If.... Love just passes you by.......

Something that I came across. Typical drama serial storyline. But guess what? It may just happen in real life..........

Life...

I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so
called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky
hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didnt notice me like that, I knew it.
After class she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before and
handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I wanna tell her, I want her to
know that I don`t wanna Be just friends, I love her
but I`m just too shy, and I don`t know why...

11th Grade
The phone rang. on the other end it was her.
Shewas in tears, mumbling on and on about how
her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because she
didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her
on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she
was mine.
After 2 hours, a drew barrymore movie, & 3 bags of
chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked
at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the
cheek. I wanna tell her, I want her to knowthat I
don`t wanna be just friends, I love her but I'm
just too shy, and i don't knoiw wHy
Senior Year. The day before prom she walked to my
locker. "My date is Sick" she said; he`s not qonna go. well
I didnt have a date and in 7th qrade we made a
promise that if neither of us had dates we
would go together just as "best friends". So we did.

Prom niqht
After everything was over I was standing at
her front door step. I stared at her, She smiled at
me I want her to be mine, but she doesn`t think of
me like that and I know it. Then she said "I Had the
best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the
cheek. I wanna tell her, I want her to kno that I
don`t want to be just friends, I love her but Im
just too shy, and I dont kNow why

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched
as her perfect body loated like an anqel up on
staqe to qet her diploma. I wanted her to be mine,
but she didnt notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her
smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her.
then she lifted her head from my shoulder and
said, you`re my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a
kiss on the Cheek. I wanna tell her, I want her to
know that don`t wanna be just friends, I love her
but I`m just too shy, and I don`t know why

A Few Years Later now I sit in the pews of the
church. that girl is gettinq married now. I
watched her say "i do" and drive off to her new I wanted
her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that
and I knew it. But before she Drove away, she came
to me n said you came!" She said. "thanks!" and
kissed me on the cheek. I wanna tell her, I want
her to know that i dont wanna be just friends, I
love her but I`m just too shy, and i don`t know
why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a
qirl who used to be my "best friend". at the service
they read a diary entry she had wrote in her
hiqh school years.
This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he
was mine, but he doesn`t notice me like that, and I
know it. i wanna tell him, i want him to know
that I don`t wanna be just friends, I love him but I'm
just
too shy, and I don`t know why. I wish he
would tell
me he loved me...I wish I did too. I thought to
myself, and I cried...

Dun miss a chance. But remember God never miss you. You are not forsaken nor forgotten. He has a great plan for every one of us. Those who hears and obeys His voice, will be blessed greatly by His plan.

YOU Give and Take Away!

Guess what? It's no mistake that I have entered a same Title from a previous post. On my earlier post, I was talking abt the song Blessed be Your name and the bridge, You give and take away, impressed upon me the most. And less than a few days, the meaning was even clearer to me. I think on Sunday, I had joined the morning pre-service prayer and Robert was there. He was praying and he kept saying Blessed be Your name. Well! Maybe it's coincidence. But yet the words sunk deep in my heart. And today, as I surfed the Blogs, I came across someone's blog mentioning abt the song and also the bridge, You give and take away. Coincidence again? Maybe! But it speaks alot to me. And I believe that's what the Lord has for me. He bless and He also takes away things in my life. So when He takes away, what will my heart choose to say? Curses? I hope not! I do hope my heart will not turn cold and instead choose to say Blessed be Your name, my Lord, who is above all and who is Almighty. Let me wait on You! Even when that time comes and Your will is to close that door, then let my heart choose to say Blessed be Your name, for I know You have something better for me. Amen!

Mission Trip

3rd Youth Mission Trip. Praise the Lord! I thank God for inspiring the youths to have a heart for mission trip. This is my 2nd time going to Cambodia with the youths. I still remember the first trip when I led as a leader. Haha! Really a new experience. And now this year, I am still leading but not as the team leader but as a Youth Advisor. "sob. sob" I have grown up... Every mission trip seems to be like a milestone in my life. Honestly, every mission trip is like a trip to the mountain to find God! And without fail, He is there and seems so much closer. And He speaks and His word means so much. And aso as I come to Him on issues and decision-making, He will speak so clearly that it is as if He was beside me, speaking to me. And even as we are going to embark on your preparation phase for the Mission Trip, I am preparing myself to encounter God face to face. I want to hear Him, I want to know where He wants to lead me to, I want Him to be involved in my decision making. And every time after Mission Trip, I am refreshed, refocused and renewed. Likewise, this year after the Mission Trip, the Lord will impressed upon me new direction in my life and my life is going into a new phase. I shall wait patiently unto Him. If this is what You say, then I will wait until after Mission Trip.

Older by...... 4 years??

