eleanor and Daniel. Eleanor treated me at 18 Chefs. Woo hooo. Ordered Creamy Mango Salmon Baked Rice. Lovely.... Salmon......

Friday which is tmr will also be a feasting day. Lunch will be farewell from church staff. Then in the evening I have to attend this National Day dinner meant for the grassroots.......

Wah..........Eat and eat and eat and eat none stop. How to lose it? Hahaha...... And I just tried something in church pantry. Hahaha..... I bought those frozen prata and I toast in using a normal toaster. It works perfectly fine. Then recently, the church bought apples as gifts for the nurses in the hospital. There were extras. So I took 1 apples, cut it into thin slice and put it on a prata and sprinkle brown sugar on it and toast it. Wah!!! VEry delicious ney.... hahahahah! Highly recommended dessert. Add Ice-cream to perfect it. ahahhahahahahaha

I should come up with a book - "10 Effective ways to make yourself Twuat-er''

Hhahahahahahaa

Upper 2nd Class Honours

Got the official letter that shows my class of honours. Got Upper 2nd Class Honours. Really thank God for this. With the results I had and the last minute attempt of my project, it is really God's hands at work to get this class. As much as I have this 'silverware', it is a good platform for me to move on. However, like what Paul said in Philippians 3

7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

Not that I despise or not value what I have gotten but rather what I have is by God's providence and that the only thing I can boast about is that it is God's providence. And in comparison, this gift never outstand the gift of knowing Christ. Even though the gift of that piece of paper may lead me to good 'life' but my life is no longer for myself as I know I have received the best gift who has the best life plan for me.

May I not lose sight of the one and best gift and forsake it for many other 2nd best rewards.

酸与苦

一年里, 我真正的尝到什么是酸, 什么是苦.
心酸. 为什么叫做"心酸"?
因为心真的好象被酸性的感触被腐蚀.

苦往肚里吞. 为什么往肚里吞?
因为当有苦时却无法述说或表达, 肚里真的感觉有点闷闷的, 有点象被困在气水中的气.

好无奈. 好孤独. 但却不能象一般的孩子发牢骚, 发脾气. 长大了. 必须象一个大人, 要面对问题, 要解决问题. 但这一切我个人是办不到. 需要上帝的力量和恩典. 需要周围人的关怀和不断的祷告.

这是我的成长的过程.

That ROLL of PAPER

Dear BSc graduate

Oxford Brookes University BSc (Hons) in Applied Accounting

Following the decision of the Oxford Brookes University BSc (Hons) in Applied Accounting Examination Board held on 22 July 2008, I am pleased to inform you that you have PASSED your Research and Analysis Project, and that Oxford Brookes University has AWARDED you the BSc (Hons) in Applied Accounting degree.



This is the email I have long waited for! It is so sweet to read it. Finally, everything has paid off. It was a long journey and at times real dreadful and disillusioning. But the Lord is faithful. He neither sleep nor slumber. He is always there for me. I just cannot contain my joy.

I HAVE GRADUATED..............................

Next thing will be taking a graduate photo with my family. Hopefully I can do it when I'm back in October. And hopefully I can shed some spare tyre for this ocassion. Hahahahhaha!!!

And for now, the academic hurdle is over. The next hurdle is Dad! May the Lord be merciful!

Farewell No1

My Youth Small Group went out for my farewell after 1st service. Sadly, Ding Yi couldn't join us. I'm so going to miss my small group when I'm away. Haizzz........ So after much deciding and finger-guessing, we went to Billy Bombers at Century Square. (hmmm irony.. hahahaha..nvm) I had a Obama ???? Buger. Nice burger but messy. The chesse was so slippery till the patty kept slipping out of the burger. But love it. And we had a great time chit-chatting. And I thought we were very productive in our talk. Not those hehehaha kind but informal and yet enjoyable discussion about topics and stuff on our faith. That's the kind of things that we shd be talking about and sharing in our friendship. (Well, there will still be times when we talked 'rubbish' lah)

After the lunch, Clement need to leave for project, Wei Peng need to go off. So I was left with 5 lovely ladies. Wahhhh......... Can't ask for anything more! hahahaha! So went to Swensen to eat ice-cream. Ordered 10 scopes icecream and 1 Crumpler with ICeCream. Wahhahaha.... Shiok! Den what do you do when you have 5 girls around you? YOu talked about girls things. hahahahaha! Well! I guess I have a sister so I'm not too 'bothered' or paiseh when such topics are being talked. In fact, I think if the topics are talked about objectively, it is in fact pretty informative and educative. Hahahahhaa! Another time of productive sharing. Hahahhaa.... Haiz......... SO going to miss small group.

