PERFECT = TOTAL SUBMISSION

In the midst of preparing a topic for the For Men For Women series during the Youth Fellowship. I was tasked to speak on the topic Premarital Sex. Hmmmmm. How interesting! So much things to talk but just not sure what to talk. Haha.....

Even as I was preparing for this topic, I was always reminded about principles. Why did God create or allow sex? What is His orignal intention for sex? It was meant for a man and woman, convenanted together, to enjoy in the relationship. That is the original intention. That is the principle.

It is so interesting to talk about this topic of Man and Woman. So much things, explanined and unexplained, explained again and again and I guess we can go all out to try to rationalise, emotionalised, physcialised and blah blah, but I think the key to all this is total SUBMISSION to the intention that the Lord has.

I was born into a family where there were alot of differences. Or rather the different one was my dad. (ops!) When I was very young, I always witnessed the quarrels and battles my parents went through. And mind you, most of the time, it was over so trival things. As I grew older, I came to a conclusion that for a couple to at least try to live in harmony, they need to have a lot of common interest, characteristics, lifestyle so as to minimise differences.

With that, that was my perception of perfect marriage. So for a while, I went around looking for the 'perfect' one. In my late teens and young adult period, there was something that really kept me puzzled but yet amazed. I had seen a few couples (in church)with quite obvious differences in characters, were genuinely happy living together, serving together. Initially, I kept observing them, 'hoping' that this examples are not in sync with my original perception. But I was proved wrong. After time, they were still living vey happily and in fact, their relationship was stronger. I wondered why. After much questioning, I realised that it was the Magnet theory. The opposite attracts. Though with differences, they most probably had tried to endure and to compliment each other in their differences. That must be it. A couple with very similiar views, characters will live happily together. Even if the couple is very different, they still can live happily together by enduring and complimenting each other in their differences. That's it! The perfect equation to a happy marriage. I thought I had found the answer to what men and women had been struggling all these generations. I was a genius. Hahaha! But, I realised a flaw. As much as I had try to equate a perfect formulae, why are there still failures in marriage? Many failures started off with couples who are compatible. Everybody around them also thinks so. But why did they still fail? And also many failures were due to irreconileable differences. So it seems obvious that differences can never co-exists together. Great! My theories are as good as the earth is square. There is no PERFECT marriage.

In my pursuit for an answer, I came to the Lord, the authentic Creator. As I seek and ask, the Lord impressed upon me this. Perfect = Total Submission. In a relationship, the key to success or at least harmony is TOTAL SUBMISSION to the Lord. Both the man and woman submit to the Lord. The wife submitting to the authority that the Lord has placed upon the husband. The husband submitting to the help that the Lord has send through the wife. This is the key to a PERFECT marriage. Let me qualify the word PERFECT marriage. It is not a state where differences, unhappiness and negative emotions are absent. But rather is that in such times, both the man and woman come before the Lord with their differences, surrendering their rights and submitting to the will of the Lord. The man is the head of the household not becoz he is of higher being but rather it is the authority that the Lord has placed upon him. So he has no right in the sense to bulldozer his way and rights in demanding that everything he says is right. And to all men, with great power comes great responsibility. If you cannot run the family well, be prepared to answer that to God. As well for the wives, you are not under the men becoz you are of lower being but rather the authority of the Lord is placed upon the men. The Lord has made wives to be the helper for their husbands. (most likely God thought that if you leave men alone or together, they will messed up the whole thing ;p )You can expressed your views and expectations but at times learn to take a step back and submit to the authority of the Lord. Even when the men is persistently stubborn and you know it is a wrong move (as long as it is not a major or fatal decision) In such case, let the men do their way. When things go wrong, just be there alongside with them to support them (and give the 'i-told-you-so' smile). There will never be a 'Fairy Tale Marriage' but you can choose to have a 'Godly Marriage'. TOTAL SUBMISSION to the Lord.

Well! I know with such a short reflection, it is not going to address much issues but I still believe in the principles, the original intention the Lord has. So I do hope that we, in pursue of anything, that we understand the principles that the Lord have for that matter. May we submit ourselves to the Lord's will in all things we do! Amen!