Haha! I think I aged by 4 years this year. I had 4 birthday cake celebration. 1st at Auntie Khim's place, 2nd in church with the youths, 3rd with my family and 4th in church during our Youth Monthy birthday celebration. Though I had stopped looking forward to birthday celebration, I am still very touched, especially the one that the youths had planned for. It's after the Bible Class and they were trying to be subtle abt it but haha, I tried not to know anything. They bought a cake and also they gave me a leather wallet and 'kiap kiap' slippers. Well! They know what I like to collect. Haha! Really thank God for these bunch of youths. Some of them I have seen them grown from young little ones into young adults already. Time really flies. May God continue to bless us with many more of these years.

YOU Give And Take Away

BLESSED BE YOUR NAME

VERSE 1:
Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Pre-CHORUS:
Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

CHORUS:
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

VERSE 2:
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be You name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

BRIDGE:
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

I just took up this devotion which Charles and Emily had given to me for my birthday. It's entitled Blessed Be Your Name. It started the book with the above song by Matt and Beth Redman. This song is really meaningful as it protraits our Lord being great and almigty and worthy of all praises no matter what situation we are in. And the bridge speaks the loudest. "You give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name." The Lord indeed blesses others. But then there are times He also take things away from us or prevent some things from happening. This is becoz He knows what is the best for us. And even when things do not move in what I expect it would, my heart will want to choose to praise Him.

Lord! I will wait upon You. If by then, things dun turn out what I expect to be, I know that it is Your will and that You have a better plan for me. Let me not hasten anything for everything has its time and season. Give me a peaceful heart. And let my heart praise You! Amen!

Lost.....

Dun know why! Just a sense of lostness. Not in the sense of lost in some strange place but rather losing something. It feels like I have lost a big battle. Maybe losing the battle is a considered a consolation. I feel like I have lost more than just the battle, I have lost something valuable. Why? Why do I always get myself fix into such situations? Why? The feelings really ....... (i can't find any 'cleaner' or better word to express myself) Or maybe the battle was never meant to be. I just simply kay po. Nothing better to do. Back side itchy, want to 'charp' in to get my bum burnt. I'm having so much mixed feelings. One moment I can be feeling excited over it, the next moment I'm totally shunning from it. ARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! How I wish I was more task orientated, den I will be more decisive and less emotional.

Random Thought:
dun know why, suddenly feel like continuing the story i started a few months back

THE FLOWER, THE BUTTERFLY, THE BEE (continued.....
http://wwjdchoo.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_wwjdchoo_archive.html)

As time passed, the memories of butterfly faded with the passing seasons. The flower stood where it was and will be daily sunned and showered with love. The flower stood firm and grew daily. At the same time, the bee will also without fail return to the flower. The friendship between the flower and the bee grew. Once in a while, when the bee visit the flower, the bee will take a rest on the petal and both of them will talk - talk abt anything under the sun. The flower was really comfortable to be with the bee. One day, a heavy storm blew over the field. The flower stood where it was braving the storm. The flower knew the bee was not coming and so it could just glimpsed over to the tree the bee is living in. And to the flower's shock, the bee was with another bee. The flower was saddened. The next day, the bee came to visit the flower and this time, the bee introduced its fren bee to the flower. The flower was totally devastated........ You want to know wat the flower did?......................
It invited both bees into the flower and close up its petal, and slowly let them suffocate and die a miserable death. Oh! I forgot to mention. The flower is actually an insect-eating flower. Muahahahhahaahahhahhahaha.

Lord! Take away what is not from You. Let me not understand situation with my own perception for it is always faithless and imperfect but let me see things thru Your eyes, for You are always faithful and perfect. Amen!

Hands Off! That's my NAME!!!

Haha! Really nothing much to do. School reopens for me next week. So trying to slack as much as possible. So nothing to do, decided to go blog and search for things. So one of the things I searched was my NAME! I doubt I would get any search entries. To my surprise, there were searches found. My goodness! haha! So I read thru the different searches. Mostly, the blogs are talking abt this one guy who is 17, studying at Ngee Ann Poly, Mass Comm. ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! That's my name. It's my name. I'm the original. You are the fake. I was born at least 8 years earlier than you. Muahahahahahahaha! I'm cranky. Maybe it's different chinese character. So it could be pronounced as Xian1 Jie1 or Xian1 Jie4 or Xian4 Jie1 or whatever. Maybe i can ask Darren to go school and help me find out who that guy is! Muahahahhahhaha!

Monday + Tuesday = 3 more days to weekend

Monday:

Well! Nothing much happen. Except got back my results. Haizzz. haha! Well not too good but I guess the consolation is I still can finish my module by year end. Thank God! I will be a good boy! Then at nite, I decided to clear my wardrobe. Too much clothes which i either won't wear or can't wear. Anyway it's abt 12am. Haha! Nothing beta to do. But I guess I really need to do tat. The hanging bar in the wardrobe is under great pressure from the clothes. So was like throwing clothes around into the different corners. At the end of it, I have sorted those I wanted back in the wardrobe. Another pile is still in good condition and most prob will go towards the Cambodia Mission Trip. And the last piles are clothes that are really out of condition. Tar tar! Going into the dump. Yeah......!!!!!!