Why Do Woman Cry?

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?"Because I'm a woman," she told him."I don't understand," he said.His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's O.K.".......
Later the little boy asked his father,"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?"."All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered.... .."When I made woman,I decided she had to be special.I made her shoulders strong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,made her arms gentle enough to give comfort..
I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly.....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside himunfalteringly. ...
For all of this hard work, I also gave her a TEAR to shed. It is hers to usewhenever needed and ! it is her ONLY weakness....
When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even thoughshe may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
She is SPECIAL!!!

MCP

You may not have good role model for marriage. That's fine! I can understand. But if you think you know everything about marriage and that your way is the way, den don't marry. Don't ruin a young fine lady's life.

You may not have a good parenting history. That's fine! i can understand. But if you think that you are king over everybody and that you treat your children like your subordinates, den dun have children (and most prob you shdn't be getting married too). Don't cause your children to have bad memories of growing up and have a vacuum in their life.

Why are there MCPs in this world? The world will be so much more peaceful without them. Less people will have to suffer from their tormentations. Or why don't they all gather and go and live at some high mountains where they can boast about their ego and throw around their 'fatty trotters'.


I reacted so badly at today's soccer training. We weren't playing well. But that wasn't why I reacted. I know everybody was playing their best. I was frustrated. On one hand, we were all around the field and secondly, we were being 'slaughtered'. I was really upset. Every week we come for the training match, most of the time we were being taken 'advantage'. Our defence was as thin as usual on every week, our mid is still trying to adapt without the presence of Darren and the uncles were all out with their full force. It is frustrating that after so long, we were still not finding ground. It seemed like the youths were still so 'inadequate' especially for the defence. Running out of position, committing unnecessarily, I'm not saying I'm good, I'm still learning. But I just feel that to enjoy the game, let's keep to the basic. Get the basic right and steady. I feel it so unfair that we have to play with the uncles when the whole team is so unprepared. I am not a soreloser. I believe in playing and losing a game with pride. But I don't believe in playing a lost game. And even as I reflected on why I reacted so badly, I realised I have alot of frusrtration at home with my dad. How he unfairly bully his way with my mum and my sis and me when we were young and there is nothing we could do about it. Even now he still push his way around. It makes me fuming mad when he bully my helpless mum. And I guess that's how i felt on the field. The helpless team was being 'bullied' and there's nothing 'much' I could do. (DISCLAIMER: It is a reaction. I am not saying that the uncles bullied us)

I admit I didn't react in a way justifying and glorifying to God. Maybe it is a Learning Moment for me. It is an area of my life that I have to deal with. Instead of turing to frustration, learn to be objective and positive in the approach. Definitely not easy. 27 years worth. But it is something that have to be dealt with.

Lord! May I find peace in You. In such times, may I not react negatively. Help me to deal with it positively. Help me to be an encourager in such times.

PERFECT = TOTAL SUBMISSION

In the midst of preparing a topic for the For Men For Women series during the Youth Fellowship. I was tasked to speak on the topic Premarital Sex. Hmmmmm. How interesting! So much things to talk but just not sure what to talk. Haha.....

Even as I was preparing for this topic, I was always reminded about principles. Why did God create or allow sex? What is His orignal intention for sex? It was meant for a man and woman, convenanted together, to enjoy in the relationship. That is the original intention. That is the principle.

It is so interesting to talk about this topic of Man and Woman. So much things, explanined and unexplained, explained again and again and I guess we can go all out to try to rationalise, emotionalised, physcialised and blah blah, but I think the key to all this is total SUBMISSION to the intention that the Lord has.

I was born into a family where there were alot of differences. Or rather the different one was my dad. (ops!) When I was very young, I always witnessed the quarrels and battles my parents went through. And mind you, most of the time, it was over so trival things. As I grew older, I came to a conclusion that for a couple to at least try to live in harmony, they need to have a lot of common interest, characteristics, lifestyle so as to minimise differences.

