Lost.....

Dun know why! Just a sense of lostness. Not in the sense of lost in some strange place but rather losing something. It feels like I have lost a big battle. Maybe losing the battle is a considered a consolation. I feel like I have lost more than just the battle, I have lost something valuable. Why? Why do I always get myself fix into such situations? Why? The feelings really ....... (i can't find any 'cleaner' or better word to express myself) Or maybe the battle was never meant to be. I just simply kay po. Nothing better to do. Back side itchy, want to 'charp' in to get my bum burnt. I'm having so much mixed feelings. One moment I can be feeling excited over it, the next moment I'm totally shunning from it. ARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! How I wish I was more task orientated, den I will be more decisive and less emotional.

Random Thought:
dun know why, suddenly feel like continuing the story i started a few months back

THE FLOWER, THE BUTTERFLY, THE BEE (continued.....
http://wwjdchoo.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_wwjdchoo_archive.html)

As time passed, the memories of butterfly faded with the passing seasons. The flower stood where it was and will be daily sunned and showered with love. The flower stood firm and grew daily. At the same time, the bee will also without fail return to the flower. The friendship between the flower and the bee grew. Once in a while, when the bee visit the flower, the bee will take a rest on the petal and both of them will talk - talk abt anything under the sun. The flower was really comfortable to be with the bee. One day, a heavy storm blew over the field. The flower stood where it was braving the storm. The flower knew the bee was not coming and so it could just glimpsed over to the tree the bee is living in. And to the flower's shock, the bee was with another bee. The flower was saddened. The next day, the bee came to visit the flower and this time, the bee introduced its fren bee to the flower. The flower was totally devastated........ You want to know wat the flower did?......................
It invited both bees into the flower and close up its petal, and slowly let them suffocate and die a miserable death. Oh! I forgot to mention. The flower is actually an insect-eating flower. Muahahahhahaahahhahhahaha.

Lord! Take away what is not from You. Let me not understand situation with my own perception for it is always faithless and imperfect but let me see things thru Your eyes, for You are always faithful and perfect. Amen!