Tuesday:

Woke up pretty late. 11pm. Good gracious me. I'm becoming a lazy bum. Got to start having good sleeping habits. Had a milo and a slice of birthday cake for brunch. Then was bumping around. Then finally at abt 1+pm, I tot I will just go swimming since I have nothing beta to do. So pack up and started my walk to the complex. As usual, this time is pretty crowded with school having their swimming lesson. But thankfully the deep pool was not so congested in the centre. So happily swam for 30 laps. My my! I really so long nvr swim so intensely. The last time I swam like tat was when I learnt swimming. I think I was sec 2. Swimming 30 laps was no issue. Now, after 10 years, 30 laps were like tearing me apart. haha! But I really enjoy it. I could feel my body work out. Haha! So after swimming, went to TM NTUC to buy some stuff. Then met Joyce, a fren whom I have not seen for quite a while. haha! So fast she graduated and looking for job. I opted to take a bus home over walking home. The sun was too glaring and scorching. Haha! And guess wat! I lost another kg. Yeahhh.........! Hopefully another 2 more kg by end of this month. Must work hard! I want to look good at Charles and Emily's wedding. haha! I heard it's a good 'fishing' ground at other people's wedding. Hehe! But honestly, I'm not interested. I just want to fit into my formal clothings, that's all. : )

Wish......

".....irthday to you............. Make a wish!" Hmmmm...... What shall I wish for? There's so many things on my mind. How about another 1 million more wishes? Doesn't sound too bad huh.... Everybody has wishes. People make wishes when they see flying stars, when they celebrate their birthday, when they toss the smallest change they have into the well. I'm not too sure but when girls make wish, do they always imagine themselves as a princess and looking at a bright star in the sky, making a wish? Fairy tales! Nice right!

25! Some people say that equates to a quarter of a century. Some say that is the change in cents that you will get when you pay a McDonald Value Meal with a $10 note. (actually it's I say one) Some say that's is mid way line of my life on earth (also i say one, maybe 1/3 lah! dun wan to die too young) 25 years have sweep past me! Any regrets? Plenty! Any wiser? Maybe! It's definitely a long way but it's only by God's grace. Thank You Lord! But in fact, I have kinda stop looking forward to my birthday after my 21st. Fearful of getting older? Nah! I think after a certain point of time, I just realised age doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't say much abt me. What says about me is simply just who I am. Yes, true enough people have certain expectation of others at different age but I follow God and not man. God shall determine how I should behave. Haha! And another reason why I dun look forward to birthday is that I feel that day, somebody else deserve the seat. Mums! Why? Becoz, they carried us for 9 months, suffered intense pain for a few hours in labour. The day we were born should be a day to celebrate our Mum's heroic act. Haha!
Yesterday, I had 1 cake celebration at Khim's place. A cheese cake. Hehe! I love it. I think they really know my taste. Before I make a wish, my mind seems to enter into a time zone where there was no time. (what i'm trying to say is that in a few seconds of time, my mind went thru a fast-forward thinking pattern) What should I wish? There is something that I really love to wish for. As I look back in relation to this issue, I always take a passive step. I simply just say to God, Let Your will be done! It's not specific. I just feel that I should not allow my expectation 'corrupt' God's will. But den I was reminded that God does listen to our heart's cry. In the bible, David was waging a war with his enemies and he ask God to delay the sunset and God did exactly what David requested. Let me get this right, God did it not becoz David had control over Him but becoz David was a Godly man and God blesses them. I want to be like David, to be Godly in God's eyes. I want Him to bless my desires not becoz He has to give it to me but becoz, He knows it's the best for me. So as I return to Auntie Khim's yard, I make a wish. I told exactly what I wish for but yet at the same time, trusting in His will and timing.
Today, afternoon, the youth celebrated my birthday with a chocolate cake. Someone gave a lame excuse to go and buy the cake. Again, coming to the point of making a wish. Same wish as yesterday? nah! I always make another wish during celebration with the youths. I'm not going to say it out. Becoz if i say it out, it will never be fulfilled in a sincere manner. It has to be brought out naturally. I'm seeing the fruit of it. Not ripe yet but I know it's going to be a great harvest. It's not my work but it's God's hand at work. If I ever leave the Youth Ministry or die, let not anyone remember me of who I am or what I have done but rather who He is and what He has done in my life!
Back at home at nite, it was cake celebration with my parents. B4 that we had dinner at Hola. Honestly, there's a communication break down in our family. We never like to talk during dinner time or family gathering. Not becoz we have attitude problems but rather we (me, my sis and my mum) dun like to communicate with our dad. He is the one with attitude problem. Can never talk to him for more den few sentence without ending up quarreling with him. But den at today's dinner, dun know why suddenly there was this moment, when we just spoke and joked. To be frank, my heart sunk and was close to tears. I quickly dug my hand into my eyes and I simply gave the excuse that my eyes were dry. Haha! How I wish all this while, we had communicated in such intimate manner. At the cake ceremony, yes, once again, it's wishing time. This time I prayed to God for my dad's salvation. It's way past the date due. I must be more proactive. But i dun know how. Only He can help me! I prayed for my mum's health and that I will be able to give her better life asap. I prayed for my sis's work and her future. I prayed that I myself finish study and start working and also the specific prayer I prayed yesterday night.
Lord! I know You know my desires. But above all these, You know the best for me. And this time, I'm not going to sit there and do nothing. I will put up a struggle if I have to, just like Jacob who will never give up anything that is good in Your eyes. Even if at the end, it did not go as I would love it to be, I will not regret. Lord! Show me the way, open up doors, tear down walls if that's Your will to be! Amen

Past has GONE!