With that, that was my perception of perfect marriage. So for a while, I went around looking for the 'perfect' one. In my late teens and young adult period, there was something that really kept me puzzled but yet amazed. I had seen a few couples (in church)with quite obvious differences in characters, were genuinely happy living together, serving together. Initially, I kept observing them, 'hoping' that this examples are not in sync with my original perception. But I was proved wrong. After time, they were still living vey happily and in fact, their relationship was stronger. I wondered why. After much questioning, I realised that it was the Magnet theory. The opposite attracts. Though with differences, they most probably had tried to endure and to compliment each other in their differences. That must be it. A couple with very similiar views, characters will live happily together. Even if the couple is very different, they still can live happily together by enduring and complimenting each other in their differences. That's it! The perfect equation to a happy marriage. I thought I had found the answer to what men and women had been struggling all these generations. I was a genius. Hahaha! But, I realised a flaw. As much as I had try to equate a perfect formulae, why are there still failures in marriage? Many failures started off with couples who are compatible. Everybody around them also thinks so. But why did they still fail? And also many failures were due to irreconileable differences. So it seems obvious that differences can never co-exists together. Great! My theories are as good as the earth is square. There is no PERFECT marriage.

In my pursuit for an answer, I came to the Lord, the authentic Creator. As I seek and ask, the Lord impressed upon me this. Perfect = Total Submission. In a relationship, the key to success or at least harmony is TOTAL SUBMISSION to the Lord. Both the man and woman submit to the Lord. The wife submitting to the authority that the Lord has placed upon the husband. The husband submitting to the help that the Lord has send through the wife. This is the key to a PERFECT marriage. Let me qualify the word PERFECT marriage. It is not a state where differences, unhappiness and negative emotions are absent. But rather is that in such times, both the man and woman come before the Lord with their differences, surrendering their rights and submitting to the will of the Lord. The man is the head of the household not becoz he is of higher being but rather it is the authority that the Lord has placed upon him. So he has no right in the sense to bulldozer his way and rights in demanding that everything he says is right. And to all men, with great power comes great responsibility. If you cannot run the family well, be prepared to answer that to God. As well for the wives, you are not under the men becoz you are of lower being but rather the authority of the Lord is placed upon the men. The Lord has made wives to be the helper for their husbands. (most likely God thought that if you leave men alone or together, they will messed up the whole thing ;p )You can expressed your views and expectations but at times learn to take a step back and submit to the authority of the Lord. Even when the men is persistently stubborn and you know it is a wrong move (as long as it is not a major or fatal decision) In such case, let the men do their way. When things go wrong, just be there alongside with them to support them (and give the 'i-told-you-so' smile). There will never be a 'Fairy Tale Marriage' but you can choose to have a 'Godly Marriage'. TOTAL SUBMISSION to the Lord.

Well! I know with such a short reflection, it is not going to address much issues but I still believe in the principles, the original intention the Lord has. So I do hope that we, in pursue of anything, that we understand the principles that the Lord have for that matter. May we submit ourselves to the Lord's will in all things we do! Amen!

ChineseCampSkit (by the Youth)

The voice recording was pretty bad. So endure the different segments that have the 'screeching' sound! At the same time, enjoy!

(the 1st minute is black screen)

PART 01



PART 02

MY KHMER NAME

Paradox

..................Xianjie.......................


ខ្ញុំមិនបានសរសេរឈ្មោះ

Toiletphobic

I am starting to have phobia of going to the singular toilet cubicle. It seems like I have enuff experience with unlocked doors. Nope! Not me forgetting to lock the door but opening the door to a surprised 'client'.(i am as much shocked as the client) All these experiences have been in my church. Twice were 2 ladies. Thkfully, I have a habit of opening the door a distance away where my vision is restricted. So I only see slight body movement and I panicked and screeched with a quick closing of the door. Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. Traumastised. Another incident was when I opened the door and see someone in an awkward position. Hehehehehe. Somebody was standing beside the basin with 1 leg in the basin. I was stunned for a few seconds. And it was somebody whom I knew who turned around, looked at me and smiled. I nearly fainted. Another was somebody brought a girl from OLO to the toilet and forget to lock. Wah. I opened the door and the helper was like staring at me giving me the shocked look. I think the little girl was also frightened. Happily doing her 'biz' and there appeared a big bad wolf! hahahha! I was so paiseh! Haizzzzz...........

Now it leaves a shadow in my life. Now I am so cautious when I visit toilet. I will make sure I knock the door to ensure that no existing client is still in the midst of biz dealing. And also, I am paranoid over if I have locked the doors myself. I will over a few times keep checking if the door is locked. ARhhhhhhhhhh................. What have I done to myself? I think I may need to see a psychiatrist soon. hahahahahahaha

Dig a HOLE

Dig a hole to bury myself, thinking that it will go away. It did not!
Dig a hole, the deeper the better, thinking that it will be well hidden away. It did not! In fact, the deeper it was the more sorrowful it became.
Dig a hole and hide the hole, hoping for an eye for an eye. I did not!
Then, why am I painstakingly digging a hole? I don't know! It seems like I never wanted to dig a hole but now the spade is in my hand. What can I do? What should I do?
The answer seems to be dig a hole and then cover it up again! I don't know what it means. Maybe in the future, the Lord will bring light to the 'hole'.

