Distracted in order to stay Focused

Well! It's monday! As usual, everybody is schooling except me. Do I feel happy? maybe! after such a long break, laziness kinds of set in. And next monday result is coming out. Haiz....! There's nvr once I can feel confident and comfortable receiving results. It's not tat i hate studying, I hate exams. Ok enough of complaints. Just got to prepared myself. And after that, got to registered for school. Yawn! Back to mugging again. Muahahaha!

Honestly, as i came back from the Leaders' Retreat, so many things have happened, so many things have gone thru my mind, so many conversations have been communicated with Him, basically many many things. Haha! I'm glad that the retreat has brought me back to focus. But at the same time, it means alot of the old habits got to go..... It's not going to be easy. While trying to kick the old habits, something have to be done to fill up the empty slot. And not just anything but something that is of substance and lasting or else, very soon, i will be back to my old self again. Monday afternoon, i just decided to go for a swim. Just to have a change in my lifestyle and also act as a distraction away from my old self. So walk to Tampines Swimming Complex from my house. They just renovated. Nothing much has changed except it looks newer. Wanted to go to the deep pool to swim but got a shock as there were so many students learning swimming. So switch to the learning pool and it's no better. Some school is having swimming lesson. Xian 1/2. I really wanted to swim laps. Eventually I did swim 30 laps but at a very unbelievable speed. It took me nearly 2 hours, a large difference from my usual 45min. Haha! But glad i still manage to be able to swim. And the changing room was good. Clean and user friendly.
It's not just replacing new habits with old habits but at the same time, managing my emotions. That's my weakest link and I know that's where it will hit the hardest. The devil will storm into this area and start bombarding me with alot of doubts, untrue facts, emotional baggage.... And to be frank, I'm feeling it already. Suddenly out of nothing, i just swung into my moods. And my exams results are coming out soon. And there are so many worries and doubts, way too much for me to deal with. I really dun know! But then in my weakness, I know He is strong.
Lord! I know there are issues that we have dealt with before and You have given Your word. I know You are faithful but I am weak in my flesh and I crumbled upon doubts and uncertainty. I know that precisely I am weak, the more I need You. Help me to be patient and not wait upon human but upon You! As I wait, guard my heart, O Lord! Let me not lose sight of You! If it's year end, then I will wait and Lord, surprise me!

LORD I THIRST FOR YOU

Verse:
Lord, I thirst for You
I long to be in Your presence;
My soul will wait on You
Father, draw me nearer
Draw me nearer
To the beauty of Your holiness.

Chorus:
I will wait for You, Almighty God
In the beauty of Your holiness;
I will worship You, Almighty God
In the beauty of Your ho - liness.
©1992 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
Words and Music by Gary Sadler