Well! For those who are still speculating, let me give a piece of advise. It's no more. The past has gone. So stop speculating. And I'm moving on.......!

Flower or Power

Ai yoh! Didn't know the sun is so glaring and scorching in the morning. Went swimming in the morning. Was actually procrastinating if i shd go or not. The day b4 i already miss my swimming regiment. And that's becoz I told myself that I need a rest so today I can go swimming. Rubbish! So as I woke up around 7.45am, I was trying to convince myself I would go swimming in the afternoon instead. But I know I was just plain procrastinating. So I dragged myself up, changed and left home. As usual, I walked to the swimming complex. Hmmm! Was a bit crowded or rather there were more pple than I expected. But this time round, i die die want to swim at the deep pool, not those training pool where i can literally walk from one end to the other. Swam 20 laps. The sun was melting my skin especially my face. So i conveniently took that as a reason not to swim the last 10 laps. Muahahhahhahah! Then went up to change and went home. Yayyyy! Honestly, I really enjoy swimming. It kinds of defy your own weight and it feels so relaxing and so free. Haha!
Some days not long ago, I remember this incident. I was crossing the bridge beside my home, walking towards church. As I was coming down of the bridge from the other side, I saw this mum and young son stationary. The mum was waiting patiently while the son was picking up this red seeds that had fallen onto the bridge. I found it quite interesting becoz I was quite surprised that a little boy will be interested in such things and also it reminded me when I was young. I was told by my sis that I like to pick up things on the floor. Maybe i shd have become a Garang Guni. So i carried on with my journey. Then after I was done with my work in church, I headed home. And guess what! At the bridge, I met this mum and son again. Apparently, the mum is done with her marketing and was on their way home. And again, the mum was waiting patiently while the son is picking up something. This time round, he was picking up flowers. My goodness! This young boy really loves the nature. As I ponder upon these 2 similiar incident, the Lord spoke to me. What do we pick up in our life? The young boy saw something in the seed and the flower. He saw beauty and appreciated them. He was contended to have them which many boys would not even have a second glance on before stepping on them. The other boys most probably will be bugging their parents to buy this toy, tat toy. Likewise, in our life, what do we see in the things we have? Do we see God's hands at work in the things in our life even if the things are simple and not 'worthy' in the eyes of the world? Or do we just want more of that and this and never be contended.
The second lesson I learnt is that when doing God's work, there may be times when we are doing it 'alone'(becoz other see no value in it) and we may struggle and take longer to do it. But it's ok! God is patient just like the mum. The mum didn't complain nor did she hurry her son. Likewise, God is the same.
Lord! Help me to see the beauty in the things You have for me! Let me not despise it even if the world is against it. Let me hold on to Your faithfulness for You neither sleep nor slumble. Let me not lose sight of You!

Body Of Christ

Really feel so much better after sharing my burden with Darren. I really thank God that, despite our age difference, we can share with one another. And I guess that is what Body of Christ means. Not just coming together during Sunday and activities but also to share our lives and most importantly, to keep each other in prayer and support. And I thank God for many other people God has put into my life. My mum and my sis. Thank God for putting such wonderful and loving family members in my life. Thank God for my mentors - William&Lydia, Charles&Emily, David&Veron. These are the Godly couples who have great influence in my life. Thank God for other mentors like Sherman, who influence me greatly in the aspect of Worship. Thank God for brothers and sisters in Christ who have been such great friends to me. ThanK God for Daniel that during our young age, we stay close with one another and with God. Thank God for Xu En who has also been a great listener and advisor. Thank God for Darren who have been such a great man of God at his age. Honestly, I can't complain any more. Really God is good. He knows our desires. He brings help in the companionship of His children. Thank You Lord! Praise Adonai!

My Drama Life

My Life once again unfold into the same story line. Nothing new. Same old thing and honestly, the feelings are just unbearable. Not again. And it hurts even greater this time. Becoz this time round, I'm not just going to sit down there. I will act but the timing is not rite yet. The feeling is like a reserve seating on the bench. The Coach has promised to bring me on in the 2nd half. Whether I score or not, it's not important. At least I know I will be given a chance to prove myself. But having to seat thru the duration where I just watch the match in action, it's really unbearable. Stupid metaphor. Nobody will understand. Argggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!. Let me just throw my tantrum.
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Lord! Let me hide in Your embrace. Won't You stroke my back to console me. Won't You wipe the tears of fear off my eyes. Let me find comfort and security in Your love.