Tulip

First time dealing with Tulip! Wah, super hard siah! The stem like 'nuah nuah chi buah' type one. Cannot fix at one position. Had a hard time trying to make a bouquet. But finally finish, though not too satisfied but still a commendable effort! hahaha!

Youth Sunday

Some photos of the Youth Sunday in church (morning)
and soccer match (late afternoon)


Act Cute! What else can we do! :)


............................


Ok! Spot the rose among the thorns!!!


Can't find the rose? Try again.............


My small group! So blessed to have them! (missing: Ding Yi, Wei Peng, Jamie and Natanielle)


An arty foto tat i took!


I'm quite pro at taking this jumping photo alreadi! hahaahaha!


The Boss.........................


Don't they all look good in this colours!!!


Talking about looking good! hahaha.............


The picture sums up the story! We are the victorious MACHO BOYS!


It's me with the trophy! Won this Youth Cup with the youths for the 2nd time over 3 seasons. I wonder how long i can play for the youths........

TESTIFY TO LOVE

The youths of SACC dance to this piece of beautiful music. (Video of the dance will be up shortly. The dance is choreographed by Wen Yuan)

CamProstitue

Honestly, I have no idea who came up with this word - Camwhore. I doubt if the word even existed. Someone just decided to be cheeky about it. Yes! I know in this new era, almost everybody has a camera and it is so convenient and everybody can take photos at any time, any where, any how and any whatever. But that does not mean we can anyhow use such a word to describe such action. Well! If you care to check the dictionary, whore simply means prostiute. I dun see any compliment or excitement in camprostituting myself. I dun know. The world is going into this time where there is so much freedom of speech that there is little or no integrity and dignity left. What's next? CamFxxx? I dun know! I'm not perfect! I am still subsceptible to vulgar and crude language but at least I'm aware and I know I make an effort to change. For every unworthy word we splurt out, it brings injustice to what Christ has done on the cross.

So what say you???

Aunties

Aunties. You find them in neighbourhood, you find them in the market, you find them in supermarket, you find them in malls, you find them on public transport, you find them outside school, you find them at community centre, you find them at coffee shop. Everywhere you go there will be aunties. How amazing!

I remember 2 seperate incidents on the bus where there were a group of aunties. The first incident: A group of 4 aunties were happily chit-chatting on the bus. They seemed to be very engrossed in their conversation. Paying a little more attention, I realised that they were talking about the market. NOpe! Not the stock market. I meant the PASAR market. They were happily outbeating each other on who paid the least price. And they were also exchanging their magical tips on what kind of food is good for what illness or health. Amazing. When you look them in their faces, you see the zeal and the fulfillment. The second incident was of similiar scenario where the 2 aunties were relating their daily 'adventures'.

Why am i bringing up the topic of aunties? To poke fun of them. Never. Even though their conversations may seemingly seem uninteresting and unproductive, I realised something valuable they have and most of us don't have. TIME. Honestly, they have the whole world to themselves in that sense. With that ample time, these aunties are free to roam around. And do you see what power and significant role they can play in sharing the good news. Well! Maybe it is time that someone help to raise this Christian Homemakers and stir them to spread the Gospel. Even if they are not Christians, these homemakers can really contribute alot to the society by being volunteers to the many charitable homes and services. I am not sure if you see the impact I see. But for me, salute to all the AUNTIES out there!

But sometimes aunties can be also quite funny in an interesting way. I had an inflamation on a patch skin under my left chin. It kinda swell up so one side of my face is puffed up. SO this auntie came up to me and commented, “显杰啊，你是不是又发胖了？：”(Xianjie arh, you put on weight is it?) I am very sure I have been maintaining my diet and watching my weight so why have i put on weight. Then I remember my swollen cheek. Ai yoh! I feel like telling tat auntie, Have you seen someone put on weight on one side of the cheek? Hahahahaha!!!! Amazing how auntie operates.

Wah! My cheek really in pain. The swelling is causing the pain. Seen a doctor and was given anti-biotics. Now surviving on Paracementol to curb the pain. Well! Lesson learn. Keep your shaving blade clean. T_T