Distracted in order to stay Focused

Well! It's monday! As usual, everybody is schooling except me. Do I feel happy? maybe! after such a long break, laziness kinds of set in. And next monday result is coming out. Haiz....! There's nvr once I can feel confident and comfortable receiving results. It's not tat i hate studying, I hate exams. Ok enough of complaints. Just got to prepared myself. And after that, got to registered for school. Yawn! Back to mugging again. Muahahaha!

Honestly, as i came back from the Leaders' Retreat, so many things have happened, so many things have gone thru my mind, so many conversations have been communicated with Him, basically many many things. Haha! I'm glad that the retreat has brought me back to focus. But at the same time, it means alot of the old habits got to go..... It's not going to be easy. While trying to kick the old habits, something have to be done to fill up the empty slot. And not just anything but something that is of substance and lasting or else, very soon, i will be back to my old self again. Monday afternoon, i just decided to go for a swim. Just to have a change in my lifestyle and also act as a distraction away from my old self. So walk to Tampines Swimming Complex from my house. They just renovated. Nothing much has changed except it looks newer. Wanted to go to the deep pool to swim but got a shock as there were so many students learning swimming. So switch to the learning pool and it's no better. Some school is having swimming lesson. Xian 1/2. I really wanted to swim laps. Eventually I did swim 30 laps but at a very unbelievable speed. It took me nearly 2 hours, a large difference from my usual 45min. Haha! But glad i still manage to be able to swim. And the changing room was good. Clean and user friendly.
It's not just replacing new habits with old habits but at the same time, managing my emotions. That's my weakest link and I know that's where it will hit the hardest. The devil will storm into this area and start bombarding me with alot of doubts, untrue facts, emotional baggage.... And to be frank, I'm feeling it already. Suddenly out of nothing, i just swung into my moods. And my exams results are coming out soon. And there are so many worries and doubts, way too much for me to deal with. I really dun know! But then in my weakness, I know He is strong.
Lord! I know there are issues that we have dealt with before and You have given Your word. I know You are faithful but I am weak in my flesh and I crumbled upon doubts and uncertainty. I know that precisely I am weak, the more I need You. Help me to be patient and not wait upon human but upon You! As I wait, guard my heart, O Lord! Let me not lose sight of You! If it's year end, then I will wait and Lord, surprise me!

LORD I THIRST FOR YOU

Verse:
Lord, I thirst for You
I long to be in Your presence;
My soul will wait on You
Father, draw me nearer
Draw me nearer
To the beauty of Your holiness.

Chorus:
I will wait for You, Almighty God
In the beauty of Your holiness;
I will worship You, Almighty God
In the beauty of Your ho - liness.
©1992 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
Words and Music by Gary Sadler

Dating........

Oh..... isn't it nice to date.......!!!!! Isn't it nice to have someone who is always there to care for, always showering you with love and flowers and diamond rings and fine dining and tours and ....... Erhh.... Hmmm..... On a second and prudent thought, I think it's better to invest in properties. At least, you can reap interest out of it.

On a more serious note, this topic has been widely discussed, debated, struggled with and blah blah blah! It seems like nearly everyone cannot escaped from it. Unless you are just simply interested in investing in properties. Haha! Good for you! Well! I'm 25 years and as I look back, I have thought about it, struggled with it and never been involved in it! (LOSER!) Maybe? Maybe not! I will get to this at a later part.

Many a times, we deal with it in our own limited understanding, the world perspective and fail to allow the Dating Master to get involved. Dun get me wrong, I am not saying God is a flirt. God created man and woman to be attracted to one another and eventually to become as one body in marriage. So if He brings 2 together, doesn't that makes Him the one who knows Dating the best. On Saturday or rather yesterday, during Youth Fellowship word time, my small group was touching on this topic DATING: WANTING, WISHING, WAITING!

Well! I started the session with some info on myself in relation to dating. I shared that up to date, I have in total 8 crushes (more like crashes), never dated before, first time I indicated my interest to a girl, she totally didn't respond and also once, I overheard a girl saying that I was cute and I end up "shiaming'' her. Haha! As I paused for a moment to look at these events, I praised God. I'm glad that I have never been involved in any relationship with that 8 crushes becoz it was never meant to be and most probably, I would have hurt the other party too deep. (actually also partly becoz I nvr dared to approach them! Haha!) At the same time, as I stay single, I start to see things in a broader perspective and I start to have a clearing understanding of relationship is all about. Though I may not have fully comprehend the mystery of relationship (which i believe I won't), I am now more confident in Him to provide. People always say it is good to go into many relationships so as to gain 'experience' and helps to 'identify' what type of girl or boy suit them the most! I beg to differ it. For me, obedience is more important than going around trying to find the right one. Wouldn't God have chosen and reserved the best for you. Then why do you go around playing 'Ti Gum' game, hoping that eventually one will turn out right! (Disclaimer: I'm not saying this to shoot at anyone in particular but rather that's how i feel the world treats relationship) I dun like to play "hide and seek''. There's a season for everything. You may argue that one cannot expect to sit down there and God will drop the right one right in your face. I agree. It will never happen. I will talk more abt this later.

So carrying on with my lesson, we talk about Wanting. Wanting a relationship. All of us have a desire for companionship. When we were baby, we want our parents. When we have siblings, we want to play with them. When we start schooling, we have friends. And at a later stage, there's this desire for a soul partner. It's normal and that's how God has created us. To desire for a relationship. But we have to be careful, becoz if this desire gets out of control, it will have an adverse effect. If our desire for human companionship is greater than our desire to have a relationship with God, we are on a way trip to many troubles. We read from John 4:7-18 where it talks about Jesus meeting a Samaritian woman at the well and He asked her for a drink. Then He goes on talking about the Living Water that quenches thirst. Jesus later revealed that this woman had 5 past marriages and at present is having an affair. From this woman, we see that she has a desire for companionship maybe out of security reason and that explains her multiple marriage and affair. From this we can see her desire is nvr quenched and she keeps searching in vain. That's becoz her priority is wrong. She has no relationship with Jesus who is the Living Water that will quenched her thirsting desire. If she have known Jesus or trusted in Him, she will never have felt insecured and end up having multiples marriage and affair.

Next, we covered on what if our perspective of Dating is not in a Godly manner. We talked about 3 things that will happen.
1) Our dating standards will be lowered.
- maybe becoz of our desperateness, we just simply take what is placed in front of you, nvr mind if the standard is way below what you want
- and also we fail to wait upon the Lord to present to you the best

2) External than Internal
- we are more concerned with External than Internal. Good figures, good look, dress well.... but nvr mind about the characters. Surely one who look good and dress well should be of great character. Dun get me wrong. Good looking is not a sin but in fact, it should be something to give thanks for. (but having a good look also has its responsibility, if i have time, i will talk about it) I'm against the superficial judgement of how one looks for a partner.
- Prov11:22
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion”
- Prov31:30
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeing but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”

3) Too much pressure in the relationship
- when God is not in the centre
- this is something that I can talk about and go on and on. This is something that I personally feel is of great concern which make me conclude not to find a non-Christian girl. (Got time, i will expand a sharing on it)

So be careful. The world will offer you many other drinks - Slurpies, Big Gulp, Frappucino, Tequila Shot. They are sweet to our tooth but also they are temporal and doesn't quench our thirst. Only the Living Water will quench our thirst.

As we conclude on the desire to have a relationship with the someone special, for those who are still single, take this time to really build a relationship with Christ and allow Him to unfold the true you and also for Him to reveal the Right one.

WISHING! Wishing for the type of partner we want. Intelligence, good-looking, hardworking,.... I believe there are many much more things we look for in the partner we want. Let's take a look into the book of Genesis, chpt 24. It talks abt Abraham asking one of his servant to look for a wife for his son, Isaac. And he listed out the requirements he wants to see in his daughter-in-law.
1) In the family (v1-9)
- Abraham wants the lady to be one who is in the family of God
2) A servant's heart (v12-21)
3) Trust God (v58)
4) Respectful (v64,65)

To summarise, Abraham wanted to find a girl
Who is in the family of God
Who serves God
Who trusts God
Who respect God

and in turn we shd look for a girl
Who is in the same family as ours
Who can serve God alongside with you
Who will together with you trust in God to develop the relationship
Who respect God so this respect will flow into respect for her

WAITING. This is the hardest part of dating. It is not comfortable but I believe that it is a moulding process.
1) Do not wait for any person in particular but wait upon God
2) Singlehood is not suffering. It's a season to build one up in character and spirit.
3) Do not wait for the wrong things for they come with consequences.

I end the session with my own philosophy for dating.
When do we start looking for the other half?
My approach. 4 M's

1) have both of you Met God?
- do both of you have a relationship with God?
2) do both of you Model after God?
- do both of you follow the way of Christ?
3) do both of you know the Mission God has for you?
- this is a bit tricky. It may be hard to identify. But yet it is something which shdn't be neglected. Give an example. There were once these 2 youths who were together. Then at a later stage of their lives, their Mission in life have been revealed to them. Both of them feel the need to do Evangelism. But the girl's calling is in overseas and the guy is local. They talked thru, seek counsel, pray thru and eventually feel that the relationship cannot move on and they mutually agreed to end the relationship in a Godly manner.

4) only when the above 3 M's are carefully considered and met, would i suggest one to find a Mate!

And when we do find a partner, how shd we approach the relationship. Earlier on, I was talking abt waiting upon the Lord but there's this concern on by sitting there, God will not drop the right one right in our face. Agree. On our part, we have to do something. The world teaches about getting into as many relationship as possible to find the right one. I half agree with it but I'm against the liberlism in the way the relationship is carried out. No substance, only emotional baggage and nothing honouring in God's eyes. For me, I still strongly recommend dating but in another form. I called it Friendship Dating.

Here's how this theory works:
1) Stay near the well
- the well refers to the Christian Community we belong to. Look at how Rebekah was found. At the well side. In the olden context, the well is where everybody gathers.
2) Observe and identify
- observe the opposite sex with respect not lust. See and identify what are the characters that you are attracted to. This will help you in the future to idenify the type of girls you will like.
3) Possible one
- if you have identify a possible one, do not rush into it. Take time to pray about, seek the counsels of the mature ones
- and if you feel he/she could be the one, approach he/she and verbalised your interest but with no obligation from the other party.
- if the other party agree, then this will move you into the proper of Frenship Dating

FRIENDSHIP DATING:

1) Stay as friends, nothing more, nothing less. This is to reduce the pressure on having unnecessary emotional baggage
2) Must have accountability. Preferably with a Godly and married couple
3) Focused on Character Understanding and Character Building
- Character understanding as in knowing each other, the good and the bad ones. Transperancy.
- Character building as in building each other characters on God's word
4) Has a time span. At the end of the time span, both parties will make a decision if they feel they can develp on. This part shd be done with the mentors. If both parties are agreeable that God has a greater plan for them together, they can move on to a deeper relationship and usually it means lookings towards getting married and etc.... If both parties feel that it is not possible to move on, then they simply end the Friendship Dating and still very much are friends.

Well! These are what I have. It is not the solution. It's just something I feel can help me have a more wholistic relationship with people.

And also coming to the point that I have not been attached. Well! I choose to praise God for that! I learn so much more than i would have if i have been attached. And all those pains and hurts which i didn't go thru but yet i have seen it in people's life. All these while, God has been moulding my characters. That's what I truly treasured.

And my prayer is that I will not lose sight of God's faithfulness and to continue to fix my eyes on Him. Let not my flesh cut me from receiving the best from God. Help me to be patient not so much to wait for the one but to wait upon His timing. Praise be to our God! Amen!

Re.....Turn, Newed, Freshed, Charged,

Praise the Lord! Just return from church Leaders' Retreat! Was fantastic! If I didn't remember correctly, this is the 2nd time I attended Leaders' Retreat out of a total of 3 times. I attended the 1st and 3rd retreat which happen to be at the same venue in JB, Tanjong Puteri Resort! The first one was 5 yrs ago. I was then 20! My goodness! Time really flies! At that time i was still a relatively new leader. I was so energetic and 'on-fire'! Yes! Now i am still energetic and 'on-fire' but in a more mature way! Though it was a 3 day 2 night, it was a very fruitful time. Everybody had a new and refresh touch from the Lord! This retreat was not so much to 'plan' for the upcoming years but simply for the leaders to come back to the basic! I really thank God for He spoke so much that I believe I won't be able to blog it on one night! Honestly, this is one turning point for me! I sense that Lord is going to do something great! In my life! In the youth ministry! In SACC! In the churches in Singapore! In the churches all over the world! His glory is going to pour forth unto the nations! But then there's one thing to think about is, are we ready to contain His glory! Well! I will leave more details in the next update! Stay tune! God bless!

NOTHING BETA TO DO

FAVOURITES:
-color: SKY BLUE, YELLOW
-food: (EVERYTHING) EGG
-song: CHRISTIAN SONGS THAT ARE THEOLOGICALLY SOUND AND NOT LOUD
-movie: HMMMM! I DUN USUALLY REMEMBER MOVIES! SO NOPE!
-sport: SOCCER, BASKETBALL, BOWLING, CYCLING, BADMINTON, SWIMMING, SHOPPING
-day of the week: SUNDAY
-season: ERRHH! SINGAPORE NO SEASON! ONLY FROM HOT TO HOTTEST!
-ice-cream: VANILLA WITH COOKIES CRUMBLES

CURRENT:
-mood: MIXED
-taste: SWEET WITH BITTERNESS (JUST ATE DURIAN)
-annoyance: THE OTHER MAN IN MY HOUSE

FIRSTS:
-best friend: YONG SONG AND NAN GUANG
-crush: P.L
-movie: HMMM! WHO CAN REMEMBER!
-music: HMMM! ................................

LASTS:
-cigarette: HAVE TRIED TAKING PUFF IN SECONDARY! NO JOKE, WAS BREATHLESS FOR THE WHOLE WEEK! SO MY ADVISE, DUN PICK UP!
-drink: POKKA GREEN TEA
-ride: TAXI
-movie: PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 2
-phone call: SOME STUPID 'BANK' CALL UP IF I WANT TO HAVE A CREDIT FACILITIES THAT GIVES ME 5x MY PAY! ERHHHHHH! I'M A STUDENT, WHERE GOT PAY!!!
-CD: BURN A DVD ON MY PARENTS' TRIP TO CHINA! THAT MAN HAS BEEN BUGGING ME NON STOP TO DO UP HIS DVD!

HAVE YOU EVER:
-dated one of your best friends: ERHHH...????
-been arrested: NEARLY! FOR PLAYING SOCCER AT VOID DECK
-been on tv: NAH!
-kissed someone you don't know: HMMMM!!!! NOPE!

THINGS:
-4 things you did today: PLAY COM, BURN DVD, VISIT GRANDMA, READ BLOG
-4 sounds you can hear right now: RAIN, FAN, SOUND FROM KEYBOARD, NATURAL GAS!

Bigger Picture

Haha! Mood swing again. Swinging from one end to another. But one thing I learn when I have mood swing is that the best person to talk to is God. Just lament to Him, complain to Him, whine to Him, pour out to Him. And He never ever stop listening. He neither sleep nor slumber. And at the end of 'throwing the little tantrum', He will console and comfort and somehow or rather, you will find a way. Thank you Lord! I feel so much better when He enlightened me with what He has for me! Just like the previous post I've mentioned abt not looking left nor right but look unto God, when we focus our sight on Him, He will direct us and show us the way. Praise be to our God!

Deja Vu

Once again! That same whole plot that happen the beginning of last year is unveiled once again! Though I haven't tested to confirm my suspicion, but my sensing is so strong! My senses are usually very accurate. I thought only such things happen in drama series. But yet it happens in my life. And not once but i believe the sequel is abt to unfold! Why! Is this some kind of joke! Why! Why! Why! I dun know how to react! I simply just keep mum and see the whole 'show' as one of the audience. Maybe it will feel better! Maybe it will feel worse! I dun know!
Lord! Not now! Not the same thing! I dun think I can go thru it again! It's too much pain and hurt! But yet not my will but Yours be done! Amen!

Simple Faith!

A sister-in-Christ of mine send this story to me! As I read this story, my heart was touched! It really keep me thinking about my faith! Sometimes, I just complicate my faith with all my principles, my expectations, the way of the world! This man's faith was just so simple. Everything and anything, he just look up unto Him! Even in times of hardships and pain, he found comfort and joy in Him! May our faith be as simple and innocent!

By the altar
By the altar
>> >> A minister passing through his church
>> in the middle of the day,
>> decided to pause by the altar
>> and see who had come to pray.
>> Just then the back door opened,
>> a man came down the aisle.
>> The minister frowned as he saw
>> the man hadn't shaved in a while.
>> His shirt was kind a shabby
>> and his coat was worn and frayed,
>> the man knelt, he bowed hishead,
>> Then rose and walked away.
>> In the days that followed,
>> each noon time came this chap,
>> each time he knelt just for a moment,
>> a lunch pail in his lap.
>> Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
>> with robbery a main fear,
>> He decided to stop the man and ask him,
>> "What are you doing here?"
>> The old man said, he worked down the road.
>> Lunch was half an hour.
>> Lunchtime was his prayer time,
>> For finding strength and power,
>> "I stay only moments,
>> because the factory is so far away;
>> as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
>> This is kind a what I say:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
>> HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
>> AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
>> DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
>> BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
>> SO JESUS, THIS IS JIM
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> The minister feeling foolish,
>> told Jim that was fine.
>> He told the man he was welcome
>> To come and pray just anytime.
>> Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks."
>> He hurried to the door.
>> The minister knelt at the altar,
>> he'd never done it before.
>> His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
>> and met with Jesus there.
>> As the tears flowed, in his heart,
>> he repeated old Jim's prayer:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
>> HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
>> AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
>> DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
>> BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
>> SO JESUS, THIS IS ME
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> >> >> Past noon one day, the minister noticed
>> that old Jim hadn't come.
>> As more days passed without Jim,
>> he began to worry some.
>> At the factory, he asked about him,
>> learning he was ill..
>> The hospital staff was worried,
>> But he'd given them a thrill.
>> The week that Jim was with them,
>> Brought changes in the ward.
>> His smiles, a joy contagious.
>> Changed people, were his reward.
>> The head nurse couldn't understand
>> why Jim was so glad,
>> when no flowers, calls or cards came,
>> Not a visitor he had.
>> The minister stayed by his bed,
>> He voiced the nurse's concern:
>> No friends came to show they cared.
>> He had nowhere to turn.
>> Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
>> up and with a winsome smile;
>> "the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
>> that in here all the while
>> everyday at noon He's here,
>> a dear friend of mine, you see,
>> He sits right down, takes my hand,
>> Leans over and says to me:
>> "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU JIM,
>> HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
>> SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
>> AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
>> ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
>> I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
>> AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS
>> CHECKING IN TODAY."
>> >> If this blesses you, pass it on. Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you. But for those of us who are already His, He not >> only holds us in the palm of His hand, but has engraved our names there, and we are continually in His sight (Isaiah 49:16) Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones. If you aren't ashamed. Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me," I will be ashamed of you before my Father." If you are not ashamed, pass this on . But only if you mean it. Yes, I do love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing but with Him "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." (Phil 4:13) This is too good not to share - SO THIS IS ME. JUST CHECKING IN...